etrayalogs | { Closed || Playing House }

Entry tags:

{ Closed || Playing House }

WHO: Yuri Leclerc and Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
WHEN: Throughout Mission 004
WHERE: Moorecroft Village || Leclerc-Blaiddyd Household
WHAT: Suburban Living
NOTES\WARNINGS: Ghost imagery, hallucinations, poor mental health, dissociation

My attic is full of bones and full of hopeless young emotions that just won't grow up...

code

Content Warnings by thread

First Night || I will be your scarecrow

Ghosts | Haunting | Hallucinations | Poor mental health

Rainy Weekend || My life will always be painted in grey

Dissociation | Low self worth

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

When the sky turns gray and everything is screaming...

I will reach inside
Just to find my heart is beating
You tell me to hold on
Oh, you tell me to hold on
But innocence is gone
And what was right is wrong

[ It had been a very full first day in Moorecroft Village. Having landed in yet another strange land just after being stuck on a ship that sails on a black ocean of stars was... tiring to say the least. Dimitri had been looking forward to rest. In fact he had crashed before the 8pm curfew.

When he wakes in the middle of the night he recalls immediately where he is. Disorientation of that nature isn't what's wrong. It's the noises. The scratching, the tapping, the whispering. Quiet voices coming from just outside the window; words at just the decibel where he can't make out what they're saying. And he knows. He knows who they are. It's them. All of them. He's seen them before at the edges of his vision. Nightly visitors. They stay further away from him than his parents do, than Glenn does. He knows though. He knows they're getting closer. They always have been drawing nearer.

And now they're just outside. Scraping the walls looking for a way to get in. A way to get him. Dimitri thought he would be ready for them. He thought he was prepared for the dead to come collect their debt. Take what is owed. He didn't think they all would bridge the distance at once... Perhaps the veil is thinner here in Moorecroft. They're right outside. Scratching their decaying nails against the glass, such a thin defense...

There isn't any light coming from the curtains, but there is some coming from the glowing time display. 3:15 in the morning in wretched red, an unholy hour if there ever was one. Sitting shakily up Dimitri glances about the room to see if any of the spirits have breached the walls... It is hard to tell... that in the corner... it might be... Is it the gleam of a skull? With sunken flesh and rotted clothing... yes it could be... And that chill on the back of his neck, is that fingers?

Before he knows it he is on his feet and in the hall, unsure of how he got there, and his heart is going wild. It's not just the previous room the ghosts are trying to claw their way into, it's out here too. Is it everywhere? Goddess he knows this is what he deserves, but he isn't sure if he can take it. His feet feel unsteady as he walks slowly down the hall. He knows if he turns around he'll see them standing in the room he was just in. He knows. He's sure.

As he passes a room on the left the little nightlight catches his eye and he instinctively looks. The nursery. There. They're outside trying to get in here too. The baby. Sasha. Is that one in the wardrobe there? Near the crib? He can't tell. His feet carry him quicker to the babe's bedside and he scoops the child up, cradling them to his chest. Then he is back in the hall again, but where can he go? The dead have them surrounded. They're so close now he can almost make out what they're saying.

Dimitri looks down at Sasha in his arms and whispers soothing nothings. He can't let the dead take the babe. His feet carry him further, further down. Down the stairs into the deeper dark. He remembers the layout. It's around here somewhere, just here, he knows it. He knows. The basement is quieter, but he can still hear them trying to get in. They're not safe. They won't last the night. Hands that grab, that touch, that feel. They try to grip him but he keeps moving. There. The closet. Another wall, another door to keep them at bay. Just a little more.

It's shut. A little bit more quiet now. No rank breath of the decaying on him. Breathe. He needs to breathe. Shhh, Sasha, keep quiet dear... But he knows they're out there. He just can't hear them anymore shut away like this. Can't hear them coming. Is this worse or better? He can't tell. He just keeps rocking the baby. Hush now. It's alright... ]

[ Noise isn't unusual in Yuri's experience. Neither are voices. He's long accustomed to the activity of Abyss and various camps that followed his time there, including the Kingdom Army's. Someone was always up, someone was always working on something. There was never a time when everything was quiet and still.

Light sleeper that he is, Yuri had to battle to get decent rest, but it's one of those struggles he's used to. What he isn't used to is the noise that starts up after they're shut in their houses in this place. They're not living in the sort of close quarters that he knows so well, yet the sounds so easily itch at his ears as though they were.

He tries to ignore it, until Dimitri gets up.

He waits patiently, until Dimitri doesn't return.

Time ticks by. Yuri doesn't hear signs of either Dimitri or the baby they'd been given, a baby that somehow has resemblance to them both, like a pretty, impossible little doll. He doesn't know what to make of that part, but they're responsible for that baby, and so he ventures out to search for the two.

It takes him a while to locate them — longer than he likes as he drifts through the house. His footfalls are silent on carpeted floors, though they would be regardless; it's a skill borne of years spent as a thief, among other things. What marks his progress is a healing spell he keeps between his fingers, consistently feeding it enough energy to use it as a light rather than tossing it at a target.

Yuri's search eventually brings him to the basement, where he also sees no sign of the two. As he peers into the dark, however, he thinks he hears a familiar voice. ]

...Dimitri, are you down here?

[ Dimitri startles by the sudden noise- his leg twitches out and kicks the closet door that shut them in. It is time. His ghosts are here to claim him. Here to dig their cold bones into him, to pull him down into the deepest pits where he belongs. A monster like him has no ending but this. He's sorry father. So sorry stepmother. Will you forgive him Glenn? He couldn't bring justice, couldn't end their suffering, but maybe... Maybe the professor will continue the campaign. Finish what he could not.

Their voices are louder now. He can hear them. His parents are beckoning. They are ashamed of him, yes, they hiss as much, but now he too will join them. He's missed them so much. A day has not gone by when he hasn't thought of them. Not one. Why did they have to leave him? If only Gustave was a little later he-

He's not alone in the closet. Dimitri can see him. Glenn. He's here too. Here in the dark. He's quiet. Sometimes he appears that way, quieter, harder to see. It's his eyes, they burn like amber, just like how he remembered them. Sharp and as life like. Glenn is pointing, but at what? At Dimitri? No, he's pointing at what- who Dimitri is holding. Sasha. Sasha, his beautiful child.

Sasha isn't safe. When Dimitri looks back to where Glenn was he's gone. He cradles Sasha closer and tries to breathe. He needs to keep his family safe... His family. Where is Yuri? His heartrate spikes again. Yuri. ]

[ The noise is enough to spur Yuri down the basement steps, the soft glow of his healing spell drifting along with him. He peers into the dark, looking for Dimitri's familiar form, yet he finds nothing but an apparently vacant basement. All is still, with no apparent sign that the other man is down here, yet Yuri had conducted a thorough search.

Where else could Dimitri be, if not down here in the basement? He wonders this anew as he reaches the bottom of the steps, turning to cast his spell's light one way and then the other as he tries to determine where Dimitri could fit. ]

Dimitri, are you down here?

[ He's sure he'll find Sasha wherever Dimitri has gone. Brief as his tenure at the academy was, it had been long enough for Yuri to observe the way the prince was with orphans and cats caught in trees. No doubt he's looking after the baby they'd suddenly wound up with, wherever it is he's hiding. ]

[ He isn't sure... He doesn't know... But that sounded like Yuri. The door is thick, as are the walls, it muffles everything. But that could be Yuri. Is the other man ok? Did the vengeful spirits finally break in? How close were they now? Does he call out? Will they hear? But Yuri isn't safe. Not if he's out in the open.

Bracing Sasha against his chest with one arm, Dimitri reaches up in front of him trying to find the nob. His nails only scrape against wood. The dark is pitch, is total, is... no, not quite, there, just where the door and floor meet, was that green? He drags his hand down the door to the bottom, pushing down the plush carpet to let in more of the light. It is green. ]

Yuri?! Is that you?

[ If he sounds breathy and ~~scared~~ ~~worried~~ ~~nervous~~ concerned, no he doesn't. ]

[ The scraping momentarily halts his movements, dragging Yuri's attention back toward the wall behind him. Or rather, to the closet. He stares owlishly, wondering briefly whether a rat or some other creature had managed to get into their house.

Except then he's greeted by Dimitri's voice. It sounds so small and anxious to his ears, which immediately begs questions. He crosses the room toward the door, bringing his light with him as he does, for whatever illumination it provides. Could he have flipped the light switch? Yes, but it didn't occur to him, unaccustomed as he is. ]

Dimitri, are you...? [ He trails off, spying Dimitri's fingertips under the door. ] I'm going to open the door, alright?

[ After he announces his intentions, he does just that, gently turning the knob and opening the door. ]

[ As Dimitri draws in a long breath he can feel his lungs rattle. It is him. Relief is mixing within the dread causing the stagnant chill to warm a little. Upon hearing Yuri's words he draws his hand back so the door doesn't catch them. He's trying to keep his breathing steady and even but he can't seem to get enough air in.

When Yuri opens the closet door he finds Dimitri sitting on the floor shirtless and in his night cloths cradling Sasha to his chest. His eye patch is no where to be seen and both eyes wince once the glowing spell shines down on him. The darkness has enveloped him for awhile causing the light to sting a bit. He seems breathless, like he's been running despite being seated. The closet may be small, but it is empty, awaiting things to be put in storage. In direct juxtaposition of the situation, still sounding strained Dimitri asks, ]

Are you alright?

Edited (color of spell) 2024-08-05 01:01 (UTC)

[ When Dimitri looks as though something genuinely put the fear of death into him, Yuri can't help being surprised by the question. Even now, even like this, Dimitri puts others before himself. He's still the man Yuri believes in, he's sure of that, but he puts the thought aside for now. It's not the time. ]

I think that's my line, finding you down here like this.

[ Yuri drops down for a crouch, looking Dimitri and Sasha over more closely. Neither seems hurt, thank goodness for that. When he couldn't find them, it was impossible to fend off his concerns, even if he knows Dimitri is perfectly capable of defending himself and others. ]

Why are you hiding?

[ Both eyes rover over Yuri's form, looking, searching, trying to see if he is hurt anywhere. See if they have a hand on him, gripping him, like to do Dimitri sometimes. He doesn't see anything. Yuri looks whole, unharried, but he can't tell for certain.

When Yuri crouches down Dimitri shies away from the light, half closing his eyes from the brightness. At the same time though he tries to lean to see around Yuri, see if they had gotten in the base- if they were nearer. His breathing seems to be coming in quicker now. ]

You can't hear them? Of course you can't hear them. Just... get in and close the door... Please, Yuri.

[ It could just be the white of the spell, but Dimitri looks pretty pale. ]

[ If Dimitri means the noises coming from outside, Yuri hears it. A little too clearly, he might add. He almost responds with that, but Dimitri asks him to join his little pretend family in the closet, and he looks so ill at ease that Yuri can't find it in himself to keep him waiting.

He's seen Dimitri pleading with his ghosts, he's seen him shatter mirrors and dent walls, but he hasn't seen him quite this shaken before. ]

...Alright, I'll join you.

[ He says as much quietly, taking care to step around Dimitri and Sasha. Once he's inside, he pulls the door shut and cautiously sinks down to sit beside them. ]

So this is because of the noise outside?

[ Yuri's calm demeanor is so startlingly at odds with the situation which Dimitri finds them in its a little jarring. Ultimately he's just relieved the other man is safe and accounted for now. Dimitri leans his head against the back wall and tries to even out his breathing. It's blessedly quiet in their small haven and with light, to which he is slowly adjusting to, he can tell they are alone. He tilts his head to look wearily at Yuri, Sasha still cradled safely in his arms fast asleep. ]

Outside? Does this mean they haven't broken the perimeter yet?

[ Perhaps that is why Yuri is so calm... but, no, what about what he saw in the bedroom, the hall, and the nursery? The hand that had touched the back of his neck... ]

Supposedly, these houses were built to keep whatever's outside from getting in.

[ Yuri offers in explanation, seated beside Dimitri with more poise than anyone should rightly have when hunkering down in a closet. He's too accustomed to being a pretty bit of decor to require particular effort or intent on his part anymore, even if those days are well behind him. ]

I got a good look around while searching for you two, and it's just us in here.

[ He doesn't particulary like being fenced in, but whatever's out there doesn't sound particularly friendly. This is probably safest for them, until or unless they see evidence to the contrary. Right now, they're still getting their bearings in what is once again a new, bizarre form of cage. ]

[ Dimitri looks lost. ]

I see... I could have sworn...

[ Dimitri sighs while closing his eyes and tilting his head away from Yuri. Sadly too caught up in his demons to appreciate the grace of his 'husband'. He is growing very weary of being the only one to see these ghosts. It makes him feel like he is losing his mind... Why is it only he can see the tortured souls of the dead? He's aware he is haunted by those he has slain, but he knows well enough that Yuri has killed plenty, yet he seems to get no visitors beckoning him. Screaming at him for release. To end their suffering.

After a long pause Dimitri murmurs, ]

You would think with this being a known threat they would do better to warn us.

I suspect it's because they don't have the control here that they think they do.

[ In such cases, people in power would rather not provide information. Tipping their hand could mean even less control, further destabilization, or at the very least, inconvenient questions. They can be sure those in charge here don't consider their wellbeing as the foremost priority, otherwise things wouldn't be as they are.

If they can't rely on transparency, then they can adapt to that expectation. ]

...What did you think I was going to run into though, around the house?

[ Dimitri hadn't expected a reply to his statement as it was mostly rhetorical, and perhaps bitter, but what the man says does bear merit. It reminds him of the church and how they had hid information. He hums in agreement and lets the quiet sit while he further masters his breathing. Yuri's presence is grounding.

At least until he breaks that quiet. Dimitri is actively avoiding Yuri's gaze now, both eyes pointed in the opposite corner of the closet. He inhales slow and exhales a long weary sigh. Clearly this is not something he enjoys talking about, and he takes his time in responding. There isn't any easy way to say it. ]

... The dead.

[ He takes another slow inhale and closes his eyes. He isn't saying anything else without prodding. ]

[ Yuri considers that reply, allowing silence to settle between them. It's clear that either Dimitri was reluctant to give that answer or he anticipates a certain kind of response from him. Which it is, Yuri couldn't say, but he turns his gaze to the door instead of watching him.

It's a sensitive subject, he understands. The times he'd observed Dimitri talking to the air, no one else had been around. Even so, it's necessary to understand it now, he thinks, and they've little to do but talk here. ]

So do your dead normally sound like this?

[ He still keeps his line of sight on the door, if only for Dimitri's sake. ]

[ The breath shudders lightly on the exhale. He knows Yuri said the house was clear, but if he could never see them from the start, would he now? Which means they're likely still out there. Waiting. His headache is pounding and he does not want to be having this conversation with Yuri. He does not want to have this conversation with anyone, much less Yuri. But just when Dimitri has figured Yuri has written him off as insane the man speaks. He seems to be using a more neutral tone from what Dimitri can tell, not holding any expected barbs or denials, but rather... curiosity? Is he, what? Trying to understand?

It's in moments like this where Dimitri wishes he could thud his head against the wall, but knows better than to do that, not wanting to damage their home more so than he already does. He swallows and attempts to loosen his jaw. It feels like the words are being dragged out of him by a hook, but the man deserves answers, does he not? Sitting here with him. Still with him despite knowing he is a monster. Better to know the type of beast you are with incase you need to slay it. ]

... Not all, but some... Those least close to me... Although, sometimes they are louder, more clear.

Edited (tense) 2024-08-07 20:40 (UTC)

[ Dimitri's unease with the subject is palpable. Yuri would have to be blind not to see it, between his body language and the way his words come with a certain stubborn reluctance. But Dimitri tries, and Yuri listens. These noises are something he hears outside of these conditions. It's difficult to fathom, yet it would explain what he's observed and heard in the past. ]

That'd be difficult to contend with.

[ An observation of the obvious, something that needn't be said. He shifts where he sits, settling more properly where he is, expecting they may be here for a while. ]

What do they tend to want, when they get loud?

[ Was it difficult to contend with? He was so used to it by now... Just not here, like this, in such a force as if a howling gale. As if every last one of them came out to collect him. Drag him under... But no, these days they were constant companions. Always waiting the corners and shadows, waiting for him to slip up.

What's odd is hearing Yuri shift not to leave, but to get comfortable. Dimitri is too used to people leaving he isn't sure what to do when they stay. Surprising him further Yuri asks yet another question. Dimitri bows his head a little then slowly turns to face the closet door once more. His peripheral is taken up by Yuri now and it doesn't look like he is ready to bolt yet. Breathing is starting to feel like bone weary exhaustion. In the ghostly white light Dimitri himself almost looks dead. ]

...Me. [ He closes his eyes again bowing his head further. ] ...To end their suffering... by any means necessary. [ His arms tremble once, but his eyes open and he looks at the babe, forcing his arms to remain still. ] Father, step mother... the knights... All that died that day, they scream out for vengeance. They are in such agony, continuing on in an eternity of pain... They do not think me capable, they question my resolve, but I have told them I will remain resolute, I will... I need to... ...And the others, the countless I have slaughtered, they want me dead. They want to tear me limb from limb until all that remains of me is under their fingernails. Until I am nothing but rot. A debt is owed and they mean to collect...

[ As disjointed as his speech is it begins coming out faster and faster towards the end. His gaze isn't here, he isn't looking in the now, but instead at the past. All the times he's seen their arms reaching out for him. Every time he has felt something try to clutch at him. Dimitri's breathing is following the momentum of his words, picking up speed and remaining shallow. ]

[ Yuri takes in the words without apparent judgement. He knows what it's like to be one of the few who remain. In the aftermath of the plague, his village's population had been decimated, leaving him one of the very few children who survived. Watching people waste away as illness ravages them is a different sort of horror than slaughter is, but the questions a survivor is left with are similar.

Why me?

Why did I survive when so many others didn't?

Was I worthy of being saved?

He'd been left with these questions, but for him, the answer was different from Dimitri's. His losses were far less personal than Dimitri's, less of an open wound. Even so, he knew he had been saved, and he'd decided then that he'd save someone else in turn. Dimitri's survivor's guilt is Yuri's survivor's resolve.

Somehow, he doubts trying to articulate these things would be beneficial in the moment. Dimitri seems so distant, as though something is steadily pulling him down and away from a world that doesn't want to see him go. How does someone tether a man to life when he's so mired in death?

Yuri hesitates at first, lifting a hand, aborting the motion, and trying again. It's on the second attempt that he follows through, a gentle hand finding its roost in golden hair between the back of Dimitri's head and his neck. The touch is a light one, easily shrugged off, yet it's there.

His mother had always said there was no substitute for a warm touch. Yuri thinks himself a cold man, holding himself apart from others the way he always does, but he's the one who's here, right now. ]

Well, those dead men can't have you.

[ He says it as though it's just that simple. Like he's decided, and therefore it shall be. ]

Edited 2024-08-08 04:33 (UTC)

[ Shoulders jumping, his whole body jolts at the touch. It feels warm... Dimitri blinks a couple of times then lets out a held breath turning his head slowly to look at Yuri. He isn't sure what to make of the gesture, the touch. He hasn't- No one has- People don't touch him. They just don't and they haven't in a long time. His eyes flutter a few more times before he shuts them a moment. Are they beginning to water? That idea is unacceptable.

Dimitri flicks open his eyes and has a small frown on his face. He isn't certain what expression he was making before, which is a little concerning. He hopes it wasn't too pathetic; he is undeserving of comfort, but cannot bring himself to pull away from the other's hand. Dimitri swallows, preparing himself to speak. He wishes Yuri's words could be true and yet... And yet, ]

A debt is owed, and the bill always comes due at the end.

[ That's the way Dimitri looks at it then. Yuri considers this, remaining quite still. He'd obviously been startled when Yuri laid a hand on him, but it doesn't appear to be something he's repelled by. Maybe it helps, even, if his mother's reasoning holds. ]

You can do good in the world, as the one who's still here.

[ It's what has always propelled Yuri forward and allowed him to get past ruminating over what may have been. As the one who survives, he has a responsibility to the fallen. He has to see things through, to create the future that they'd fought for. There was a time when he came to believe that the best he could do was look out for his people, those who remained, but a conversation with a certain king renewed his hopes.

He's decided he'll do it, and though it's no simple matter, that decision has to come first. The rest will come with time and work, and almost assuredly after Dimitri has settled matters for his loved ones. ]

People fight wars thinking they're going to make some better world, and you're someone who actually can do that. Hell, I'm trying to, and I'm lord of nothing but the underground.

Edited 2024-08-09 00:35 (UTC)

[ Normally he would be ready to argue against Yuri's assertion, but he is tired. So very tired. Dimitri closes his eyes at the words as if that can block them out. Yuri's hand is still there and now that his eyes are shut the feeling of it intensifies. It's so warm he finds himself leaning into it.

How? How could someone as stained as Yuri still remain so bright? Dimitri does not know how to get to the place Yuri is to see what the other man is seeing. He feels so lost, steeped in blood as he is. Undeserving and cruel, Dimitri has tried to harden his heart, but in truth he is afraid that Rodrigue may be right. That his family's fears are well founded. That he may one day lose his strength and composure to follow through with this bloody path...

No matter how many hardships he faces he must endure. Dimitri's eyes look upon Yuri once more, he needs to make him understand. Perhaps if he did he would know better than to extend such comfort and instill such faith. ]

Yuri, you think me a good man... and maybe once I was, but that person is gone. That Dimitri died. I am just... a killer. A disgusting monster. These hands are not capable of such change anymore- they are only good for wicked deeds.

[ He drops his eyes down, as if to examine his hands, but instead they fall to Sasha. Quiet and asleep, knowing nothing of the turmoil roiling within him. Such innocence marred by his touch. ]

[ Sasha is proof that Dimitri can do more than break things or inflict harm, Yuri wants to say. They've been saddled with a child that somehow resembles them both, and Dimitri has handled that baby with the utmost care and protection. Surely on some rational level, he must see that for himself.

But it has only been a day, and Dimitri's liable to balk at that argument. Yuri will save it for another time, because if they're here long enough, it will be undeniable. Reasoning with this kind of thinking takes thought and care, he knows. That's why, instead, he asks a question. ]

Do you think I'm a good man, Dimitri?

[ There's a point he means to make here. Yuri knows they both know the answer to this question, one his criminal exploits have absolutely earned. Whatever Ashe tells him about how he's better than his actions, his actions are his. Even so, he knows he can do good for others, simply because he has. ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 1 of 7

{ Closed || Playing House }

☾ First Night || I will be your scarecrow

cw: ghosts, haunting, hallucinations, poor mental health

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject