[ he would like to say that he could keep someone safe. he would be gratified if that person was dean, and the people who dean cares for. he doesn't know how much use he'll be. he feels he's already failed one apocalypse. and now he has another to contend with, which is much broader, and it's threatening even the saved world that dean hails from.
it just isn't fair.
but what is?
castiel gives into his own weakness, for a moment, and tightens his arms around dean's body, presses his face hard into the flat of his shoulder. when he breathes in he can taste and smell the scent of dean pulled from the fabric of his clothes, the cells of his skin. he likes that familiarity. like the back seat of dean's car, or the feel of a knife in his hand.
it calms him.
it might shock dean — but castiel will be the one to fall asleep first. ]
no subject
it just isn't fair.
but what is?
castiel gives into his own weakness, for a moment, and tightens his arms around dean's body, presses his face hard into the flat of his shoulder. when he breathes in he can taste and smell the scent of dean pulled from the fabric of his clothes, the cells of his skin. he likes that familiarity. like the back seat of dean's car, or the feel of a knife in his hand.
it calms him.
it might shock dean — but castiel will be the one to fall asleep first. ]