[ there's a weight to the words, deliberate in their spacing and pronunciation. it's a challenge, perhaps. like he expects barnabas will contest this. castiel is the only angel who rebelled, after all, and he's still left to pause over his own reasons. he's always held a regard for humanity. they're his father's creations. but it's a regard that he recognizes now was not held by the majority of his peers. most importantly, his superiors, who looked down their noses at him for his faith. uriel's bitterness, zachariah's venom, michael's apathy. no mercy in them.
god himself is as blank as barnabas. a black hole in his mind, consuming, hungry, unfillable. if only, he thinks. if only he would have answered his call for help. if only he would have bestowed upon him his light and infinite grace.
why not? why not? there's no answer that could give him peace. ]
no subject
I don't.
[ there's a weight to the words, deliberate in their spacing and pronunciation. it's a challenge, perhaps. like he expects barnabas will contest this. castiel is the only angel who rebelled, after all, and he's still left to pause over his own reasons. he's always held a regard for humanity. they're his father's creations. but it's a regard that he recognizes now was not held by the majority of his peers. most importantly, his superiors, who looked down their noses at him for his faith. uriel's bitterness, zachariah's venom, michael's apathy. no mercy in them.
god himself is as blank as barnabas. a black hole in his mind, consuming, hungry, unfillable. if only, he thinks. if only he would have answered his call for help. if only he would have bestowed upon him his light and infinite grace.
why not? why not? there's no answer that could give him peace. ]