messenger: looking down (❝ a symphony for siphonophores ❞)
castiel【 be a good little angel 】 ([personal profile] messenger) wrote in [community profile] etrayalogs 2024-12-06 08:23 pm (UTC)

[ he studies vincent. it seems a surprisingly optimistic point of view for a man like him, although it's grounded deep enough in reality to have merit regardless of one's perspective. he can't really conceptualize for himself what vincent's life would have been like before he gave all his money away and moved from the city. castiel has only ever been utterly honest, both in word and deed. he does only what he must and what he wants. he says what he thinks, often to his own detriment.

there's just no pretending with him. no shroud. no mask.

so there's no possible way he could put himself in vincent's shoes. to imagine a life where he's only ever pretending to be something he's not.

he can't even imagine what it's like to be happy. but he can imagine what it's like to be sure. and to feel confident about one's place in the world, even if that isn't how he feels anymore.

if he could give that to dean... castiel shakes his head. never mind. it's either try or don't try. ]


You're right.

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