[ castiel nods in response to what harold is saying. he understands all this, yes, but there are details he has missed, or not appreciated in the past, owing to not being in possession of mammalian neurobiology at the time. a warm hand in his own should mean nothing but it doesn't. still blank-faced, he considers harold's hand in his own, and the halloween night he laid in bed with dean, when dean had been cursed to freeze to death from the inside out. castiel had, embarrassingly, fallen asleep with his arms around his body. castiel's slowed heart rate and breathing had cued his sympathetic nervous system to trigger the sleep process, and as a result he had drooled saliva in a large dark patch on dean's t-shirt.
it was embarrassing. but it's still something he thinks about, from time to time.
he only realizes now, with harold's hand in his, that he might have been wishing for more of that experience. not a repeat of the same situation, obviously. he doesn't want anyone cursed. but a reason, an excuse to touch him.
castiel swallows around something thick in his throat. ]
I believe inhabiting a human body has had an effect on my own psychology.
[ it's said as an offhanded remark. he doesn't mean to interrupt harold, only to encourage him to go on. ]
no subject
it was embarrassing. but it's still something he thinks about, from time to time.
he only realizes now, with harold's hand in his, that he might have been wishing for more of that experience. not a repeat of the same situation, obviously. he doesn't want anyone cursed. but a reason, an excuse to touch him.
castiel swallows around something thick in his throat. ]
I believe inhabiting a human body has had an effect on my own psychology.
[ it's said as an offhanded remark. he doesn't mean to interrupt harold, only to encourage him to go on. ]