[...Ah. That was a slip. There's no point denying it, yet he doesn't immediately confirm, either. Perhaps because Castiel goes and distracts him by offering to speak first, and try to see if he can avoid Dazai having to speak at all.
The worst of it is that he doesn't even suspect Castiel of ulterior motives. Anyone else, he would. He'd weigh the costs and benefits of potentially owing someone a debt like that. Dazai would wager a significant amount that if he brought such a thing up to Castiel, he'd probably be confused. He's too straightforward and earnest ... just like Odasaku. He hates this. It feels like being mocked, having that precious person's memory turned into a cosmic joke at his expense.
Dazai has killed many people in his life, but he's never felt very much about it. Sheer unbridled rage and hatred, like so many other emotions, were too distant to reach, a mirage through a clouded mirror. And yet, in the depths of the emptiness in his heart, they've been steadily taking root as if weeds in an untended garden. He wants to tear Echo apart with his bare hands, make them suffer as extensively as possible without granting the mercy of death.]
You needn't feel obligated. [It's answered at length.] I've thought about seeing whether we could outlast this. The new mission has to be soon.
no subject
The worst of it is that he doesn't even suspect Castiel of ulterior motives. Anyone else, he would. He'd weigh the costs and benefits of potentially owing someone a debt like that. Dazai would wager a significant amount that if he brought such a thing up to Castiel, he'd probably be confused. He's too straightforward and earnest ... just like Odasaku. He hates this. It feels like being mocked, having that precious person's memory turned into a cosmic joke at his expense.
Dazai has killed many people in his life, but he's never felt very much about it. Sheer unbridled rage and hatred, like so many other emotions, were too distant to reach, a mirage through a clouded mirror. And yet, in the depths of the emptiness in his heart, they've been steadily taking root as if weeds in an untended garden. He wants to tear Echo apart with his bare hands, make them suffer as extensively as possible without granting the mercy of death.]
You needn't feel obligated. [It's answered at length.] I've thought about seeing whether we could outlast this. The new mission has to be soon.