[ He says he has no choice. Silco knows the truth, there is always a choice. He'd chosen that, the collar, the noose, instead of fighting for something. Anything. He had chosen that, over any other option. Silco was already gone then, but he'd known the depths of it, one couldn't not hear about what was happening in the Lanes from anywhere else in Zaun.
That's all Vander cared about, too. It had always been about the Lanes, preserving what they'd built together, claimed and stamped under his control. Silco had made a mess of them, corrupting it into a seedy flare of nightlife in the dark, but there had been life there, thrumming with excitable, uncontrolled energy. Desperate people looking for the next hit, or the next cult, or even a scrap of food β but how was that different than anything else?
The rest of the Zaun and the Lanes had equalized, in their own way, a simmering spread of territory divided amongst the chembarons, with Silco at their head, an iron fist to control them, and Enforcers only allowed so far, not welcome to look too close. Marcus had, for the most part, kept them out. He knew better. Silco had what he needed on him to ensure that he wouldn't falter β the information, the money, and the knowledge of his daughter. Enough that the man hadn't slipped until...
Well. He had never fully slipped, had he? That had been Jinx who did that, if the scorch marks and destruction on the bridge had been an answer.
It was different. Silco had leashed them. Vander could have too, had he twisted and bit. Just once, twice. A sign of something. Life. Anger. Cause.
No. There was a sliver of him still there, but Silco considered that the man he'd once been was dead and gone. Maybe that part of Vander had died in the Pilt too. Choked and drowned right alongside him. He'd been so focused on what he had, that he'd never thought about what to gain.
At least to Silco, who even now thinks he wouldn't have let them leash him. Even if he had gone through with the deal, there would never have been Jinx as payment. They would never have had her, but neither would he have cowered in fear of them. He would have made it work, a deal, a plant, a... something.
Vander holds him down, and confesses a truth to him. Two truths. He doesn't hate him, he says.
What could it have been but hate? Who does what he did to someone he claims was family? Tosses them aside? And doesn't take revenge on the very people that tore them apart? He blames Vander, but he blames the enforcers just as much. They had been forcing him to give up his daughter, and he doesn't see it? The fact that the enforcers had wanted nothing more than a pound of flesh for an explosion β caused by someone else's stock β ah, but we cannot have a lower house pay for all of it? Not when there are scapegoats in the undercity. ]
I don't have a choice.
[ He says, finally. Jinx decreed it. She wants it, too. He can't stop that, because Silco above all else, would always give Jinx what she wanted. ]
Let's hope you don't think to treat her like you did the rest of us who you considered family.
[ A slap in the face, a parting shot. Not just him, but betraying her memory on top of it?
I don't hate you β he says β I don't think I'll ever forgive you for what you did β he says.
He's already mutilated him for less. He mutilated him for an accident β for trying to help β how can he believe him, when evidence pointed to the contrary? He lashes out because despite it all, it still hurts to hear something like that. It hurt, too, when he said he'd never forgiven himself, as if it was his to do. It all hurt, and what does a monster do when it's hurt? It lashes out. Swipes. Cuts. Snaps at. ]
cw: murder, probably asphyxiation & eye trauma etc etc etc weeping this is horrid
That's all Vander cared about, too. It had always been about the Lanes, preserving what they'd built together, claimed and stamped under his control. Silco had made a mess of them, corrupting it into a seedy flare of nightlife in the dark, but there had been life there, thrumming with excitable, uncontrolled energy. Desperate people looking for the next hit, or the next cult, or even a scrap of food β but how was that different than anything else?
The rest of the Zaun and the Lanes had equalized, in their own way, a simmering spread of territory divided amongst the chembarons, with Silco at their head, an iron fist to control them, and Enforcers only allowed so far, not welcome to look too close. Marcus had, for the most part, kept them out. He knew better. Silco had what he needed on him to ensure that he wouldn't falter β the information, the money, and the knowledge of his daughter. Enough that the man hadn't slipped until...
Well. He had never fully slipped, had he? That had been Jinx who did that, if the scorch marks and destruction on the bridge had been an answer.
It was different. Silco had leashed them. Vander could have too, had he twisted and bit. Just once, twice. A sign of something. Life. Anger. Cause.
No. There was a sliver of him still there, but Silco considered that the man he'd once been was dead and gone. Maybe that part of Vander had died in the Pilt too. Choked and drowned right alongside him. He'd been so focused on what he had, that he'd never thought about what to gain.
At least to Silco, who even now thinks he wouldn't have let them leash him. Even if he had gone through with the deal, there would never have been Jinx as payment. They would never have had her, but neither would he have cowered in fear of them. He would have made it work, a deal, a plant, a... something.
Vander holds him down, and confesses a truth to him. Two truths. He doesn't hate him, he says.
What could it have been but hate? Who does what he did to someone he claims was family? Tosses them aside? And doesn't take revenge on the very people that tore them apart? He blames Vander, but he blames the enforcers just as much. They had been forcing him to give up his daughter, and he doesn't see it? The fact that the enforcers had wanted nothing more than a pound of flesh for an explosion β caused by someone else's stock β ah, but we cannot have a lower house pay for all of it? Not when there are scapegoats in the undercity. ]
I don't have a choice.
[ He says, finally. Jinx decreed it. She wants it, too. He can't stop that, because Silco above all else, would always give Jinx what she wanted. ]
Let's hope you don't think to treat her like you did the rest of us who you considered family.
[ A slap in the face, a parting shot. Not just him, but betraying her memory on top of it?
I don't hate you β he says β I don't think I'll ever forgive you for what you did β he says.
He's already mutilated him for less. He mutilated him for an accident β for trying to help β how can he believe him, when evidence pointed to the contrary? He lashes out because despite it all, it still hurts to hear something like that. It hurt, too, when he said he'd never forgiven himself, as if it was his to do. It all hurt, and what does a monster do when it's hurt? It lashes out. Swipes. Cuts. Snaps at. ]