[ Harold had wanted to believe that John didn't want to die, but it's not until he hears it out loud from John that he realizes how hard it was to convince himself of that. His breath comes unevenly, fraught with the intensity of his relief. John should want to live for more reasons than just that -- and Harold will encourage that however he can -- but privately, in that secret soft corner of his soul that has felt so exquisitely alone without Grace or Nathan, he craves the simplicity of knowing John didn't want to leave him. ]

I don't have a new purpose to give you, [ he confesses, throat swelling with the force of emotion. ] Not one beyond learning the truth of what's going on here, and protecting as many worlds as we can.

[ Harold's other hand joins the first, holding John's between them both. ]

But if you'll try to keep going, then so will I.

[ He'd been afraid -- so afraid, acute and cutting in a way he couldn't examine closely -- that John's death indicated he would give up, consider his mission over. The Machine telling him that he'd be dead by suicide without her (without him) has twisted over and over in his heart into something gnarled and fearful. If Harold has to go on, go forward, he doesn't want to do it without John -- and his physical existence in Etraya turns out not to be enough. ]