[ That he taught her following orders is a choice -- he'll keep that and hold it close to himself for as long as he remembers it. But...
He glances up sharply. ]
Killing the Senator wouldn't have prevented anything, [ Harold corrects, drawn in despite himself. He'd just spent so much mental effort miring himself in solving the problem of Samaritan, finally had free dialogue with the Machine for days at a time -- he feels an unusual retrospective clarity. ]
They would have found someone else, another avenue, to push their agenda. The mistakes I've made... go back farther than you know.
[ He's adamant about that, but he sounds calm, at peace with that acceptance. He's sad, he grieves so much more than just the recent deaths, but he's not distraught; he can feel the parameters of loss like mapping out the contours of a mountain with topography, marking the edges but unable to appreciate the full breadth from this vantage alone. ]
We share responsibility, it's true. [ He isn't egotistical; Harold realizes he had a greater role to play than anyone else, but it wasn't as if he was some scheming mastermind. He did always defer to individual choice, to agency. ] But for the part I played in what you suffered, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I never intended that. And I want you to know that I count you as one of my closest friends.
[ Having so many of them die on him recently has left Harold wanting, acutely, to tell those that are left what they mean to him. ]
no subject
He glances up sharply. ]
Killing the Senator wouldn't have prevented anything, [ Harold corrects, drawn in despite himself. He'd just spent so much mental effort miring himself in solving the problem of Samaritan, finally had free dialogue with the Machine for days at a time -- he feels an unusual retrospective clarity. ]
They would have found someone else, another avenue, to push their agenda. The mistakes I've made... go back farther than you know.
[ He's adamant about that, but he sounds calm, at peace with that acceptance. He's sad, he grieves so much more than just the recent deaths, but he's not distraught; he can feel the parameters of loss like mapping out the contours of a mountain with topography, marking the edges but unable to appreciate the full breadth from this vantage alone. ]
We share responsibility, it's true. [ He isn't egotistical; Harold realizes he had a greater role to play than anyone else, but it wasn't as if he was some scheming mastermind. He did always defer to individual choice, to agency. ] But for the part I played in what you suffered, I want you to know that I'm sorry. I never intended that. And I want you to know that I count you as one of my closest friends.
[ Having so many of them die on him recently has left Harold wanting, acutely, to tell those that are left what they mean to him. ]