I do. I died and realized after I woke up that I didn't actually want it to end. I wanted to keep going. I couldn't have chosen a better death and I don't regret the circumstances, but I wish it hadn't happened.

[ That's what made it hurt so much. He didn't want it to end. He didn't. He wanted to do more numbers, work with Harold and Shaw longer, be in the library or subway or wherever they would have ended up next. He told himself for so long that whatever time he got was a gift and it was always going to end this way, but it turns out he didn't actually want that. ]