[ Carver shifts, grows tense, and Harold can't interpret that but he can be compassionate toward it. ]
Sometimes it's awful, [ he says with quiet honesty, reflecting on all those they've lost. Not just to death but to Samaritan, to a cause that would eat them alive. Sometimes it hurts to keep walking like every step is treading on shattered glass. He'd love to hide -- he's given up so many times -- he's been a coward in a multitude of ways, as he keeps thinking recently. But... ]
But most of the time it feels like the only thing worth doing. There's no point in continuing on if I believe the worst of humanity is the best we're capable of. Not to me.
[ Others can have other purpose, other meaning, in their lives. Harold won't discount that. But for himself, this is the only thing that keeps him from giving up entirely and passively waiting for death: the idea that he could still do something good. ]
cw: passive suicidal ideation
Sometimes it's awful, [ he says with quiet honesty, reflecting on all those they've lost. Not just to death but to Samaritan, to a cause that would eat them alive. Sometimes it hurts to keep walking like every step is treading on shattered glass. He'd love to hide -- he's given up so many times -- he's been a coward in a multitude of ways, as he keeps thinking recently. But... ]
But most of the time it feels like the only thing worth doing. There's no point in continuing on if I believe the worst of humanity is the best we're capable of. Not to me.
[ Others can have other purpose, other meaning, in their lives. Harold won't discount that. But for himself, this is the only thing that keeps him from giving up entirely and passively waiting for death: the idea that he could still do something good. ]