"Do as I say, not as I do," is the serene response. Is he hypocritical? Maybe. But he held himself to very different standards than he held anyone ELSE to. "If it helps, I have no access to water or telekinesis either."

That would require some very specific materia crafting and he has neither the materials nor the kit with which to do so. Would he wash clothes with either if he did? ..Probably not, the way they were doing things now was just fine.

Someone may eventually reveal what washing machines and dryers do. Maybe.

At the idea of taking a turn at this weird game the camp thought was a good idea, he spends a moment licking his fingers clean before answering. There's a level of fairness he had to apply, when it's Popp. "I've only met one dog ever, I've only had ice cream once, and I tried to steal a magic book from a library."