[ Carver closes his eyes and rests his head against Bear's back. It's not what he wants to hear from Harold, he realizes distantly. Once, just once, Carver thinks he'd like to hear someone say they got it right. That they suffered and fought and came out stronger for it. That they cared for their people, their kids, and even if they made mistakes, they figured it out and made it right at the end with no equivocations.
That'd be nice, he thinks. It'd make the world simple again. Give him a rock he could steady himself against instead of just another person who tried and made mistakes and had to carry a lot of the same pain.
It hurts, he doesn't say. I'm supposed to be strong but it just fucking hurts and I can't do this anymore. That's not the sort of thing you can say, to anyone. ]
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That'd be nice, he thinks. It'd make the world simple again. Give him a rock he could steady himself against instead of just another person who tried and made mistakes and had to carry a lot of the same pain.
It hurts, he doesn't say. I'm supposed to be strong but it just fucking hurts and I can't do this anymore. That's not the sort of thing you can say, to anyone. ]
Was it worth it?
[ Please, God, let it have been worth it. ]