[ He knows this is the tipping point, that he needs to approach this with great care. He knew that already but it's reinforced by how still and quiet Carver becomes, how much he clings to Bear. Harold feels his heart rate increase with the pressure of getting this right.
It's still not a test, not to him, not for him or for Carver. There's no penalty for failure; he just wants to make one thing feel less awful for him. He wants that desperately. ]
There's more than one way to save someone, isn't there? It wasn't Andrew Benton who needed saving. Killing someone takes something from you, and Dr. Tillman, she'd only saved lives before.
John caught up to her and took that burden over. Promised her he'd take care of it.
[ It says something about the mood and the tired truthfulness with which he's telling this story that he doesn't bother with Mr. Reese, uses John. He's speaking softly, heart aching with the memories, thinking not just of what they'd done for Megan but how much it had proved to him so swiftly that he was right to also save John. To pry him from jail and push onto him a new purpose. ]
To this day, I don't know what he did with Mr. Benton. [ It should be something that makes Harold despair, makes him taught with the desire to know for certain, but he has reached absolute peace in trusting John's decisions. He's never asked and he feels no desire to ask now. ]
But he spared Dr. Tillman from having to do it. She could remember Gabrielle without thinking of that man with every breath.
[ The way killing him herself would have, made his face and his voice and his acts indelible to her, something she'd sullied herself over. Instead, he was gone, and no part of him could touch her the way it had touched Gabrielle. And Harold, of course, remembers her name as well. ]
no subject
It's still not a test, not to him, not for him or for Carver. There's no penalty for failure; he just wants to make one thing feel less awful for him. He wants that desperately. ]
There's more than one way to save someone, isn't there? It wasn't Andrew Benton who needed saving. Killing someone takes something from you, and Dr. Tillman, she'd only saved lives before.
John caught up to her and took that burden over. Promised her he'd take care of it.
[ It says something about the mood and the tired truthfulness with which he's telling this story that he doesn't bother with Mr. Reese, uses John. He's speaking softly, heart aching with the memories, thinking not just of what they'd done for Megan but how much it had proved to him so swiftly that he was right to also save John. To pry him from jail and push onto him a new purpose. ]
To this day, I don't know what he did with Mr. Benton. [ It should be something that makes Harold despair, makes him taught with the desire to know for certain, but he has reached absolute peace in trusting John's decisions. He's never asked and he feels no desire to ask now. ]
But he spared Dr. Tillman from having to do it. She could remember Gabrielle without thinking of that man with every breath.
[ The way killing him herself would have, made his face and his voice and his acts indelible to her, something she'd sullied herself over. Instead, he was gone, and no part of him could touch her the way it had touched Gabrielle. And Harold, of course, remembers her name as well. ]