[He kissed Viktor. He did that, and Viktor kissed back. Is he rushing this? Should he have said something instead? All Viktor said was that they both have feelings for each otherā he didnāt say it was romantic, or sexual, orā¦ But it has to be, doesnāt it? Unless Viktor was just going along with it because Jayce is touchy, pushy, always getting in his spaceā]
I...
I don't know?
[He thinks of how it felt so natural to crawl into Viktorās bed and sleep next to him, or when he fell asleep with his head in Viktorās lap. The low rumble of Viktorās voice when he says Jayceās name, how good he imagined it would sound forming certain other words. The way he wants to push around Viktorās hair to untangle it with his own fingers. How he would do anythingā¦ anything for him. Even things against Viktorās will, just to be able to stay by his side. Viktor even knows this now, and he still wants to be with Jayce? That canāt be right. What he confessed to wasnāt normal. Maybe Viktor doesnāt realize yet that wasnāt a one-off situation. That Jayce would do that, or similar things, again and again.]
Are you sure?
[Are you sure you want me?]
I donāt thinkā¦ I can change how I feel about you.
[Itās love; they both know this now. But it doesnāt feel the same way he loves Mel. Itās a kind of love that Jayce would make himself dizzy over; where he feels like the edges of it have grip thatās not afraid to leave clawmarks behind. Viktor should know this, before he agrees.]
no subject
I...
I don't know?
[He thinks of how it felt so natural to crawl into Viktorās bed and sleep next to him, or when he fell asleep with his head in Viktorās lap. The low rumble of Viktorās voice when he says Jayceās name, how good he imagined it would sound forming certain other words. The way he wants to push around Viktorās hair to untangle it with his own fingers. How he would do anythingā¦ anything for him. Even things against Viktorās will, just to be able to stay by his side. Viktor even knows this now, and he still wants to be with Jayce? That canāt be right. What he confessed to wasnāt normal. Maybe Viktor doesnāt realize yet that wasnāt a one-off situation. That Jayce would do that, or similar things, again and again.]
Are you sure?
[Are you sure you want me?]
I donāt thinkā¦ I can change how I feel about you.
[Itās love; they both know this now. But it doesnāt feel the same way he loves Mel. Itās a kind of love that Jayce would make himself dizzy over; where he feels like the edges of it have grip thatās not afraid to leave clawmarks behind. Viktor should know this, before he agrees.]