[Vander tipped his head up to view the stars between the darkened foliage and wondered when things had begun to change between them. It was fun and domestic and teasing and light-hearted at times, but it was also passionate, quiet, and sometimes sad between them. They didn't face much negativity in their own relationship, so perhaps he was sensitive to the subtle shifts.
Perhaps it had been selfish of him to go to Solmara, especially when so many made it clear that this counted for nothing when it came to saving their worlds. It had been selfish, and he had no doubt that he had off-loaded a lot of his negative emotions however subtle on Maria along the way. He tried to hide his grief behind the usual smile, but when he was with her every night or every day at some point, it no doubt leaked out and undermined any sense of fun that they had. And then there were... his less than stellar record for keeping out of trouble or caring very little about his own physical health.
His self-destruction was a fact he considered nothing more than a coping mechanism. It wasn't fun. It wasn't light-hearted. She filled a void to keep him from spirally, and now he wondered if she looked at him as a friend and realized how damaged he was and thought pulling away was her smartest choice. He didn't know; serious conversations with emotional substance were not their go-to.
He sighed from his nose, sliding his palm down his own bashed up leg as a reminder that yeah, this was yet another sign of how Maria potentially felt obligated to take care of him, lift him up, keep him on the straight and narrow. It wasn't fun. He wanted to protect her, to prove that not all men where like the one that she had been created for, but what a poor showing he was presenting, right?
Lost in his ruminations, he almost missed her actual reply until he felt her head against his shoulder and wound back what he had heard to consider.] I'm not him. If I ever make you feel like James did, if I ever make you feel... used, I apologize. Never, ever is it my intention to make you feel anything but appreciated and special because you are. You deserve the world and all the happiness in it, and you deserve to be cherished. [If that wasn't him, fair enough. He still wanted to be her friend and would support her to find that special person. Friendship didn't end just because someone found their person somewhere else.
He huffed an amused sound, his face still turned up towards the stars.] That's the problem with relationships of any kind. The more you get to know someone, they are often become complicated. That's part and parcel of having relationships, and that's what makes them so special, good or bad. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you as much as I should have.
[Vander couldn't say that he dealt with many people with the same social intelligence as he had. It was exciting, but often, they had the same tricks of navigation as well.] You're my best friend, Maria.
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Perhaps it had been selfish of him to go to Solmara, especially when so many made it clear that this counted for nothing when it came to saving their worlds. It had been selfish, and he had no doubt that he had off-loaded a lot of his negative emotions however subtle on Maria along the way. He tried to hide his grief behind the usual smile, but when he was with her every night or every day at some point, it no doubt leaked out and undermined any sense of fun that they had. And then there were... his less than stellar record for keeping out of trouble or caring very little about his own physical health.
His self-destruction was a fact he considered nothing more than a coping mechanism. It wasn't fun. It wasn't light-hearted. She filled a void to keep him from spirally, and now he wondered if she looked at him as a friend and realized how damaged he was and thought pulling away was her smartest choice. He didn't know; serious conversations with emotional substance were not their go-to.
He sighed from his nose, sliding his palm down his own bashed up leg as a reminder that yeah, this was yet another sign of how Maria potentially felt obligated to take care of him, lift him up, keep him on the straight and narrow. It wasn't fun. He wanted to protect her, to prove that not all men where like the one that she had been created for, but what a poor showing he was presenting, right?
Lost in his ruminations, he almost missed her actual reply until he felt her head against his shoulder and wound back what he had heard to consider.] I'm not him. If I ever make you feel like James did, if I ever make you feel... used, I apologize. Never, ever is it my intention to make you feel anything but appreciated and special because you are. You deserve the world and all the happiness in it, and you deserve to be cherished. [If that wasn't him, fair enough. He still wanted to be her friend and would support her to find that special person. Friendship didn't end just because someone found their person somewhere else.
He huffed an amused sound, his face still turned up towards the stars.] That's the problem with relationships of any kind. The more you get to know someone, they are often become complicated. That's part and parcel of having relationships, and that's what makes them so special, good or bad. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you as much as I should have.
[Vander couldn't say that he dealt with many people with the same social intelligence as he had. It was exciting, but often, they had the same tricks of navigation as well.] You're my best friend, Maria.