[From the onset of their relationship, she had comforted her at his one of his lowest points, joked and helped him to stand again. He liked to think that he had provided a similar function on their second meeting when she had divulged her cough. They had started on the path of wanting to see more of each other and rather than just say it, they played the game of making excuses. She was the only one, and he liked it. Something to look forward to. Then they had seen what they both were, what they would become and he thought that was the moment everything changed.
Suddenly there was stakes layered in their understanding of one another. She had moved in shortly after that, finding solace in united realizations of one another. It was a fact that he suspected she might be one of the few to understand. They still had fun, but the close proximity let them in on each other: her need to comfort and lift people up as part of her purpose. His slow descend to grief which he hid behind a mask and a protectiveness. She protected him from the worst aspects of himself; he liked to think he protected her from the trauma of James as much as he was able.
The fact was that she was the person he had grown closest to and the sheer idea that she was waiting for him to show her the door when all he wanted to do was pull her closer hit hard. It wasn't healthy to cling harder to her because they had their own social circles beyond each other, and perhaps in those, they could find their comforts as well.
This right here was why they couldn't date; he'd drag her to the abyss and she deserved better than that. She deserved better than what he could provide. If he pulled her down, he'd be no better than James in the end. It just might look different, but the result would likely be the same. She'd be another Felicia, a victim who deserved so much better than the world had provided her.
He leaned into her arms around him, even if it was comical given how wide he was. He moved to rest his temple against the top of her.] I like that you've learned to cook, that I could teach out the basics. It never sounded like you were provided the opportunities that you deserved because of your circumstance, and Etraya can be that place where it is home. I want that for you because feeling like you have a home is important. Not just a place but the people in it that lift you up.
[He huffed a laugh but there was little humor in it. He turned his head so he could keep her crown affectionately.] I've seen what you become. You've seen what I become. Do you honestly believe that I could not like you anymore? I'm not going to stop you from running if that's what makes you feel safe and protected, and even if you do, I'll be your friend. Living together or apart, we are still friends.
[He sighed from his nose.] I like that you claim to be a lot and yet you're the one living with a guy that beats a bag in the middle of the night because he can't get his shit together. If anything, I should be scared you'll throw hands and run from this level of insanity I hide behind a smile.
[He shifted his leg back in, shaking his head against her own.] So much for a fun carefree date in the forest, huh? We're a bit of a mess, Maria. [Bit being the downplay here.]
no subject
Suddenly there was stakes layered in their understanding of one another. She had moved in shortly after that, finding solace in united realizations of one another. It was a fact that he suspected she might be one of the few to understand. They still had fun, but the close proximity let them in on each other: her need to comfort and lift people up as part of her purpose. His slow descend to grief which he hid behind a mask and a protectiveness. She protected him from the worst aspects of himself; he liked to think he protected her from the trauma of James as much as he was able.
The fact was that she was the person he had grown closest to and the sheer idea that she was waiting for him to show her the door when all he wanted to do was pull her closer hit hard. It wasn't healthy to cling harder to her because they had their own social circles beyond each other, and perhaps in those, they could find their comforts as well.
This right here was why they couldn't date; he'd drag her to the abyss and she deserved better than that. She deserved better than what he could provide. If he pulled her down, he'd be no better than James in the end. It just might look different, but the result would likely be the same. She'd be another Felicia, a victim who deserved so much better than the world had provided her.
He leaned into her arms around him, even if it was comical given how wide he was. He moved to rest his temple against the top of her.] I like that you've learned to cook, that I could teach out the basics. It never sounded like you were provided the opportunities that you deserved because of your circumstance, and Etraya can be that place where it is home. I want that for you because feeling like you have a home is important. Not just a place but the people in it that lift you up.
[He huffed a laugh but there was little humor in it. He turned his head so he could keep her crown affectionately.] I've seen what you become. You've seen what I become. Do you honestly believe that I could not like you anymore? I'm not going to stop you from running if that's what makes you feel safe and protected, and even if you do, I'll be your friend. Living together or apart, we are still friends.
[He sighed from his nose.] I like that you claim to be a lot and yet you're the one living with a guy that beats a bag in the middle of the night because he can't get his shit together. If anything, I should be scared you'll throw hands and run from this level of insanity I hide behind a smile.
[He shifted his leg back in, shaking his head against her own.] So much for a fun carefree date in the forest, huh? We're a bit of a mess, Maria. [Bit being the downplay here.]