etrayalogs | [ closed ] you see a man

On the contrary, you don't have to accept anything, but they have a right to feel as they do based on their impressions of you. [The corner of his lip rose in a faint smile at the look that Vincent's expression took on.] Is that so? You honestly are a numbers guy while doubling as a man of faith.

[Vander was not at all irritated by Vincent. This remained some polite company compared to the sort that wandered in his door, and if anything, the noisy eating actually more reminded him of home. He did miss it honestly, and to that, he did take a small sip from his whiskey bottle before resting it on his thigh as he continued to watch Vincent across the table from him.

Those names sounded very arbitrary, and he did wonder if the other man was pulling his leg. Vincent didn't seem like a man who had an actual sense of humor thus far, but perhaps it was all a carefully constructed act.] And what does Valtail look and act like? [He messed up the name pronunciation. Excuse him.] It does sound like the realm of gods is more cluttered than you first led me to believe.

[It wasn't different, but he did value someone that could just let such emotion go. For him, he pushed it down. Way down, and then he had to hope he found a different outlet for it otherwise it might explode out of him.] Interesting. That's a rarity to do, especially given human nature to nurse slights.

I believe most impressions towards me are negative so -- [ His hands open as he's doing a universal gesture for "what." He can't imagine someone actually feeling sympathy for him. ] -- Yes. And yes. I thought you already understood this about me.

[ He wiggles his fingers every so often as he grabs a new chip or going to get some more dip for himself. ] Valtiel. [ He corrects, surprisingly without that much annoyance in his voice. ] He crawls along the dark and through the walls. His shape is not something the eyes can perceive and body trembles through reality. [ Flicking his wrist, he digs some more chips and grumbles, but doesn't comment further. Saying why the realm of God is so cluttered would make him sound insane. ]

Yes, well, people will find any reason to hate someone. [ He pauses to take a drink as he wonders if anyone hates him. He doesn't think that he's worth it, and so he doubts that anyone does actually hate him. ] Save for me since it's hardly worth anyone's time to hate me.

And I expect you prefer it that way in order to keep people from trying to get to know you and perhaps discover something likable about you. [Vander was once again reminded of the question "who hurt you?" when it came to his interactions with Vincent. From behind his drink, he smirked a little.] I did, yes. However, repeating observations can be a tactic to convince people to offer more.

[He considered, repeating the name several times until he had spoken it correctly. He appreciated the patience on Vincent's end for that.] That sounds like it would create quite the fright to encounter. What is Valtiel a lesser god of? [He expected there were plenty of details, but he didn't mind the evasiveness. Vincent clearly was trying to set a particular impression on him. See? Practically friendship.]

That's because we manipulate a perception of caution to 'other' others and pick out their differences as if they are dangerous. It's a survival mechanism on some level. [He was rather nonchalant about it. He was used to being hated for many reasons, and sometimes from people who had never met him in the first place.] Yet, you contend people have a negative opinion of you. That seems contrary, since negativity can lead down the path of hate easily enough.

If someone finds something likable about me, I'm going to ask what they're trying to sell. [ Vincent is self-aware of all his flaws and mannerisms. He lightly scratches his forehead as he dismisses the idea of someone liking him. The very idea makes his skin crawl. ] Oh, you want me to explain more? About numbers or religion?

[ His face scrunches up in confusion at the idea that it would be frightening to encounter him. ] It's best to consider Valtiel as a governing angel. There's nothing frightening about him. [ Involuntarily, he rests his palm against one eye, pressing his glasses against his face. He remembers the fear he felt when he came to this Etraya; he thought God had descended and awaited judgement. But that isn't Valtiel. His hand drops away. ]

It could, yes, but thankfully, I'm a pathetic man who people would find tiresome to hate. They'll come to the unfortunate realization that it's pointless to hate me. [ He flicks his hand to the side. ] Killing me is even more of a waste of everyone's time. It wouldn't even be enjoyable. [ And he bites a chip in half. ]

Oh you're not so bad so far. Of course, I assume from now on that you'll do your exceptional best to change my opinion. [There were some rather crusty and rude people in the undercity, and that kind of unlikeable crassness was endearing if one knew how to handle it. He had not yet suffered personal insult from Vincent yet, so that was actually a step up from a few people he had met here.] I wouldn't decline either subject, no.

[Eh, he had the sneaking suspicion that Vincent's version of 'nothing frightening' and everyone else's may be different. Of course, who was he to tell? He was used to things lurking in the dark meant to frighten.] I see. I'll take your word for it, as I highly doubt that I'll have the pleasure of his company in this place. [That left him wondering what Vincent was afraid of, if anything at all.]

You haven't met some truly spiteful people, have you? For some, the ability to hate is like a passion project they invest all of their time and energy into. [He knew at least one in the Lanes that would hate Vincent just to prove that it was possible long-term. People were contrary after all. They didn't like to be told what they couldn't do.] You're rather flippant about the idea of being killed.

No, I think just continuing to spend time with me will change your opinion. [ Vincent doesn't doubt that will be enough to alter Vander's view, if the man is not just giving him lip service as of right now. ] Well, numbers is always the easier one to talk about. [ Religion tends to get him into some deep waters. ]

It certainly is doubtful. [ He wouldn't want to invoke his presence, anyway. He just happened to be fine with existing in the same space as Valtiel. It would be sacrilegious and blasphemous to think otherwise. As he carries on with the conversation, his mind is already going through Scripture and rites -- repeating to himself how terrible it would be to not welcome Valtiel. ]

Oh, yes, I have. It's just I know how to act if it ends up being that sort of situation. [ He tilts his head and gives a smile. His final prayer finishes in his head. ] I've died months ago. What am I going to do? Mourn my death forever? [ He built a bridge and got over it. ]

That's a remarkable amount of self confidence when it comes to degrading yourself. It's too bad you don't actually control my emotions. [He was genuinely curious what it was that Vincent would do to attempt or succeed at turning his opinion. So far, there were mostly contentious potential topics but otherwise, Vincent seemed about as normal as a regular Zaunite?] So let's talk religion. I never was one for easy. [It sounded like there was an option.]

So, here we are, right? Just two guys sitting in a closed café we happened to break into for a middle-of-the-night chat. [And hopefully at no point tonight would either he nor Vincent be visited by any otherworldly entity. It would definitely disrupt the vibe that they currently had at the very least.]

And how is that? [He was delighted to hear that Vincent was nonplussed by such people. This man truly was interesting, if all this talk was in fact also a reality.] Hardly. I assume that you learned something from it and moved on.

[ He rests his elbows on the surface of the table and makes a ehhh noise as he doesn't know how else to respond to Vander saying Vincent doesn't control the man's emotions. Gently pushing his glasses up, he exhales a long sigh: ] All right, let's talk religion.

[ But he drops his arms soon after so he can start scooping out more of the dip and chips. Each time he eats, he wiggles his fingers. ] Isn't it cozy? Truly one of life's few pleasures that we have in life. Doing crime in a place without a society.

[ He chuckles to himself. ] Oh, you know -- whining, sniveling, bending oneself over backwards while apologizing on one's knees. [ He flicks his fingers over the dip. ] I value myself much more than whatever pride or ego I might have. If it takes debasing myself to survive, I don't see any reason why I need to hold my head up high.

[ A flicking finger toward Vander. ] You should write that down. [ And he smiles before continuing: ] I learned something I suppose. But it's mostly that it was just... unproductive to my plans to keep being upset about dying. We're alive now... what are people going to do? Hold us a funeral so we can feel better?

[ He holds his hands out to him. ] There are things to do. [ He claps his hands together, sharp, violent. ] Nothing else to do but move on.

[Vander watched Vincent, nodding his head in agreement about the topic of tonight's entertainment: religion. He knew that Vincent also had a keen interest in Kindred, which he expected he would divulge to keep the conversation one of giving between them.

He tilted his head at the introduction. Was Vincent talking about his home? There was a lot of crime, and people did relish that aspect of their freedom even if it came with its own manner of oppression. Were all worlds like that though? Rampant with crime and culture and oppression?] Are you talking about your home then? Or Etraya? Most places will create a sense of community eventually after all.

[He shrugged his shoulders; he still hadn't entirely determined his own fate even though he called himself dead. His life as he had once known it was definitely over. It was complicated.] I can't say I care much for funerals. Maybe a little monument for a small time that will fade away or be replaced in time.

[He watched Vincent.] Is that what your religion tells you to do? Move on?

I'm talking about here, of course.

[ He flicks his fingers off to the side. Some bot in the morning is going to have to clean up flecks of dip off the surface of the table and floor -- and not feel anything about it because it's a bot. ]

I'm not even sure I would like that, but -- [ Vincent flicks his fingers yet again. There isn't much that is left of what he's eating but he did enjoy it for what it was. ] It seems you aren't a bad chef, at least. So maybe they'll remember you for that, Vander. [ He's funny. ]

As I told you, death is considered a miracle. We do not fear death.

[ closed ] you see a man

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject