WHO: Expedition 33 (Gustave, Maelle, Sciel, and Verso) WHEN: post-mingle, pre-mission WHERE: the apartments WHAT: the remaining members of Expedition 33 NOTES\WARNINGS: spoilers for Acts 1&2 of Clair Obscur: Expedition 33
[The engineering texts led to some very odd dreams. At least they weren't nightmares. The memory makes her smile, though it dims at his request. She finds herself not eager to think about the time in which he was so far away from her.]
It wasn't all bad, no. But... [She shifts just enough to slip an arm through his. She wishes she had his journal still, with her carefully written accounts of all the things they saw. Words for his apprentices, because he had so diligently written in that journal himself. It had been important. In the end, the boys had been too heartbroken to read it. Maelle understood.]
It was sad. Everything new I saw... I could only think about how you would have loved to see it, too.
[ He can hear the way her voice dims; she's always worn her heart on her sleeve, just like him, in so many more ways than he thinks she even realizes. When her small hand comes sliding through the curve of his elbow to take his arm, he presses it gently, reaches across with his metal left hand — shiny and new as the day he first got it — to cover her hand with his. ]
I would have liked to have seen it all with you.
[ There's no sense in not acknowledging it. There's so much grief in all of them right now, but this is part of it: mourning a lost opportunity. The things he would have loved to see. The things she would have loved to have shared with him. He can only imagine how much it hurt for her to be reminded of him so constantly, after he'd been so brutally torn away. He remembers her saying a year on the continent with him would be better than nine in Lumière without him, but she hadn't even gotten that, had she?
He shifts, letting go of her arm but holding onto her hand, so he can turn and lean against the railing and coax her close, holding out an arm she can slide under to press herself next to him if she wants, to lean on him the way she hasn't been able to for so long. ]
I guess we'll all still be sad about it for a while, even now that we have each other again.
[ Him, Maelle, Sciel... Verso, too. He'd seen the flickers of shadow in the man's clear eyes. To have lived so long... he must be carrying mountains of grief. ]
But I'd still like to hear about it. When you're ready.
And the good news is, it looks like we'll be able to see a whole lot of new things here together. Right?
[She wonders how much Sciel has told him. If she shared how Maelle cradled his arm until she could leave it somewhere beautiful. Her other hand comes to rest atop it, thumb brushing over the metal joints, and she wonders if it's somehow still there in that clearing while also being here.
When he moves, he doesn't need to say anything for her to understand her place. Right under his arm against his side, where she can feel him breathe. It feels good to lean into him. It feels right. Quickly and quietly, she wipes away a tear that's escaped and made its way down her cheek. Nowadays she finds herself crying without even realizing it. She never thought it possible to be so incredibly happy and heartbroken at the same time.]
Yeah. [On all counts. They're together, but they both remember when they lost one another.] I do want to tell you about what I saw. Like snow. It's probably good you missed that, because I would have loved to throw some at you. It was so cold. You would have made some funny noises.
[ He hadn't wanted Maelle to come on the Expedition, almost as much as he wanted to glean every last moment he could with her. And the truth is that even if he hadn't died on that cliff, she would have lost him shortly afterward: to the Gommage, if they hadn't reached the Paintress. To the Gommage, apparently, if they had.
But there still would have been more time. A little more time.
He curves his arm around her and tucks her close to his side, letting her lean against him. He was always only meant to be support for her, he thinks. For her, for his apprentices, for his friends, for Lumière. He's never known what to do with himself if there wasn't someone around to help. ]
I wouldn't have expected anything less. Why do you think I have this scarf?
[ It isn't because he thought he'd encounter snow and that Maelle would subsequently try to shove some down his neck, but why let facts get in the way of teasing her?
But he grows more serious again in the next moment, squeezing her gently against him. ]
You will. We will. We'll see it all. And I'll be right here with you, okay?
[He's her comfort. Esquie may give wonderful hugs, but no one can compare to Gustave. Her slender arms snake around him so that she can return the embrace.]
Don't leave me again. We have too much time to make up for, now.
[Time is too precious to be upset with Verso, immortal or not. She met Gustave too late in her short life and lost him far too soon. She won't lose him ever again.]
None of this makes sense to me, not that it ever really did, but I do know I still need you.
[She's not as adult as she thought she was, when she joined the Expedition, took her life into hands. She often caught herself looking for a man that wasn't there, for his advice, his reassurance. She's too old to be coddled, but she's missed feeling so safe and secure with Gustave. She'll never tease him for being too cheesy again. She was the luckiest orphan in all of Lumiere to have a guardian that loved her without reservation.]
[ One arm curves around her shoulders, holding her close; the other settles over the arm she has snaked tight across his body. She's still so small, only sixteen years old (and now will she only ever be sixteen years old?), barely more than a child and feeling delicate and fragile in his arms even though he knows her strength, her capability. Sixteen might be as good as an adult in Lumière, but that's by necessity, not because it's enough time being a child.
...And he still can't promise to never leave her again. He'd been taken from her once, and it's possible it could happen again, no matter how hard he fights to stay by her side. He shakes his head, holding her close. ]
I do still need you. I always need you.
[ He huffs out a breath that's not quite a laugh, rueful and fond. ]
I saw you everywhere I looked when I first got here. I missed you so much.
[It's not the first time he's said it, but it hits just as hard. As nice as it is to be missed, wanted, after so much of her life going from home to home and wondering if anyone missed her, Gustave shouldn't have missed her at all. She shouldn't have had to miss him. They shouldn't have had to part, especially the way they did upon those cliffs.
She wishes she could stop thinking about it.]
I missed you more. [So there. Maelle gives him a tight squeeze, more force in it than necessary, simply because she can.] Finding you felt like a dream. It still does, I guess. Like I'm going to wake up and we're still at camp somewhere, the Monolith in the distance. Everything that's happened... none of it feels real.
[She's felt like she's been watching someone else's life since they lost him.]
[ An exaggerated breath out as Maelle squeezes him, just to be absurd. She could hold him so tight his ribs cracked and he wouldn't complain. ]
Yeah, I know what you mean. This whole place feels like a dream to me, sometimes. For a while I thought it was.
[ For a while he thought it was just his brain creating one last illusion before sputtering out into darkness, but Maelle doesn't need to know that. He's sure she's had nightmare after nightmare about what she witnessed on the cliff, about having to leave him behind. ]
...But we're together, right? So that makes it a good dream, if it is one. And if it isn't, then I guess we get a second chance.
[She knows that for a fact. There were moments of joy and levity with the others, and perhaps with Verso in particular, but her heart feels whole with Gustave beside her. For the first time in a long time, she feels like she might be okay.]
It's... it's different, no? There's no end in sight. Not one we can see, anyway. We could have forever.
[That seems to be the benefit of the after life, the next life. No Gommage. No countdown.]
[Dying of old age sounds so strange. A gift, maybe, but Maelle is quite tired of death in general. She doesn't feel dead. Nor does Gustave, warm, solid, and breathing beside her. She felt more like a corpse after his death, trudging behind the others, clutching his arm to her chest.
[Said solemnly, but there's a smile from that squeeze, at the prospect of exploration with Gustave by her side. Maybe they can make up for the time Renoir stole. Maybe they can make up for the years Maelle bounced from home to home.]
I think I'm going to ask Sciel if she wants to look at clothing soon.
[There must be so many shops. And while she's sure Gustave has other interests, she offers--]
Wow, what a face! I knew you would pass. I was only being polite and didn't want you to feel left out.
[It's a face that gets a genuine laugh out of her though, accompanied by a fond squeeze. Oh, she's missed his faces, his open expressions. She thinks it would be good for her and Sciel to spend some time together, and surely she'll want some more clothes, too.
[Maelle takes an exaggerated step forward with a laugh. Reluctant as she is to be away from him, she knows he probably needs a few moments alone. Time to think and breathe without her right under his nose. They can't be together every moment of every day. Despite the love between them, they'll go crazy. This building, this place, feels safe. Wherever Renoir is, it's not here.]
I'll count to sixty.
[It's a joke, and it's an acknowledgement. But Maelle has a pit in her stomach, regardless of what she tells herself, regardless of her easy smile. Maybe it will always be there in some shape or form. A scar left by the terror and despair she felt from losing him.
Ridiculous.
She shakes it off with a deep breath and a quick step back towards Gustave. Just to lean up on her tippy toes (with the slightest of bunny hops to reach!) and press a quick peck to his bearded cheek. That done, she turns and leaves.]
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no subject
It wasn't all bad, no. But... [She shifts just enough to slip an arm through his. She wishes she had his journal still, with her carefully written accounts of all the things they saw. Words for his apprentices, because he had so diligently written in that journal himself. It had been important. In the end, the boys had been too heartbroken to read it. Maelle understood.]
It was sad. Everything new I saw... I could only think about how you would have loved to see it, too.
[She thought of him all the time.]
no subject
I would have liked to have seen it all with you.
[ There's no sense in not acknowledging it. There's so much grief in all of them right now, but this is part of it: mourning a lost opportunity. The things he would have loved to see. The things she would have loved to have shared with him. He can only imagine how much it hurt for her to be reminded of him so constantly, after he'd been so brutally torn away. He remembers her saying a year on the continent with him would be better than nine in Lumière without him, but she hadn't even gotten that, had she?
He shifts, letting go of her arm but holding onto her hand, so he can turn and lean against the railing and coax her close, holding out an arm she can slide under to press herself next to him if she wants, to lean on him the way she hasn't been able to for so long. ]
I guess we'll all still be sad about it for a while, even now that we have each other again.
[ Him, Maelle, Sciel... Verso, too. He'd seen the flickers of shadow in the man's clear eyes. To have lived so long... he must be carrying mountains of grief. ]
But I'd still like to hear about it. When you're ready.
And the good news is, it looks like we'll be able to see a whole lot of new things here together. Right?
no subject
When he moves, he doesn't need to say anything for her to understand her place. Right under his arm against his side, where she can feel him breathe. It feels good to lean into him. It feels right. Quickly and quietly, she wipes away a tear that's escaped and made its way down her cheek. Nowadays she finds herself crying without even realizing it. She never thought it possible to be so incredibly happy and heartbroken at the same time.]
Yeah. [On all counts. They're together, but they both remember when they lost one another.] I do want to tell you about what I saw. Like snow. It's probably good you missed that, because I would have loved to throw some at you. It was so cold. You would have made some funny noises.
[Maybe it snows here.]
I want to see everything here with you, Gustave.
no subject
But there still would have been more time. A little more time.
He curves his arm around her and tucks her close to his side, letting her lean against him. He was always only meant to be support for her, he thinks. For her, for his apprentices, for his friends, for Lumière. He's never known what to do with himself if there wasn't someone around to help. ]
I wouldn't have expected anything less. Why do you think I have this scarf?
[ It isn't because he thought he'd encounter snow and that Maelle would subsequently try to shove some down his neck, but why let facts get in the way of teasing her?
But he grows more serious again in the next moment, squeezing her gently against him. ]
You will. We will. We'll see it all. And I'll be right here with you, okay?
no subject
Don't leave me again. We have too much time to make up for, now.
[Time is too precious to be upset with Verso, immortal or not. She met Gustave too late in her short life and lost him far too soon. She won't lose him ever again.]
None of this makes sense to me, not that it ever really did, but I do know I still need you.
[She's not as adult as she thought she was, when she joined the Expedition, took her life into hands. She often caught herself looking for a man that wasn't there, for his advice, his reassurance. She's too old to be coddled, but she's missed feeling so safe and secure with Gustave. She'll never tease him for being too cheesy again. She was the luckiest orphan in all of Lumiere to have a guardian that loved her without reservation.]
And I'm pretty sure you still need me.
no subject
...And he still can't promise to never leave her again. He'd been taken from her once, and it's possible it could happen again, no matter how hard he fights to stay by her side. He shakes his head, holding her close. ]
I do still need you. I always need you.
[ He huffs out a breath that's not quite a laugh, rueful and fond. ]
I saw you everywhere I looked when I first got here. I missed you so much.
no subject
She wishes she could stop thinking about it.]
I missed you more. [So there. Maelle gives him a tight squeeze, more force in it than necessary, simply because she can.] Finding you felt like a dream. It still does, I guess. Like I'm going to wake up and we're still at camp somewhere, the Monolith in the distance. Everything that's happened... none of it feels real.
[She's felt like she's been watching someone else's life since they lost him.]
no subject
[ An exaggerated breath out as Maelle squeezes him, just to be absurd. She could hold him so tight his ribs cracked and he wouldn't complain. ]
Yeah, I know what you mean. This whole place feels like a dream to me, sometimes. For a while I thought it was.
[ For a while he thought it was just his brain creating one last illusion before sputtering out into darkness, but Maelle doesn't need to know that. He's sure she's had nightmare after nightmare about what she witnessed on the cliff, about having to leave him behind. ]
...But we're together, right? So that makes it a good dream, if it is one. And if it isn't, then I guess we get a second chance.
Another life. Another future.
no subject
[She knows that for a fact. There were moments of joy and levity with the others, and perhaps with Verso in particular, but her heart feels whole with Gustave beside her. For the first time in a long time, she feels like she might be okay.]
It's... it's different, no? There's no end in sight. Not one we can see, anyway. We could have forever.
[That seems to be the benefit of the after life, the next life. No Gommage. No countdown.]
no subject
Yeah, I guess we could. If Aurora keeps us here forever, and provided you can't die of old age if you're already dead.
[ Gustave looks down at her, the way her red hair presses against his uniform. ]
Is that what you'd want? To stay here forever?
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She lifts her head to meet his gaze.]
Here. Anywhere. Wherever you are.
no subject
But Maelle is only sixteen. Even another twenty years likely feels like forever to her. ]
Maybe we'll finally be able to do some of the traveling you always wanted to do.
[ He squeezes her gently, pressing a smile into his voice. ]
Sure, there's still a Dome here, but there are lots of new places to see. New worlds, even.
no subject
[Said solemnly, but there's a smile from that squeeze, at the prospect of exploration with Gustave by her side. Maybe they can make up for the time Renoir stole. Maybe they can make up for the years Maelle bounced from home to home.]
I think I'm going to ask Sciel if she wants to look at clothing soon.
[There must be so many shops. And while she's sure Gustave has other interests, she offers--]
Wanna come with?
no subject
[ But even Maelle would be hard pressed to be bored here, he thinks, especially with these strange, unknown missions looming on the horizon.
But at her suggestion, he makes a face, shakes his head as the expression clears. ]
Uh, I think you and Sciel will have more fun without me, on that.
no subject
[It's a face that gets a genuine laugh out of her though, accompanied by a fond squeeze. Oh, she's missed his faces, his open expressions. She thinks it would be good for her and Sciel to spend some time together, and surely she'll want some more clothes, too.
Gustave can stay in the apartment.]
no subject
You can be polite? I guess it's true, we really can learn something new everyday.
[ His hand goes to her shoulder, squeezing gently before he gives her a little nudge. ]
You should go back inside. I'll be there in a minute, okay?
no subject
I'll count to sixty.
[It's a joke, and it's an acknowledgement. But Maelle has a pit in her stomach, regardless of what she tells herself, regardless of her easy smile. Maybe it will always be there in some shape or form. A scar left by the terror and despair she felt from losing him.
Ridiculous.
She shakes it off with a deep breath and a quick step back towards Gustave. Just to lean up on her tippy toes (with the slightest of bunny hops to reach!) and press a quick peck to his bearded cheek. That done, she turns and leaves.]