etrayalogs | closed — all these nightmares I once had as a child

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closed — all these nightmares I once had as a child

WHO: Heather Mason + Henry Townshend
WHEN: 07/14 - Afternoon
WHERE: Robin Deli
WHAT: Discussing his person, Claudia, and other Silent Hill troubles
NOTES\WARNINGS: Major spoilers for Silent Hill 3 (potentially 4) within

( there was a strong level of self-restraint heather had to show when texting henry because while she had succeeded in quelling her anger towards claudia since her arrival, every time she thought about that woman or even mentioned her, the rage came boiling back to the surface, threatening to spill over. he knew more about her story than anyone else here but he didn't know that the woman who was here who murdered her father was the very same claudia he had spoken so kindly about.

as she waited in the deli, preparing them both sandwiches, she went extra hard with her knife, leaving cuts within the cutting boards underneath that were never there before. each slice was a new mark of her anger, each vegetable chopped was furiously cut up but surprisingly, in her rage, came forth probably the best set of italian sandwiches she had ever made. surpassing even the recipes in her books, she truly made something quite refined and delicious.

it surprised even her, but soon as henry came through the door, she placed her knife down and looked onwards. it took her a moment but she forced a smile and lifted her head up. )

Henry, hey.

( he was someone special to heather at this point, a warm presence and while she was still severely concerned for him, she knew why he behaved the way he did. it was a miracle she wasn't in a similar position. once he finally came closer she decided though that instead of focusing on checking up on him, she needed to tell him exactly what claudia did and who she was. )

Thanks for coming, I feel like we haven't spoken in a little bit. I missed you, though I do see you everyday I walk by your apartment....

you sure uh....sit there a lot don't you?

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[ Could the Claudia I met be the same Claudia that Heather was telling me about? Henry wonders that as he heads out of his doorless apartment to where the deli is. But she seems so different than what Heather told me.

The woman he met at camp seemed to be concerned about him. He didn't sense any malicious intention or insanity. She seemed a little lost, too, but he isn't sure if he's the right person to make that observation.

His steps start out slow as he walks down the sidewalk, but he soon picks them up. It's more of a sensation -- a feeling -- that he should run. So he runs. He runs the whole way to Robin Deli. He can hear how his breath sounds; feels how his chest hurts; but he only stops when he's outside the door. Huffing, panting; everything veiled in red for a few seconds.

Sweat runs down the back of his neck, down his face, staining around his teeshirt and collar. Why did he run? He just felt -- he felt like he should get to Heather and make sure that she's also okay. It's just a feeling; he doesn't know. Maybe he is wrong. He wipes his face with his sleeve, and cleans himself up as best he can.

That was odd.

A casual comment to himself before he enters. ]

Hello. [ He huffs out the reply, but still has the dreamy tone. ] You don't have to thank me. But thank you for wanting to spend time. [ He nods a little. ] I missed you, as well. I feel like I miss people a lot, but I'll get better about talking to them.

[ He blinks and nods. Oh right -- he should exit past the doorway. So, he does and starts walking toward her. A few steps closer as he looks around where he should actually go and stand or sit. ]

It's nice. Nothing changes in the room. [ His answer about just sitting in his apartment a lot. ]

I told you so.

( truly it's the only response heather could give to him, placing a hand on her hip with a bit of a sassy attitude. it doesn't last for very long though because they're here to discuss something serious and while she didn't want to frighten henry, she also didn't want him thinking claudia was a good person. truthfully she wasn't sure what she wanted to accomplish with this but that was the main objective—

to ensure that the narrative wasn't changed from what she knew.

for now though as she watched him, she held her hand out for him to wait [immediately sensing he was just kinda standing there waiting for direction] before she pulled her gloves off her hands and tossed them into the bin. she picked up the plates of sandwiches and held henry's out to him. it was a large muffuletta with ham, pepperoni, provolone cheese, olives, peppers, and chips crushed into it, and a deli pickle on the side for him. )

How about we go upstairs into my office to eat and talk? I have a lot I want to tell you about....Silent Hill and that cult. It involves Claudia.

[ He takes the plate from her. His gaze drops down, not quite robotic but slow and deliberate, he glances over everything that she's prepared for him. A little smile comes and goes on his face.

Henry lifts his head back up. His eyes widen slightly before it returns to the usual neutral look that he has. He opens his mouth to say something but stops. His chin dips down instead. ]

Okay. [ His fingers curl around the plate. ]

( the mood in the room shifted so naturally yet so painfully it almost made heather regret calling him up. it wasn't her duty to truly spare or protect him from heavier things when he was the older one here, but even she couldn't help but feel that natural urge to protect those she cared about. still she was never one to ruminate on her decisions, to regret them. it was pointless when life went on whether or not one was filled with regret.

so she grabbed her plate, eyes looking down at the food before she began to move from behind the deli counter and out into the front. she waved her hand to guide him towards a set of stairs near the entrance and as they went up, she wondered how he'd handle the news. she had provided him great support before, surely he could handle this information.

he knew her far better than most people here with the few exceptions being maria and vincent. still he deserved to know the truth, after all she had told maria that silent hill becoming the way it was, was partially due to her— well a version of her, alessa. while henry hadn't been drawn to silent hill, those holes and walter were most certainly a result of it.

once they made their way in, she sat down on a brown leather chair and leaned back, placing her plate to the side for now. she wasn't the best at eating and talking unless she was in a good mood and her mood had soured for now. )

Henry did I tell you that all of this started when I went to the mall one day? I fell asleep in that fast food place, Happy Burger and I walked out, called my dad and that was the last time I ever spoke to him.

[ While he can't be said to have the best sense when it comes to people, he does try to watch them - and try to guess how they're feeling. Emphasis on try. He can sense more than know that the mood has shifted from the bright greetings; he isn't sure how to bring it back but wonders if that's right to do.

Heather seems like she's going to share something very personal -- he should follow her lead on how she wants to say it? Maybe? He tries to think of all the ways he could tell her that he doesn't really feel owed any explanation for anything. Even his own situation.

It's something that he became aware of with all the notes that he acquired. He could get all the information about anything, but it wouldn't necessarily mean he'll be saved. It'd give him context, but what did it matter of people still died? If he couldn't help them?

His fingers tighten around the plate as he follows after her.

When they reach the room, he locates his own chair to sit down. Lightly poking the top of the sandwich, he's once more in the situation of not sure when he should eat and when he shouldn't. But she put the effort in -- so he should, too. Which means he does lift it up to takes bites out of it as she talks, chewing quietly, not sure if he's tasting anything as his worry for Heather mounts.

He swallows what is in his mouth, sets the sandwich back down. ]

No. I don't think you did. [ A slight pause. ] I'm sorry that was the last time you talked to him, Heather. [ A longer pause. His mind wraps in on itself on what he could do for her. He only comes up with one thing, however. ] Would you feel better about things, if you had a gun?

( while she hadn't quite gotten to the point of her story yet, she did appreciate his concern. he was getting better at things it seemed or rather maybe they just understood each other better since his own revelation to her. she leaned back on her chair, arms going up behind and over her head as she tilted her head towards him, a soft but curious expression taking her over. )

A gun?

( her words are a bit stilted, but the intrigue is there layered within. she's not sure if that was a good idea but given that she's calmed down considerably since claudia's initial arrival well it'll be alright. even if she did use it to kill her, well she decided it would be a last resort kind of thing. )

Yeah you gonna use your points to get me one? I'll take it.

( no resistance there, she'll accept anything given to her without much thought. she's sure if henry needed something from her in turn he'll just ask. they were close like that now....at least she hoped.

but in the meantime she rolled her head up and decided to continue her story. )

Anyways that's not the end, I was approached by a detective looking to talk to me about my birth. It turns out the cult found my dad and I, the one I was telling you about?

Okay.

[ His eyes glaze over for a second as he isn't sure what's a good gun for a teenager. He wonders if he could ask someone about that -- but he avoids letting his thoughts sink him deeper into somewhere else. ]

The same one from the forest. [ Setting the plate down on his lap, he does that so that he can cross his arms. It helps him think (or so he thinks). ] They were looking for Alessa. [ That poor girl. That poor boy. All those children. Why did they have to keep looking for them? He doesn't understand - but it may be that's for the best, really. ]

... oh no. [ His mouth opens; he struggles but feels like he knows the conclusion. If they found them both, found her father, that being the last time she spoke with him! ] You don't... you don't have to say it. About the part that comes next.

( she'll have to thank him more properly when the time comes at a later point, but for now she waited for him to speak, nodding her head at his statement. he was paying attention and remembered, that was good. she didn't need to explain that she was alessa, reborn as cheryl, then once again reborn as heather— he understood all that, at least it seemed like he did.

especially now given that he seemed to be catching on quite quickly to where heather was going. she stood up now, feeling a restlessness that came with remembering such a painful thing. if only she could show henry her memories like maria saw them before, or the way sophie was able to read her mind. still he could probably sense how she seemed to be walking herself through the memory again. )

Yeah....you know what happened. But what you don't know is who was responsible for it. See all those old heads in the cult were long gone by the time I was reborn as Heather, in this body you see before you. Unfortunately that didn't mean the cult was finished for, no.

( now as she spoke her voice sounded just a bit different. a bit more deeper, more ominous sounding. )

You see Henry, the children of those leaders grew up and decided to complete their task of bringing their God to life. My little Claudia.....my dear sweet sister...she grew up and became obsessed with the idea of saving humanity from suffering. She believed if she took Harry Mason, my father from this world, I'd become so angry that their God would be born because you see...

( she walked closer to henry, placing a hand over her stomach. )

They had implanted the seed of God within me so that I may birth it.

( she'd tell him soon that she no longer had god inside of her and that the claudia she was referring to was here, but for now she waited for him to truly digest this information. )

[ When she stands up, he leans back further in his chair. It's a beat that passes before he sets his plate to the side. But then he isn't sure what to do be doing with his upper body; he returns to his previous position of crossing his arms as she speaks.

His head gives a slight tilt as he hears her voice seem to change. It doesn't quite sound like Heather. Even the word choice, it doesn't quite sound like her. Why would that be? But his eyes widen as he wonders -- could that be Alessa? Heather did say that Alessa was reborn, but does that mean she is still there?

But none of that matters -- the horrifying statement that she makes has him standing up. He walks slower than what she does, however. His movements no less stilted than what they always are. Reaching out, he rests his hand over hers; his palm slightly damp from sweat and fingers trembling. ]

How? How could they do that to you?

[ The upset he feels rising in his throat isn't something he knows what to do about. ]

( she remained still as she watched him, eyes staring down at his feet as she took in every step he took. when he finally reached her and placed his hand over hers, she closed her eyes briefly and mulled over those past memories.

she hadn’t lived them technically, ignorant to the suffering alessa had gone through until more recently but as the memories flooded her mind for the first time, that rage from before felt familiar. it was like a comfortable ghost that had nestled deep within her and made residence of her life— like it belonged there. however that anger wasn’t beneficial to her so although she was right to be angry, instead her voice almost sounded peaceful when she finally spoke.

eerie surprisingly. )

Back when I was Alessa, I was born to a woman named Dahlia Gillespie. I was born with powers and when I became older that woman…she took me away and performed a ritual where I was set on fire.

It was through that magical ritual that I became planted with the seed of their God. They wanted a God born of anger and hatred to be born but the ritual failed…instead my powers, my anger…that town, Silent Hill became the way it did because it fed off of my pain.

Still…present day Claudia wanted this to happen again. So she orchestrated the death of my father to make me so angry, God would be born this time.

( it was a lot to take in, so much information and yet so little time to describe every little detail that went down. it was a condensed version of what happened but she’s sure it was all too much for henry to take in. so she looked at him directly, seeming to phase back to the heather he knew. )

I’m sorry, that was a lot to take in wasn’t it?

[ It's troubling to hear Heather talk this way. Like telling the story of herself but someone else telling it? He doesn't know how to put it into words, but he wonders just how much this is hurting her.

With his shaking hands, he rests them lightly on her shoulders. His head tilts to look at her properly through his bangs. All of that is a lot to take in, but no more than anything else that he had to read to witness as he traveled to multiple worlds. ]

... that wasn't your fault.

[ It's a second before he tries to tighten the hold on her shoulders before loosening almost immediately. Like he isn't sure how to physically comfort her. ]

The cult. Those people. They were doing a lot of rituals and things. It wasn't you that did anything.

[ He isn't sure why this is a sticking point but he feels as though it is. That's what he says over answering the question that he's been asked if this was a lot to take in. Regardless of any of that, Heather is the one who has to have all of this information. He's just ... just someone who witnessed rather than fully involved. ]

All of that... isn't something for me to ... it's much more for you than me.

( it was difficult for her to assess how much of it was truly hurting her, and how much of it was just reopening an old wound to peer into it and decipher how much damage was left from it. she had those memories of what happened to alessa, but she herself grew up normal not knowing what exactly happened— she always knew she wasn't normal, there were ghost pains and moments that drew a reaction from her but she never knew why. now she did and it was all difficult to truly decipher.

still she looked up at henry as he placed his hands on her shoulders and she did her best to stay focused on the point she was trying to get at. she wanted to hug him, cry into his chest but she held on, nodding at his words. )

You know what's funny? No one has ever actually said that to me. Thank you Henry, that helps a lot....you're right I just had the misfortune of being born to that woman. Still....That brings us to our present time.

( she closed her eyes as she rolled her head to the side, gently brushing her cheek against his hand. he truly was providing her some comfort like a real big brother would. )

Claudia found my father and I and while I was at the mall, she had sent some cult members to kill him. I went to go find her in that town, Silent Hill and successfully managed to confront her and get rid of God in my body. You know what she did next Henry?

She did something that makes me wonder if my world is even still there, our world but....given you're here...I don't think she succeeded in her goal.

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closed — all these nightmares I once had as a child

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cw: sa implications/concerns

cw: sa implications/concerns/immolation mentions

cw: sa implications/concerns/immolation mentions

cw: vague abortion mentions