Sameen Shaw (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cactusy) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
etrayalogs2025-10-03 12:21 pm
cactusy) wrote in etrayalogs2025-10-03 12:21 pm
Entry tags:
(no subject)
WHO: Sameen Shaw
WHEN: post-mission
WHERE: the Library (Alcyone's Wake), the Apartments (Alcyone's Wake), Kwik Trip (Harborport), the trolley and the streets as she shuttles from place to place looking like a hobo
WHAT: life hack. nothing's real
NOTES\WARNINGS: unreality :)
The day that the mission ends, Shaw holes up in her apartment in the library for three days.
She doesn't trust this, is the thing, and she doesn't particularly want to see the city slide back into normality (or what passes for normality here). It's not that she doesn't believe that the mission is over: it's that she fundamentally doesn't see any appreciable difference between the mission and Etraya-as-usual. Sure, one had been foggy and filled with horrors, and the other isn't. But they're both equally fake: not simulations, maybe, but not the real world, either. It's not like she hasn't always known that, but for the sake of avoiding the potential consequences of her apathy (which would be real, she's pretty sure), she's played along for the past year.
But it's harder to do that now. And when there's no mission to distract her (not that she'd done anyone much good in that last one, she thinks bitterly) and very little to quiet the voice in her head that says You could just shoot everyone, nothing would happen, who CARES, she figures it's better that she not be around people. She thinks about Bear first, wondering whether he's been picked up from doggie daycare yet. Then she thinks about other people that she knows, teammates and friends and hook-ups and acquaintances, rolling their images around in her mind. She wonders if they're relieved, happy that it's over, and getting down to the quick and easy business of moving on.
She leaves when her food runs out - she's never kept a big stockpile - but only to head to Kwik Trip, where she fills a shopping cart with cans of soup, dry pasta and rice, and other nonperishables. Instead of bagging everything, she just steals the cart, working it laboriously onto the trolley and taking it back with her. Whether on transport, in the store, or on the street, she keeps her head down and her sweatshirt hood up. She's not dirty or smelly - she's been taking showers, thank you very much; she still has her self-respect - but she's certainly not looking well. And if she sees legs approaching like someone is going to sit down next to her, she slumps in her seat and pointedly manpsreads.
Sometimes she switches it up and goes to the top-floor room she's claimed in the apartments: the one that doesn't have her name on the door, but that isn't really a secret, even though she only ever bothers to tell anyone about it if she needs a private meeting place. When she's not carrying much, she forgoes the proper entrance and instead climbs the fire escape, entering through a top-floor hallway window; she does this sometimes at the library, too.
And then she goes in, and she stays in, for as long as she can possibly manage it.
WHEN: post-mission
WHERE: the Library (Alcyone's Wake), the Apartments (Alcyone's Wake), Kwik Trip (Harborport), the trolley and the streets as she shuttles from place to place looking like a hobo
WHAT: life hack. nothing's real
NOTES\WARNINGS: unreality :)
The day that the mission ends, Shaw holes up in her apartment in the library for three days.
She doesn't trust this, is the thing, and she doesn't particularly want to see the city slide back into normality (or what passes for normality here). It's not that she doesn't believe that the mission is over: it's that she fundamentally doesn't see any appreciable difference between the mission and Etraya-as-usual. Sure, one had been foggy and filled with horrors, and the other isn't. But they're both equally fake: not simulations, maybe, but not the real world, either. It's not like she hasn't always known that, but for the sake of avoiding the potential consequences of her apathy (which would be real, she's pretty sure), she's played along for the past year.
But it's harder to do that now. And when there's no mission to distract her (not that she'd done anyone much good in that last one, she thinks bitterly) and very little to quiet the voice in her head that says You could just shoot everyone, nothing would happen, who CARES, she figures it's better that she not be around people. She thinks about Bear first, wondering whether he's been picked up from doggie daycare yet. Then she thinks about other people that she knows, teammates and friends and hook-ups and acquaintances, rolling their images around in her mind. She wonders if they're relieved, happy that it's over, and getting down to the quick and easy business of moving on.
She leaves when her food runs out - she's never kept a big stockpile - but only to head to Kwik Trip, where she fills a shopping cart with cans of soup, dry pasta and rice, and other nonperishables. Instead of bagging everything, she just steals the cart, working it laboriously onto the trolley and taking it back with her. Whether on transport, in the store, or on the street, she keeps her head down and her sweatshirt hood up. She's not dirty or smelly - she's been taking showers, thank you very much; she still has her self-respect - but she's certainly not looking well. And if she sees legs approaching like someone is going to sit down next to her, she slumps in her seat and pointedly manpsreads.
Sometimes she switches it up and goes to the top-floor room she's claimed in the apartments: the one that doesn't have her name on the door, but that isn't really a secret, even though she only ever bothers to tell anyone about it if she needs a private meeting place. When she's not carrying much, she forgoes the proper entrance and instead climbs the fire escape, entering through a top-floor hallway window; she does this sometimes at the library, too.
And then she goes in, and she stays in, for as long as she can possibly manage it.
Page 1 of 3