etrayalogs | ( closed ) bred, born, and raised to kick your ass

( it hurts. not a physical pain, but - it feels like his soul is being ripped in two, like what makes damian damian is being torn from him; the moment of weakness when he'd met goliath, the strength when he'd told his mother he was going to stay with grayson, and not come back with her. it hurts so bad and damian--he wakes up, and still feels that pain. he wants to curl up tight and take a few moments to breathe through it, to try and pull himself together.

bruce wraps around him, and damian sucks in a deep breath through his mouth. lets it out, and--shutters down. he's still wearing the mask which blocks the way his pupils have dilated, but it doesn't take long for damian to will his body to cease its fear responses.

he doesn't move from under bruce's arm, but his body tenses. his breathing evens out, the pounding heartbeat in his chest slows to something significantly less - erratic. )

I'm fine. ( his voice is even, as if he hadn't just awoken in a panic. damian's fingers have released the sheets but he hasn't pulled out of bruce's hold. ) Sorry.

( like at the funeral — like with the mayor's kid, he'd run after him. grabbed him. pulled him away from unexpected danger that had reared its ugly head. like then, everything had happened so quickly that he'd only had time to react. unlike then, however, he doesn't know whether or not he would have reached damian had he jumped in after him. everything had slipped away before he could.

the way his arm keeps hold of damian there... you would think he were terrified those hands would suddenly return and pull him under the bed. it's a sight that's somehow burned itself into his mind's eye — one he doesn't think he'll really come to forget now. he doesn't even realize the strength his hold has on the other and it's only when damian speaks that he allows himself to look down some. allows damian to pull away if he wants to. )

No. ( the word is soft, followed with: ) You don't need to be.

( sorry or fine? bruce could very well mean both in all honesty. )

Edited 2024-04-15 13:59 (UTC)

( he's small. alfred has brought up how his nutritional habits may stunt his growth, and damian had shot back a comment on how he's the perfect size to throw off his opponents. it's true: no one expects a child to be as capable as damian is. it took him time to earn the ire of gotham's rogue gallery, to make sure they knew they should fear robin just as much as they fear batman. but they're all older, used to how the adult form moves, and damian's - significantly more flexible than that. what he lacks in brute strength he makes up in other areas, a great partner to balance off of batman. he'll complain when his brothers tease him for being small, get defensive over his stature, but damian knows it's worth.

like right now, when he presses a knee against the mattress and fits himself into the small space made by bruce's arm around him. maybe a little overly still for a boy who'd just awoken in a panic, but bruce may be able to pick up on how careful his breathing pattern is. a counted three seconds in, five seconds out. one he maintains for several breaths, before he opens his mouth, )

You feel less warm. The fever must be going down.

( of course he picks it up. it's why he continues to keep that hold on damian. to reassure him that he's here. that's he's safe. that the only one reaching out for him is right here on the bed with him. just them. no one and nothing else.

his hand slowly lifts. holds the back of damian's head gently. he's not even all that aware he's doing such a thing. almost as if it simply comes to him naturally. through instinct. when he's not thinking about it. he stays like that — quiet — until damian brings up his body temperature and he blinks. a quiet look to his arm where the injury is, he notices the inflammation of the cut has gone down a bit. )

Yeah. ( again, word soft. ) Doesn't feel as heavy in my head either.

( he's fine. damian will argue it until the end of time, how fine he is. his heartrate is normal, damian wayne doesn't panic. doesn't wake up in a cold sweat, does not fall apart due to an involuntary reaction the hippocampus forces him to experience nightly. yet bruce holds onto him, and damian chooses to process the reaction as his father's need to do something. chooses, too, to accept it and lean into his hold. tips his head enough to press his cheek against his shoulder, weight leaning onto bruce.

physical contact like this is newer to damian, but he's had years of being smothered by grayson to adjust. has spent enough time under wayne manor's roof to adjust to not waking up to every movement between these walls, of having his father pick him up so he can lay damian down on his cot when he falls asleep in unideal spaces.

this is tolerable. because clearly, that's what he's doing: tolerating it, not leaning into it. damian lets the silence settle between them again for a few moments. listens to the beat of bruce's heart. )

The convenience store bag you brought contained a few deli sandwiches. ( just noting it, because - ) I'm a vegetarian.

( one of his best friends is a cow. )

Edited 2024-04-15 20:22 (UTC)

( he lets damian do whatever he needs to do. whether that be hold him, to be leaned on, or told about his vegetarian lifestyle and preference. he's not exactly seasoned with those sort of contact or a moment like this with him and... another, but. he feels he needs to do this. to be this. right here with someone who's leaning against him. someone some part of him shares blood with.

someone who, despite his capabilities, is still just a kid looking for someone to keep him safe. )

I'll keep that in mind.

( and he will. because bruce doesn't forget things once they're mentally noted. )

Father and I were following a lead into a slaughterhouse. By the time we removed the infestation from the facility, I was covered in bovine innards.

( he's telling a story, offering insight without detail. bruce doesn't need to know they had ultimately been tailing damian's mother, who had also put a bounty on his head. it's not relevant to the important bits. )

Most of them had died by then, but not all. There was one with a bat-shaped patch on her head, I named her Bat-Cow and we took her home to the Manor. She's lived there for the last few years, among others. Alfred and I ensured all the farms we source our dairy and eggs from only obtain them through ethical means.

( he just.

really loves animals. )

( he's quiet. listening. considering. )

Bat-Cow...

( it's not a judgment. not really anyways. more bruce trying to understand damian here. the name alone a reminder of how young he really is beneath that mask and cape he dons. )

I'm not sure whether or not this place takes ethical means into consideration when it comes to providing food for us. ( a beat. ) I'm not even sure where they get it all from to begin with.

I intended to test it, but between organs being delivered as gifts and the rest, I haven't had the time.

( it's not as if they have any alternative to what aurora brings in. it's starve or eat, and damian would rather not wither away while trying to defend his universe. )

It's on my to-do list. Considering they were willing to give me Goliath, I thought I would request Bat-Cow when able. Perhaps some chicks and ducklings.

( this sounds very... )

You want to start a farm here?

A few animals isn't considered a farm.

( or. well. it mostly isn't. )

If we want to be self-sufficient, we'll need to be able to feed ourselves.

( okay, maybe a farm is part of the plan. )

( he's not saying no, just... )

Do you know anything about maintaining a farm?

If Superboy could manage it, how hard could it be?

( this is clearly a reasonable comparison to make. it's not as if the kents are kryptonians or anything. )

Superboy.

( it's not even a question more... confusion. )

Do you think starting a farm, no matter the size, is something you should be focused on?

No.

( and he's - grinning against bruce's shoulder, all teeth. )

But it redirected your attention, did it not?

( ...

huff on his lips, the hand there at the back of damian's head gently ruffles his hair a bit before he's pulling away, soft sound of discomfort as he does with moving his arm and all. the inflammation may be down, but it's still relatively sore. )

I'm going to use the bathroom. You going to be ok?

Yes. I'm fine, Father.

( bruce pulls away, which is when damian pulls back, too. scrunches his nose a bit at the hand moving through his hair, because how dare you, but - it's fine. bruce will be forgiven for his transgressions. this time.

he sits back down on his chair, a little away from the bed. scoots it back further to avoid leaning onto the mattress again. )

Edited 2024-04-15 23:23 (UTC)

( closed ) bred, born, and raised to kick your ass

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