etrayalogs | (no subject)

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(no subject)

WHO: Yelena & OTA
WHEN: Backdated August; September
WHERE: Various;
WHAT: Various;
NOTES\WARNINGS: Depression/PTSD; grief/loss of a sister; themes of child soldiers/child killers, child abuse, children being separated from family;

My heart still beats, my blood's still red

Hallelujah, I'm not dead

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Yelena feels her lips twitch with amusement, "No, you are fine. I meant it- thank you." she nods a little, hoping she can pick up on the sincereity in her voice.

She glances over at her, one eyebrow arched curiously at her. The question of: Are you okay? is clearly written across her face.

"Some variation thereof," she shrugs a little. She had been a little surprised at the number of people she even felt had deserved an invitation. Even more so by the number of them that actually showed up.

She picks up on the meaning of the glance, and frowns in response. Because no she is never anything close to okay. But there's nothing immediately wrong with her, other than the extreme discomfort of being around people she doesn't quite know. That they're Yelena's friends and hopefully people she's vetted enough to trust helps a bit, but not with the overall anxiety of being aware of herself as a social outcast.

But also it's not her sister that they're mourning the loss of. Ava swallows down, and finally mumbles something she swore she wasn't going to ever bring up. "I owe your sister. Agent Romanoff. My freedom. In a way."

"What?" Confusion mixed with a little bit of surprise spills across her face like paint on a canvas. Her chest feels a little tighter in anticipation of whatever the answer to her next question might be, "What do you mean, how?"

Ava swallows roughly, there's too many other people here for this conversation. Because the answer might be simple but all the messy backstory is not.

"Can I tell you another time?"

She feels the breath leave her lungs at the question, but she understands it might be better as a private conversation and nods a little. "Yeah, sure. That's fine," her words come out a little harsh, sharp and stilted in her surprise from earlier.

"It's... more than I want you to know about me. Right now. But I wanted you to know that about her. That you're not the only one thankful for her."

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