etrayalogs | [Closed] The twilight is bruised

[ Somewhere within Dimitri's mind he knows he shouldn't be doing this. Knows Yuri wouldn't approve of the late night vigils he keeps. His ghosts love to drive the point in, but some things needed doing. Some things were simply not allowed to happen. Dimitri is determined to see to that end.

The air has been getting crisper as of late and tonight is no exception. It's not the only thing leeching warmth from the world though. No, it's the strange horrors of this place that cause the hairs to rise and breath to fog. Creatures bound in the woods. Whispers creep on the breeze. Reality seems to shift sometimes. Things there one moment, gone the next.

While he knows his presence is unwelcome Dimitri remains at Yuri's window. It's as close to Yuri's side as he lets himself be. He's been pulling away, he knows he has, and he knows he shouldn't. But Dimitri isn't sure what else to do. His moods have been becoming erratic around the edges. He can't seem to remain calm and level-headed so he keeps himself away. Patrols more. Stalks the street. Prowls the woods.

Dimitri knows Yuri is capable of defending himself. But when night descends? Well, Yuri has to sleep. Vulnerable. Too vulnerable. So, Dimitri will stay here, outside his window, and make certain his rest isn't disturbed. Ensure he is kept safe. Tragedy will not befall Yuri, he won't let it.

Yuri, who is softly sleeping in Sylvain's old bed looking angelic as he always does. Skin milky white and radiant in a way that if the moon were out it would be put to shame and moved to hide behind a cloud. His hair haloed the pillow drawing the eye in. It looked soft to Dimitri. Sometimes he wonders-

But, no. There is no time for distractions. His eye sweeps the room again, but sees nothing in the shadows. No lurking threat. Not yet. He won't relax- can't relax. Dimitri will keep him safe. There is no other choice. ]

[ Yuri has been a light sleeper for as long as he can remember. He doesn't know whether it started when he was a child, or after he'd begun a life of crime simply to survive. All he knows is that he has seldom slept deeply, or truly peacefully for that matter, and it has served him well. This has proven doubtly the case in time of war.

The sole exception may have been a curious little respite in a foreign town, pretending to be someone and something he wasn't for the sake of a mission. During his brief tenure in Etraya itself, the same may have been true for a time, simply because... Well, that wasn't important, was it? The time had passed.

On this night he wakes with the distinct sense that he's being observed. It's a pointed form of intrusion that Yuri has long been sensitive to, though when he first cracks an eye open he expects to see nothing. Surely it's just paranoia getting the better of him.

Except there's something luminous and blue sitting outside his window in the dark.

Tensing, Yuri shifts as quietly and subtly as he can, getting up and surreptitiously grabbing for a knife. He doesn't know what could be out there in the dark, but it can't possibly be good, can it? ]

[ The ground below doesn't appear to be hiding any extra shadows. No movement among the foliage. When he glances back into Yuri's room he notices the change immediately, eye going to the spot it has so frequently rested to find it empty. It feels like a Thunder spell rips though him. The bed is empty. How could- Where-?

His chest is pulled forward as he shifts and leans in to look for Yuri. The air in his windpipe stills and he rakes his eye over the room. He expects to see something taking the other man, stealing him away- or worse, an enemy bleeding him dry. Dozens of fearful theories crash over him between noticing him gone and his eye finely landing on him and- oh.

So, he's been found out. The relief is instantaneous, but he has to fight a wave of irritation as well. Dimitri could have lost Yuri in the instance where he had been looking at the ground. Careless. Useless. Typical.

Dimitri lets out a low growl and shifts from his seated position rising to stand filling the window frame. It is time to take his leave. ]

[ What Dimitri may have forgotten is that Yuri's earliest vocations were thievery and assassination. It doesn't take him long at all to soundlessly cross the room, and were the man not watching him, he could have blended right into the shadows to boot.

By the time Dimitri has decided it's time to take his leave, Yuri has closed distance. He yanks the window open, expecting to confront some form of opportunistic (if ridiculous) attacker, only to find his king looming there instead. ]

Dimitri? [ He stares owlishly up at him, only belatedly remembering he has a blade in-hand and lowering it once he does. ] What are you doing out there?

[ It's incredibly dangerous, in more ways than one. Yuri himself is one of those ways. ]

[ Once the window is pulled open Dimitri halts his movements, as slow as they are. Internally he chides himself for not moving quicker, no matter how his limbs might lightly ache from sitting in the precarious position he had been in for so long. He stands there silently as his eye lingers on the blade Yuri had raised. It is good, he thinks, that Yuri is prepared to fight even in such a scenario, although it strikes him a little foolish to lower the blade now.

His heavy gaze moves from the lowered weapon to Yuri's cherubic face. Something is amiss there, and perhaps if the moon had been out Dimitri could tell what it is, but with the way the lighting is it only looks as if there is an odd smudge on the other man's face. It makes Dimitri want to run a thumb over it. A strange desire and one that is best moved past...

The bite of wind moves through him so he braces one palm on the top of Yuri's sill. He knows he was asked a question, but that subject didn't interest him. No matter. Dimitri leans in and down towards Yuri, slow and even, still braced on the window's frame. His eye sinks to the dagger in the dark then drags back up to Yuri's face. ]

Were you going to stab me with that little blade of yours, little bird?

[ Dimitri has this way of oscillating between two distinct personas. In the end it's all him, Yuri knows. After all, he's much the same way for his own reasons. He'd be more of a liar than he ever was if he claimed otherwise. Still, sometimes he wonders whether Dimitri himself knows what he wants to exude at any given time.

There's little point in speculation though, so Yuri opts to lean into his window frame, using his arms to expand his presence despite his slight frame. He creates something of a domain for himself in that way, and incidentally leans closer to Dimitri, neither offput or intimidated. ]

If I didn't know better, I'd think you were flirting, Dimitri.

[ He exhales the words like smoke, as though he can obfuscate the fact that being observed had put him on his guard to begin with. ]

Edited (cries in typos) 2024-10-21 23:39 (UTC)

[ Dimitri has always been drawn to the tenacity of the other man. Originally it was mere admiration, but at some point it had shifted into more. It had become alluring. Yuri Leclerc is a dangerous man- the breathy words spoken rise between them like smoke signaling the fire. He's never seen the man back down from anything. It almost makes him want to see it for himself- see if he could push the man into stumbling. What does Yuri look like when put on the back foot? He wants to know- the desire is strong- it almost feels like something is pushing for him to do it. A ridiculous notion. He knows his own eyes linger on Yuri since their time in Moorecroft, as much as he fights it.

Originally he'd been there to keep a watch over Yuri- to ensure he is safe- to see to it that the other would make it to dawn's light. But, now, a darker urger has settled under his skin, nestling among the bones. To sew fear. Remind Yuri why he should keep Dimitri at arms length and not draw near. To play Yuri's game and match him pace for pace. One predator to another.

So, it's to that end that he moves. Dimitri hums a rumble in his chest that is equal parts goading growl and pleased purr. While he continues to look down at Yuri he closes further the gap between their faces- just close enough to smell the other's fire- to feel breaths mingle. He tilts his head a little- attention fully rapt on the other- as he replies lowly. ]

You wouldn't know what to do with yourself if I were.

I would't know what to do with you, at least.

[ Yuri replies easily, because in truth he can't imagine Dimitri ever directing that sort of attention his way in earnest. He's caught more than his fair share of noble eyes, but Dimitri is simply a different matter. It's a truth he has long accepted, and so he doesn't view Dimitri leaning in as indicative of genuine interest.

The man's got a sense of humor and he's played along with him before, so that's just how it is. Yuri wouldn't know what to do with anything to the contrary simply because in his mind it's an impossibility. No doubt Dimitri will have eyes for someone someday, but it'd be a cold day in Ailell before that someone is him. ]

Must be cold out there, right? [ As Yuri speaks, he turns away, strolling across the room to put his dagger away. Surely he doesn't need it with Dimitri here. ] You may as well come in.

Edited (the typo onslaught continues) 2024-10-22 03:08 (UTC)

[ Dimitri's eye narrows at the other's flippant tone. For some reason it once more conjures up the urge to bite the man. Then Yuri has the audacity to turn his back to him and saunter away. Dimitri is then of two minds: leave Yuri, either by walking the thin ledge back to him own room, or dropping to the ground below- between that and following after the man.

The prior's only appeal being it would most certainly get a rise out of Yuri were he to drop himself from so high up... But the other seemed completely unphased by his presence and he doesn't like that.

What it really boils down to, though, is that Dimitri doesn't want to leave.

So, Dimitri swings himself into Yuri's room, landing upon the wooden counter then dropping to the floor. Briefly, he imagines other students at the Garreg Mach Monastery must have slipped in and out of the dorms like this, but this flash of not-memory only serves to remind him that these halls are now empty. Normally this would draw some melancholy from Dimitri, but it instead reminds him of how isolated and unsafe Yuri is. His nerves ratchet a step at the thought.

Still, after the landing Dimitri stalks quietly after Yuri until he murmurs behind him. ]

Apparently, you invite me in... You best not do that with anyone else that lurks outside your windows.

[ Yuri really is so much smaller than him... ]

[ The pause before entering the room strikes Yuri as evidence of debate, but he doesn't comment upon it. Dimitri likely has his reasons for lurking out there. He's only relieved the man came inside. No matter how good one's balance is, that would have been one hell of a tumble to take.

The implication that Dimitri actually was flirting slips right past him as he places the sheathed weapon back under his pillow. By force of habit, Yuri keeps it there. By now, it's hardly news to Dimitri, what with them having shared a bed for a time. ]

Historically, I've been the one lurking...and not for benign reasons.

[ He'll just assume Dimitri's reasons are thus. His gaze lingers on that pillow a few moments longer before he turns to regard Dimitri once again. ]

And if it was someone with my kind of reasons, I'd have a very different reaction.

[ Dimitri's eye follows the sheathed blade to Yuri's pillow recalling it's presence in Moorecroft as well. Remembers thinking it smart and practical, but also wishing the other man hadn't needed to be in the habit.

When Yuri turns back to face Dimitri he finds him to be rather close, not even an arm's span away. It causes one to down and the other up to hold eye contact. ]

And yet you pretend to know mine? That seems a bold move.

Especially this mission and moon where reality seems to shift and the dark nights are darker still. Things aren't always as they seem here in Etraya and he doesn't like it. Moorecroft felt more honest about it's lurking horrors.

Dimitri is at war with himself. He wants to unsettle Yuri. He wants to protect him. Make him fear. Have him feel safe. Comfortable. Afraid.

He wrinkles his nose in distaste at these inner conflictions. It's making his headache worse. ]

I think if you wanted to hurt me, you've had plenty of opportunities.

[ Blunt as ever, but Yuri knows just how many chances Dimitri had if he'd wanted them. They had slept together, after all, and Dimitri is more a morning person than he is. That may not say too much, seeing as Yuri isn't one at all, but the point remains. If the man did want to harm him, lurking outside his window's an odd choice over all the times he'd been close at hand prior.

When the silence stretches on long enough, Yuri cuts into it. ]

You going to tell me why you were out there?

[ He doesn't know whether he'll get a straight answer out of Dimitri, but they surely both know the question's on his mind. How could it not be? ]

[ It is true, and hardly deniable. People change and things here seem to be warping, but Dimitri still won't let any harm befall Yuri, not if he can help it. The thoughts and debates twist and blur in his mind until Yuri slices clean through the silence. A fair demand. He shouldn't have expected the other man to simply let something like that go without an explanation, but then again most things seem to slide right off Yuri.

His eye focuses on the other man's face within the dim dark room. ]

I was [ ~~watching for enemies~~ ~~looking out for you~~ ~~keeping you safe~~ ~~you can't die, please~~ ] ...hunting.

[ Dimitri takes one more step closer into Yuri's space. Despite the shift in perspective and position within the room the light smudge still lingers on Yuri's face. He can't quite tell what it is and the urge to touch it, touch him, is rising again. Why did he step in when he should be stepping away? ]

[ Yuri hasn't failed to notice the way Dimitri closes the distance between them. In fact, he's extremely aware of it, given his penchant for maintaining a certain distance between himself and others most of the time. Still, he pretends that it isn't on his mind as much as it truly is.

This is Dimitri, after all. He doubtless doesn't mean anything by it. ]

And what sort of game do you find outside that window at night?

[ If Dimitri made that up on the spot, Yuri will know soon enough. If he means it, well, that ought to be its own kind of informative, right? ]

[ Dimitri huffs a small laugh under his breath, finding humor in the mix of Yuri's tone and imagining proper hunting on that window ledge at night. ]

Rats. [ He answers simply, and almost keeps it at that, but for some reason Dimitri tends to feel compelled to tell Yuri things, to actually be informative. Because while it's not a lie, Dimitri tends to have a different definition than the common rodent. ] ... You know, vermin. Scoundrels, dastards, and the like. I find it best to hunt them down and exterminate them before they can do more damage.

[ It being so dark means Dimitri can't get a good read on what kind of face Yuri is making. He wonders what the man is thinking... but, he supposes, that is nothing new. ]

...Outside my window. [ After a moment, he amends— ] Outside Sylvain's window, rather.

[ He strongly suspects that Sylvain would get a bit of a scare out of finding Dimitri out there, were he here. It's far from safe, not to mention, what manner of assassin would be in this world? And after Yuri, no less...

In Moorecroft, there was something lurking outside that could kill any one of them with absurd ease, but here...? Yuri frowns as he considers that, debating why Dimitri has begun to do this now. He's certain it wasn't like this before.

What's changed?

Well, maybe— ]

...You uneasy because I'm not rooming with you?

[ If Yuri could see the look on Dimitri's face it would be one easily read 'of course, where else?'. But he lets Yuri mull it over, and come to the logical conclusion that Dimitri is... keeping watch.

But that isn't quite the conclusion the other man reaches. ]

No, I am not uneasy- [ He bites out quick to deny the very real nerves he feels within his chest. ] I am merely... I am ensuring you do not, that you are not-

[ Dimitri growls, frustrated, and finally steps away from Yuri, crossing his arms in the process. ]

I am not some child who needs someone near to sleep at ease.
[ Even if he does get his best rest next to Yuri... ]

I just- I do not want you to be- [ ~~harmed~~ ~~killed~~ ~~lost~~ ]

[ Dimitri turns away. Perhaps he should have taken his chances at scaring Yuri via jumping from the sill to the ground. ]

...to haunt me. Not you too...

[ As Dimitri searches for his response, Yuri waits. He understands the man has his pride, despite his self-image being in shambles. They all do, after all, and that keeps them from losing the last and most essential pieces of themselves that they must not lose. Not if they don't want to become something else entirely.

Yuri knows full well that Dimitri isn't a child. His childhood had been forfeit all too early, much as Yuri's was, though he wasn't robbed of it the same way. He wishes Dimitri had never experienced the loss he had — a sentiment that only bites down harder on him when that final admission comes. ]

I guess I would stick around, if I went and kicked the bucket... [ He admits after brief consideration, palming the back of his neck. ] But I don't plan on letting that happen. I've got my goals.

[ He says it so easily, but he knows the weight of death, of being the one who survives, in his own way. ]

[ The admission that Yuri would stick around strikes pain into his chest. That kind of eternal suffering... No. He cannot let that happen... But something the other man says strikes a match to the pain and Dimitri can smell the smoke of nine years ago. Still burning. Charred flesh and blood seeping into earth.

His body pivots sharply back to face Yuri. ]

Goals? Goals? [ His voice raises incredulously. ] You think that is enough to keep someone alive? You think goals will keep your body moving as your head is severed from your neck? [ He laughs without humor. ] No, Yuri. No. My father's goals did him no such favor as those swine robbed him of life.

[ Screams from the past were filling his ears. ]

[ Dimitri's anxiety all but weighs down on the air itself. Yuri frowns, debating with himself, before lifting a bare hand to gently touch his cheek. Maybe that will tether him to the present, to the fact that there are people yet alive around him now. ]

You'd be surprised what that motivation has gotten me through, Dimitri. I'm not your father: I'm no honest man. I can be ruthless, as you well know.

[ And to that end, Yuri's goals are backed not just by his tenacity but by the collective experiences borne of a harsh life. He's been so many things, an assassin among them, and though he may die, it will neither be simple nor easy. The way he'd very nearly snuck up on Dimitri just now was proof of that much. ]

Whether that's enough or not, no man can say. But I'll press on believing that it is, because what's the alternative?

[ The hand on his cheek is like a bucket of ice water the way it steals his breath. Except, no, that isn't a suitable comparison at all. Cold is like the night air that bit around him as he watched from outside, separate and near at the same time. No, Yuri's hand is by far a warmer thing. Soft and comforting yet firm and solid, but no less capable of giving pause to Dimitri's lungs. Perhaps electricity is a better comparison. Dimitri has seen the way a bolt can scar a man and the warmth radiating from Yuri's palm feels like it could do similar damage to him. ]

I... [ He presses his cheek into Yuri's hand. ]

I... [ He wants to be angry. He wants to be upset. He wants to crash. He wants to burn. He wants to break apart. There are too many roiling thoughts inside of him and he doesn't know what he wants- Yuri always complicates things. Simplifies things.

When Dimitri growls in frustration, it comes out softer than he means it to, more light, a drawn-out harsh sigh more than anything. Despite it being dark in the room to begin with, he squeezes his eyes shut and raises a hand to hesitate and hover a moment before covering Yuri's own.

Dimitri had thought he had escaped the danger of being near Yuri Leclerc. The raw magnetism of the man. Is one touch all it takes to send his mind spiraling back to their time in Moorecroft where mere words caused Dimitri to flush and fumble? He hopes not. He can't... there is nothing... ]

[ Yuri watches the conflict pass over Dimitri's features like heavy grey clouds in spring. He doesn't think the pensive air about him is a bad thing, certainly not compared to the frustration that came before. Not for the first time, it impresses on him just how unaccustomed Dimitri is to touch. Each occasion seems to shock him anew.

For Yuri's part, he usually maintains his distance from others on purpose. After his childhood, he prefers the safety of it, the invisible barrier between himself and the people around him. They don't need to be that close. It's better for them and it's better for him.

That's what he's told himself for such a long time now.

Yet when Dimitri hesitantly presses a hand over his, he wonders whether he'd assumed that too readily. For Dimitri, that distance had likely never been a choice. It was forced on him just the same as far too much lurid attention had been forced on Yuri. Neither of them had gotten to choose, so the opposite becomes a luxury.

But he doesn't mind it, like this. Doesn't mind it when it's Dimitri, who isn't liable to force anything on him aside, apparently, a night guard. ]

Probably a tall order coming from me, but have a little faith. Believing the worst makes it that much harder to wrest something better out of the world.

Edited 2024-11-07 06:47 (UTC)

[Closed] The twilight is bruised

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