etrayalogs | closed ― we'll float on, good news is on the way

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closed ― we'll float on, good news is on the way

WHO: Heather Mason @ingestion + Vincent Smith @banworthy
WHEN: 12/2
WHERE: Heather's apartment
WHAT: Vincent has something to give Heather and other thoughts to share.
NOTES\WARNINGS: cw: angst, cannibalism, ingestion/abortion by proxy discussions, discussions relating to Harry Mason's murder.

( as time went on and the longer heather found herself in etraya, the more exhausted she was becoming. she hadn't quite noticed it, but the stress of what happened in silent hill and the events before that had affected her. it was the little things such as her fingers feeling numb more often then usual, the heaviness in her heart as she spoke to others, and the memories of a past life appearing before her in dreams. yet despite the gravity of what she had been through, she still tried her best to look at things with a more positive light. she had been angry for sometime about the death of her father and the way he had been viewed by members of the order, namely claudia and vincent. she hadn't quite confronted vincent about it, afraid of reliving that moment where she found him dead in his favorite chair.

yet little did she know, when vincent had called her up asking to meet with her, she would have to confront that memory all over again.

she had claimed one of the 'free' apartments at the complex, doing very little to truly make it feel home. inside all there was to make it seem like she lived there was beer in the fridge, a pack of smokes on a coffee table she 'stole' and some food scattered about. she wasn't sure how long she would be living here, or staying at etraya, so she hadn't quite committed to making it a home just yet.

when the doorbell finally rang, she came to it in her usual outfit, except she was sporting some knitwear's the bots had made for her earlier. a green and orange beanie, with a matching scarf. )

Hey Vincent....you wanted to see me about something?

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( she hadn't thought about douglas in some time and although she had been hoping he made it out alive, the moment vincent brought up the theory that he could possibly be dead, heather found herself transfixed with vincent's gaze.

a droplet of sweat dripped down the side of her temple as she began to relive everything that happened prior to her arrival here. vincent's cruel words weren't helping her feel better about any of this, and what he said about her father didn't quite stir hope in her. it just reminded her of what she had lost and how somethings could never truly be recovered no matter how hard she wished for it. it was a silly idea, and she just couldn't find herself indulging in it.

the only break offered to her by vincent was him changing the topic to claudia. he wasn't the only one who knew that side of her, and while alessa didn't get to see what she would become, she knew very well the trauma she had gone through too. )

Fine, you make a good point, but I don't think I can forgive you for letting it happen regardless. You could have sent us a warning at the very least.

( there was more she wanted to say, and truthfully she was tempted to do something to make him feel the pain she was feeling. but when she thought about it, at the very least her last words to her father were ones she would never regret. )

And don't talk about Douglas that way, he's a survivor unlike you. He's fine.

( she was bluffing here a bit, but this was the only kind of hope she could indulge in. )

And what would that warning say? The Order is coming to kill you? Your father already knew that to be true. [ He holds his hands up as he recognizes this may sound like it's her father's own fault for getting killed. While he knows there is some truth to that, he decides to placate. ] What I mean to say is that it isn't anything that he wasn't already aware of, and probably believed he could handle it.

He's been dealing with the lunatics of the Order for over a decade, after all.

[ Vincent has his own thoughts about Harry Mason, but decides to keep it close to his chest. He tried to give a little bit of criticism about him before - and he doesn't want to end up completely souring the relationship that he has with Heather. ]

But rather than argue that point, we'll just leave it to rest there, okay?

[ And he nods along at the idea that Douglas survived. ]

Sure, sure. I got it. No talking about Douglas.

( if there was one thing heather hated the most as of late, was to admit vincent was right. her father had been someone who had been deeply afraid of the state of the world, of predators, murders, and criminals hiding in plain sight. it was the reason he wrote a book about it, why he had trained heather to protect herself, and why he always had weapons around to protect himself.

for the day the order came back. while she couldn't speak on his behalf, she could only assume they had caught him off-guard or simply outnumbered him, leading to that tragic day.

for now, she finally relaxed her stance a bit, rising her hand up to brush away some sweat that had begun to gather on her forehead. this conversation was far too painful for her and while she wanted to breakdown and wallow in her sadness-

she pushed herself to keep her composure. there would be no comforting words from vincent or from anyone. he was the only one who knew the depth of her history, the only one who could understand and yet, he wasn't one who could help her with this. so she decided to ask more about his hopeful thoughts. )

Wait....there's something else I want to ask. Let's say you were able to go back in time...to that moment. What would happen to you? Do you think Claudia would just outright kill you? Or...how would you have brought her, your God to life then?

Didn't Claudia need my anger to do that?

I can't imagine I'd be left alive for long, anyway. [ He scratches the area just underneath his eye. However, it's seconds later that his hand drops; he breathes out a harsh sound. ] I didn't want Her to descend in the first place.

The doctrine clearly says that God will choose the time when She will return to Earth. [ He puts emphasis on these words because, well, it is important. ] We are to worship and venerate Her existence for our lives such is the covenant that we agreed to when She first came to being. [ He waves his hand; she doesn't want to hear scripture talk. ]

Well, look at you. You're figuring out why I want Harry Mason to live on your own. Yes, without his death, you won't have your rage and hatred. [ Vincent could have played dumb further but decides there's no benefit for it. The payout for such a risky endeavor wasn't worth anything; he only was prickly before 'cause of how the conversation was going, anyway. ] Furthermore, Harry's a lot more than what Claudia would be capable of handling regardless of what she thinks.

[ If she asks him, he knows why Harry must have lost to the cultists. It probably had nothing to do with numbers or being caught by surprise. That man? Maybe he's conflating the image of him, but he's always been a sneaky person in Vincent's mind. No, if he put it into words, it's probably because they mentioned Heather.

A moment of hesitation that his daughter was in real danger is all that's needed for lunatics to capitalize on.

Of course -- he doesn't intend to say anything on it. The two of them are getting along. It's just something in the chamber if they start to fall out of favor with one another, he supposes. Although, probably not; the topic's too dangerous to bring up given the last time he tried to speak on her father negatively. ]

( his words, ideas, and motivations are a stark contrast to someone like dahlia and claudia who wanted to bring their god to life. desperate and dissatisfied with the state of the world, they felt as if they could revolutionize things by forcing her to be born through both alessa and heather. it was interesting for heather to hear these thoughts and words because while dahlia had tried her best to instill the gospel of their religion into her, she had always resisted it.

so while she wasn't sure if what vincent was saying was something the others agreed with him on, she knew he wasn't lying. it just surprised her to hear him be so....respectable about the whole thing. it put her feelings and sense of anguish to the side for now. )

I don't know what to say....this is a lot to take in.

( his words and actions, seem to come from a place of empathy and trying to keep things balanced with her. yet there's a biting sensation in her mind that he's only saying this to manipulate her somehow. even though she didn't know him for very long, kindness wasn't something he seemed to have within him.

so to thank him or offer him any kind of gratitude for what seemed like kind words seemed wrong. )

You....you're not wrong about any of this.

( that's all she can offer him as some kind of appreciation. to let him know he was right, instead of fighting him as she always had before. )

You can ruminate and question me later, then.

[ Not that he's sure what quesitons that she would have about it, but he doesn't see any harm in offering that much to Heather.

He, of course, has another concern that she might not have but he's trying to be delicate about bring that one up. However, he's coming to realize that there is no organic way to do so; he may just have to as soon as they finish the line of thought they're on. ]

Thank you for saying so, Heather.

[ Vincent does his best not to sound too smug that she agrees that his line of thinking isn't terrible. Besides, Harry Mason has one other thing that'll keep him alive -- Heather. She'll be at his side and he feels like her love for her father will keep him alive, as well. Who knew? Everything comes back to Heather and her capabilities in the end.

Of course, he wonders how that will go. ]

Now let me get to the final concern I have... [ He makes a gesture with his hand. ] ... it's a bit much so just take a seat and settle yourself before I bring it up, okay? [ He feels he can show that much consideration. ]

( there's a bit of a sigh on heather's end as she felt the tears from before dry up on her face, that had become a bit heated from the tension of this entire situation. it seemed that when she gave vincent something to grab onto and use to make him feel better about himself, it was always twisted in a way to be used against her.

or at least this was how she felt as he thanked her and proceeded to describe something a bit more alarming to her. so for the first time without resistance or any hesitation, she moved back towards the couch. her steps were slow and heavy, treading along until she finally sat down at the edge of the couch across from him. there was some distance between the two, but she turned her body fully towards him to give him the attention he was commanding now. )

I have a feeling this is all connected somehow....to this.

( she held up the vial he had given her before, looking at it briefly before focusing back on vincent. she wasn't sure where he was going to go with this, but she had come to realize he never approached her unless he had a lot of things to discuss or get at. )

You're right. It is.

[ But he does appreciate that she listens to him when he asks for her to take a seat and calm herself. The next bit of news isn't something particularly easy to discuss, but it is something she should be aware of. Unlike before, if he keeps this close the chest, it'll cause issues with keeping these concerns quiet. ]

You have a very unique body, Heather. [ Vincent breathes out a sigh and shifts his tone to something sympathetic, understanding. ] It can house divinity. I spoke briefly with -- [ His eyes roll as he pauses. ] -- an angel and in his universe, he says that it's quite difficult to find a vessel.

[ Which means that might be a true statement across all universes, but it's not like he has the means to poll that question. ]

You have the means to give Echo a body -- you could be her vessel.

[ A beat. He rubs the back of his neck, letting out a tired sigh. ]

I'm not saying that is Echo's wish, but if these people -- [ He gestures toward the door, indicating all those outside it. ] -- figure out what you're capable of -- well, I am sure there are more than a few that would want to bring Echo here regardless of the consequences of doing so.

Edited 2024-12-14 16:00 (UTC)

( for the first time in the history of their interactions, heather remained silent and listened without interruption. she immediately knew of who he was speaking about when he mentioned the words vessel and angel. although she hadn't met him in person [yet], she had spoken to him a few times over text. while it was true it could have been anyone else, she was pretty sure it was him. the angel who claimed to have large black wings, visible to the human eye.

the thought was set to the side for now though, as she heard him continue on. with each word that he spoke, her expression became more grim and sullen, a darkness cast over her expression. there was a boiling rage inside of her that wanted to scream and yell out that this was his fault, the fault of the order. for priming and pushing her body to the point where it would become a suitable vessel but that process began long before she could even stop it, when she was alessa. born with mystic powers that dahlia saw as beneficial to being mother to their god, it was an inevitability that things would turn out this way.

additionally she had a genuine dislike and mistrust of echo and aurora all together. their almost apathetic stance on things drove her mad with how high of a sense of justice she had. so to hear vincent speak of the in an almost negative way got her to be more open to his suggestions. )

Are you sure they haven't already? Maybe they want me to go through more of these 'missions' to wear me down to the point where Echo could do that...

I don't trust them, I mean they pulled us at the worst possible time. I'm sure they know more than what they're letting on...

It's not an impossibility.

[ He doesn't want her to give any false hope. That's only when false hope would benefit him, and in this particular case, it doesn't.

Shifting how he's sitting, he pauses to reach into his pocket to pull out a notepad. And drawn on one of the pages is a seal. Holding it out to her, he continues with his explanation: ]

That angel I spoke with -- we're doing a deal with one another. He gave me this drawn symbol which you can copy to wear on you. It is supposed to ward demonic entities from possessing you. [ Did he think of making a necklace or something with it? Yes, but he ultimately decides it is up to Heather to choose how she wants to wear the seal. ] He mentioned tattooing might be best since that can't be easily removed, but I said the choice should be yours.

[ A slight pause. ] But don't feel too alone, because you're not the only person who can house divinity here. [ Which adds to his worries, but what can he do? ] Apparently, someone here known as Dean can also do the same. [ He waves his free hand. ] I'm getting him the same thing I got you since I can't trust either Aurora or Echo to leave either one of you alone.

So -- there you go. If you need to commiserate with someone, there's a name for you.

( as heather sat there and watched vincent speak and change from one topic onto the next, she remained silent. her eyes gazed onto him with a firmness, barely blinking or moving whatsoever. she had told him a while back that there were no separate entities between herself and alessa [and by extent cheryl], but in this moment a thought came into her mind that felt like a voice from the past.

'what a delicate way to tell all of this to a young girl.'

it was a thought that almost felt as if someone else was speaking to her, but at his final words, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. the action seemed to stabilize the strange instability in her mind and she felt she was finally ready to confront and accept the information that was shared to her. the voice that came forth though, had a familiar intonation vincent had once heard before. )

What time you have to converse these things with others, behind my back. It almost sounds like you need a hobby.

( idle humor, but she did appreciate the effort he had been putting in to protect his own goals and her body. )

How kind of you, finding me a friend to share my experience with. I didn't know you cared about the soul behind this body.

[ It's the familiar intonation that gives him pause. However, a vile pettiness rises in the back of his throat. ]

Others? I just spoke with that angel and everything we talked about benefited you.

[ He twists slightly on the couch to properly look at her. Before, it was half-measures as he explained what he'd done and what had been prepared for her. ]

Don't feel too inclined to do anything for me. I know that I'm on my own here.

[ Rather than address whatever care he might have, he decides to focus on another point entirely. Whenever anyone asks him if he's on his own, he admits that he is.

He doesn't say James, Maria, or Heather are from the same world as he is because it doesn't matter. If he died, none of them would do anything for him - in revenge or mourning. If he returned afterward, he couldn't imagine any of them greeting him with fondness or relief.

None of them have that kind of relationship with him. ]

Anyway, I figured it'd be isolating for you to be without anyone to understand your circumstances, so... there you go.

How truly grateful I am-

( she managed to say before he went on about not needing anything from her. the more they spoke and interacted, the more she saw him as a lost and hurt child, lashing out before anyone got too close to him. if he felt any resentment towards not being cared for or looked out for, he only had himself to blame in the end.

if he had arrived here with a new outlook on life, had drawn on the empathy heather had for him at the time, he would have found life to be more pleasant and truly worth living without the shackles of his religion on him.

however it wasn't her place to help him out of that, not unless he truly wanted to change. so to his words, all she can do is scoff and turn her gaze from him. )

So I guess even you have the capacity for empathy. Color me surprised, anyways are we done here? Anything else you want to share with me?

I know, I know --

[ His tone shifts to dismissive at her comment of gratitude.

He pushes himself up to stand as it sounds like they've said everything that needed to be said - she has everything that she needs to stay safe, as well. So long as it's on her person, no divine or demonic entity will be able to touch her. That's enough for him. ]

We're done here. [ Vincent starts to shift around so that he can move to head toward the door. But he pauses; one hand on his hip as he looks at her sitting on the couch. ] I don't hate you, you know. [ He decides to say that outright. It wouldn't be convenient if she continued to believe something that wasn't true, anyway. ] I wouldn't be doing everything I am if I did.

[ So, if she can't believe his words, she can at least believe his actions. His shoulders involuntarily bounce, a little shrug, as he moves away so that he can head back to the door where his pile of knitwear and the like await him. ]

Take care of yourself, Heather. I'm sure you have others who would be upset if something were to happen to you already.

( those words were the last nail in the coffin, tossed into a sea of confusion and uncertainty. she wasn't quite sure what to make of his words but frankly they were working in his favor. whatever hatred, blame, and bitterness she had for vincent's lack of involvement in stopping her father's murder in the first place is set to the side.

she isn't sure what to say or make of such kind words from him. he had never once said anything of this sort before in their time in silent hill but she supposed even he had the capacity to play nice sometimes. especially if it was for his benefit.

so heather rose up and began to walk towards him, preparing to close the door on him for when he was ready. yet he said those last words and she had to comment on them. )

You know....you'd also have people who would be upset if something happened to you...if you tried a little harder at being nicer. I can tell you have the capacity to change, we all do.

That's kind of you to say, but --

[ He lets the end of his sentence hang as he pulls on the rest of the knitwear that he had thrown on the floor. His face scrunches up into irritation when he feels dampness but that's his own fault for how he threw everything off in the first place.

Either way, he doesn't finish what he's saying until he's bundled back up. ]

-- I don't want to get along with people for that reason.

[ The idea of acting lovable to receive love; he doesn't want to do that, at all. Even if that isn't what she means, it equates the same for him. We can't all be reborn into a better version of ourselves. His mouth twists briefly into a smile before adding: ]

Certainly, it's a big boon to have people worry, but it's also too much of a burden to want to maintain. [ His smile widens. ] So don't worry. I'll be fine. [ The door opens and he passes through the threshold. ] See you later, Heather.

( there's a level of sadness that comes over heather as she hears those words, and she's unsure if this attitude is truly coming from a place of not wanting to use others or simply not feeling worthy of it. since when did he hesitate on such thing after all?

yet she can't bring herself to argue with him, to stop him and tell him he's wrong. what they've been through, and what happened today in her apartment just didn't lend itself to moving her in such a way. she needed some comfort herself after all of this, so all she could do was offer him a sympathetic smile as he packed up and began to walk out the door.

before she closed it though, she spoke to him one last time for now. )

Take care of yourself then, Vincent.

( the words came out colder than she intended but, that's all she could muster for now. )

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closed ― we'll float on, good news is on the way

totally fair ♥

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