December Library Catch-All [ OPEN ]

[aimsforknees]

WHO: John, Harold, and anyone who might find themselves at the Library
WHEN: December
WHERE: The Library!
WHAT: The Library is here and open to all! Come borrow books, find a comfy chair to relax in, or snoop around.
NOTES\WARNINGS: Will be added as they come up

The Library is a five-story neoclassical building of terra cotta, brick, and stone. And the inside is, in fact, a library! And rather clean and organized too. There's no dust, no muddy footprints (apart from your own), and all the shelves are organized by Dewey Decimal, subject, and author. All literature is something you might find in a 2010 New York City library: various forms of fiction, children's and teens' sections, history, science, cooking, gardening, the list goes on. There's even small sections of audiobooks on compact disks and of DVDs ranging from old classics to history shows. The first floor has a reading/study room, a comfortable space with deep armchairs and tables with chairs; the fifth floor has some smaller tables clustered under a skylight. Part of the second floor is abruptly closed off by a door with a biometric scanner that denies entry to anyone who isn't John Reese or Harold Finch; the walls surrounding this section are soundproofed, so even a keen listener won't hear anything from inside. Otherwise, it's a perfectly normal library!

Comments

[aimsforknees]

[ John has been doing a good job of not putting a name to his relationship with Harold when he talks about them in Etraya. He mostly doesn't mention Harold at all. Harold had been very insistent that he doesn't want to be distant with John here, that he wants people to know they're... together, so someone will tell him if anything bad happens to John. Meanwhile John has been keeping his distance around other people, knowing that he's playing games and not wanting Harold to get caught up in them. In this particular case, John doesn't think he has anything to gain by hiding their relationship. There's some risk to it, Carver will know one of John's weaknesses, but it's also a warning: any harm to Harold will result in a very unfriendly visit from John. ]

We're partners. Is anyone form your world here?

[ Though if he were in Carver's shoes he probably wouldn't volunteer that. ]

[fortitudosalutis]

Partners, [ Carver echoes, testing out the word. That's an interesting descriptor, isn't it? Begs certain questions. Partners in what, exactly? Carver doesn't do the obvious thing and ask outright, though. He just watches John, and calculates. ] Mhmm. No.

[ And he's looked. ]

Probably for the best.

[aimsforknees]

[ It does beg certain questions, though John is happy Carver doesn't ask them. There's a lot of ways that word can be interpreted and John doesn't have Harold's way of brushing questions off or discouraging them in the first place.

As for Carver's answer... John has two theories. One is that Carver is a loner, someone who can only trust himself, has had to fight on his own for so long in a difficult situation that he's just paranoid about everything. Looking for a fight everywhere. The other is that Carver has deeply trusted allies and the lack of their presence has set him so on edge. This answer doesn't clarify which is true, though John is leaning towards the former. It could always mean that he doesn't wish Etraya on his comrades. Certainly, for all that John is thankful and better off with Harold, part of him wishes that he were safe in the Library in New York City. ]

For them or for you?

[ It's a risky question, but if Carver is willing to answer it will tell John a lot about him. Help fill in those blanks. It'll probably prompt a question in return, but it's a trade he's willing to make right now. ]

[fortitudosalutis]

[ Carver gives John a thin smile. He doesn’t show his teeth this time. Look at them, two ghosts circling each other, pressing for information and not giving more than they have to. He could lie, Carver supposes. He could tell a story and there’d be no one here to contradict him, no one here who could even guess at the truth. It’d be so throughly his own narration that it’d almost be the truth.

He doesn’t, in the end. Just watches John, and smiles. If his brother and sisters were here, Carver thinks they’d just take the place. ]

I like it here. People walk around like they’ve never been hungry.

[ It is and isn’t an answer. ]

Your world worth saving, John?

[aimsforknees]

[ John chooses to interpret that as "for the rest of you" which is a bit of a chilling admission if he's correct. Perhaps Carver does have allies after all, and perhaps they're all equally paranoid and dangerous. Perhaps as a group they'd act on that instinct of fight. It's the kind of thing that makes it more of a priority for John to get some more guns here, something a bit more versatile than what he has now. ]

It is. Is yours?

[fortitudosalutis]

[ Carver just smiles. Expression almost serene. ]

No.

[ The world died. They're ants on a corpse, fighting for their next meal. He knows how it ends. But even so, the dead deserve their due. His sister deserves someone to stand at her side until whatever end they're due finally finds them. ]

But I have dead to bury.

[aimsforknees]

[ What kind of world is Carver from if he doesn't think it's worth saving? What kind of world has turned him into this? They came from the same place, once, brothers in arms even worlds apart, but clearly some deviation has occurred. But John won't pry. ]

The dead deserve that much.

[fortitudosalutis]

They do, [ he agrees simply. He remembers the names of all his fallen. Sometimes he recites them at night like counting rosary. The enemy can rot in the sun, but his dead deserve to be buried. One last kindness. ] But then, people don't usually get what they deserve.

[aimsforknees]

[ John knows about that. About not getting what he deserves. After his time in the CIA he probably deserves a lot worse than what he has now. A lot worse than living with Harold in the Library. How he gets to wake up and walk out and Harold is just there. How he cooks them dinner and they sit down and eat in silence, or trade notes about their days and conversations. Yeah, John doesn't deserve that. ]

No, they don't. The world isn't just that way.

[fortitudosalutis]

[ Carver hums in agreement. In this, at least, they understand each other just fine. ]

No different here. These things happen.

[aimsforknees]

[ John wants to know what Carver thinks he deserves. Does he deserve to be here, in Etraya? Is this punishment or a reward for him? John will go back home and resume working the numbers as soon as he's able, but there are benefits for him here. Things he'll miss. He and Harold will retreat to their careful distance and John will simply have to keep his memories of their time in the library as an ember to keep him warm when the night is long. ]

They do, but we can make the best of the situation regardless.

[fortitudosalutis]

You an altruist?

[ It's a genuine question. There was a time when Carver believed that people were generally good, deep down. That sometimes maybe they'd get into situations where they'd get mean, turn on each other, but that wasn't really them.

Then the world ended, and he learned. The commander showed him. ]

[aimsforknees]

[ Is John and altruist? He's seen a lot of bad in the world. Been on the delivering side of it too. Does he believe that people are good, want to do the right thing? Sometimes the numbers they get are people in trouble, people who haven't done anything wrong, like Judge Gates. Other times they get people who are rotten, people who are only looking out for themselves, like Diane Hansen. And sometimes they get good people who are going to make a bad mistake, like Megan Tillman. No, if he's learned anything from doing the numbers it's that it's impossible to make a sweeping comment about what people are like. ]

No. There's some good in the world, there's some bad. It doesn't have to balance out. Are you?

[ He thinks he knows the answer to that question, but he wants to hear Carver's answer regardless; he shouldn't judge. ]

cw apocalypse stuff, death of children

[fortitudosalutis]

[ Carver snorts at that. ]

You ever seen parents stake their kids out just so they'd get another few seconds to run? Beat each other to death with rocks over shit that doesn't even matter?

[ His voice is soft. A little distant. ]

I think most people are fucking evil.

[aimsforknees]

[ That sounds beyond bleak. John has to wonder what is happening where Carver is from that would drive people to such lengths. He probably wouldn't believe much good of people if he'd seen such things. ]

No, I haven't. Is that common?

[fortitudosalutis]

Mhmm-hmm.

[ What's the point in going into more detail, really? Aren't all war stories the same at their core? Maybe people can only really understand the things they've shared, somewhere deep in the marrow.

Carver looks away. ]

Not much surprises me now. People will do all kinds of things when they're hungry enough.

[aimsforknees]

[ That goes a long way to explaining why Carver is the way he is. Seeing danger around every corner, ready to pick a fight with anyone. People aren't hungry here, but there's the looming threat of desperation; all it takes is one word from Aurora or the mysterious Echo to turn them against each other. John can't tell him that there's no such danger here, that he isn't justified in his caution around other people. ]

What happened to make people so hungry?

[ John wants to know, wants to understand Carver better. Not as a threat, but as a person. What has happened to him? ]

[fortitudosalutis]

The world ended.

[ He tilts his head back John's way, somber and quiet. No smile this time, no hint of flashed teeth. ]

People got sick. And when they die, they come back hungry.

[aimsforknees]

[ John has to think on that for a few moments, try to understand what Carver is saying in so few words. A pandemic, then? ]

A sickness that doesn't kill people but makes them hungry? And food production couldn't keep up?

[fortitudosalutis]

Mhmm, no. It's stranger than that.

[ He does smile this time. Thin, and bitter. ]

You get infected, then a fever sets in. Most people last a day or two and then they go. Not gentle, either. But they die.

[ It's an ugly, painful way to go. Most of the men and women he saw infected that way were hallucinating by the end. The commander allowed them to end it quickly, a mercy. ]

You die from something else, it doesn't matter. You come back anyway. Rotting, and hungry. You get it now? There's nothing left but the dead and the scavengers. I mean nothing.

[aimsforknees]

[ He gets it now. Science fiction and fantasy might not be John's usual genre but he hasn't completely lived under a rock. Sometimes the guys back in the Army used to joke about who would do best in a "zombie apocalypse" and while John never really participated, he's heard enough to tell that's what Carver is talking about, or at least close enough.

What does one say to someone who just admitted they're from a world past the brink? There's no words of sympathy that don't sound patronizing. ]

You have your dead to bury. They deserve your effort.

[ John knows about owing debts, about needing to pay that back. ]

[fortitudosalutis]

[ Carver gives John a long look, then nods. What else is there to say? ]

Yeah. They do.

[aimsforknees]

[ This revelation has painted Carver in a new light for John. He doesn't think Carver is less dangerous, but now John understands why, at least to an extent. Carver might think that most people are evil, but John doesn't think Carver is; he's a guy that got put in a fucked up situation and is having to make the best of it.

John bends down and picks up the ball from where Bear dropped it and holds it out to Carver. A peace offering, of sorts. ]

[fortitudosalutis]

[ The gesture isn't lost on Carver, though he gives John a long look when he's offered the ball. Ready to pull a knife in case it's a trick. But he knows what it means to be offered grace, and he's without allies here.

No one survives alone.

He inhales slow. He takes the ball and holds it loosely in his gloved hands. And then he throws it hard, just to watch the dog run. ]

[aimsforknees]

[ The dutiful Bear looks up at John first, who gives the Dutch command for fetch, and then he's racing off after the ball, kicking up snow as he goes. John doesn't have anything to say, but he doesn't think he needs to. Carver doesn't need conversation and this is a moment where actions speak louder than words. John lets the silence in the winter air hang between them and feels comfortable in it. Doesn't feel innately threatened by Carver's presence.

After not too long Bear comes racing back and drops the ball in front of Carver, wagging his tail happily. ]