John Reese (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
aimsforknees) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
etrayalogs2024-12-04 03:46 pm
aimsforknees) wrote in etrayalogs2024-12-04 03:46 pm
Entry tags:
- arcane: caitlyn kiramman,
- baldurs gate: shadowheart,
- detroit become human: hank anderson,
- dimension 20: gorgug thistlespring,
- have you seen my brother: chu wenshan,
- ice age: manny,
- person of interest: harold finch,
- person of interest: john reese,
- person of interest: sameen shaw,
- silent hill 3: vincent smith,
- the walking dead: brandon carver,
- ✘ blade of the immortal: asano rin,
- ✘ magic knight rayearth: hikaru shidou
December Library Catch-All [ OPEN ]
WHO: John, Harold, and anyone who might find themselves at the Library
WHEN: December
WHERE: The Library!
WHAT: The Library is here and open to all! Come borrow books, find a comfy chair to relax in, or snoop around.
NOTES\WARNINGS: Will be added as they come up
The Library is a five-story neoclassical building of terra cotta, brick, and stone. And the inside is, in fact, a library! And rather clean and organized too. There's no dust, no muddy footprints (apart from your own), and all the shelves are organized by Dewey Decimal, subject, and author. All literature is something you might find in a 2010 New York City library: various forms of fiction, children's and teens' sections, history, science, cooking, gardening, the list goes on. There's even small sections of audiobooks on compact disks and of DVDs ranging from old classics to history shows. The first floor has a reading/study room, a comfortable space with deep armchairs and tables with chairs; the fifth floor has some smaller tables clustered under a skylight. Part of the second floor is abruptly closed off by a door with a biometric scanner that denies entry to anyone who isn't John Reese or Harold Finch; the walls surrounding this section are soundproofed, so even a keen listener won't hear anything from inside. Otherwise, it's a perfectly normal library!
WHEN: December
WHERE: The Library!
WHAT: The Library is here and open to all! Come borrow books, find a comfy chair to relax in, or snoop around.
NOTES\WARNINGS: Will be added as they come up
The Library is a five-story neoclassical building of terra cotta, brick, and stone. And the inside is, in fact, a library! And rather clean and organized too. There's no dust, no muddy footprints (apart from your own), and all the shelves are organized by Dewey Decimal, subject, and author. All literature is something you might find in a 2010 New York City library: various forms of fiction, children's and teens' sections, history, science, cooking, gardening, the list goes on. There's even small sections of audiobooks on compact disks and of DVDs ranging from old classics to history shows. The first floor has a reading/study room, a comfortable space with deep armchairs and tables with chairs; the fifth floor has some smaller tables clustered under a skylight. Part of the second floor is abruptly closed off by a door with a biometric scanner that denies entry to anyone who isn't John Reese or Harold Finch; the walls surrounding this section are soundproofed, so even a keen listener won't hear anything from inside. Otherwise, it's a perfectly normal library!
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[ Two dudes just running away from dragons, and he gets a look for that comment. ]
Been worse, I guess. It's, you know. It is what it is, here, I guess. [ A clusterfuck, that's what it is. ]
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You could say that again. [ That this place 'is what it is.' Truly no more apt description for this place if you want to be diplomatic about it - or downplay things. Fabian rolls a little bit with his eyes, but it's fully aimed at this place, not at Dean himself. ]
The kind of shit they pull on us just seems to get crazier and crazier with each new mission. I don't even really want to imagine what they might be thinking up during this strange quiet pause.
[ Mostly because he doesn't imagine it'll be anything good. ]
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Yeah. Like, the downtime is fine, I guess. And I got the arcade now, something to do with my hands. But I don't like not knowing what's coming.
[ Gets under his skin like sand. He doesn't like it, not that anyone else does, either. ]
How'd it end up going with that robobaby, by the way?
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[ It's not exactly an enthusiastic 'oh', but at least Fabian doesn't look totally heartbroken either. Not the way he had back there in that other city, back when he had been dealing with said robot baby. ]
One of my friends broke off its arm. Accidentally. It started sounding some sort of alarm, and we had to bring it to this fake hospital, and-- [ He waves a hand, almost dismissively. As if to indicate he's just summing things up here. ]
It was not a pretty thing. But I suppose everything ended up alright in the end. If anything, that entire mission they gave us there felt incredibly pointless in the end. I don't even know why we had to do all that.
lmao jesus fabian
Uh, well. Damn. [ what do you even say. ] I don't, either. I still don't even really know how we 'won', or whatever. If you can call it that. Just...playing Stepford?
LOL, SORRY DEAN.... dealing with some truly unhinged kid...
The teenager's eyebrows are fully pulled together into a frown at this point. But it's not just anger. Something about Fabian seems.. more seriously thoughtful in this moment. A little more quiet and serious, like he's confiding something in Dean when Fabian speaks up again.
(Dean had helped him last time, after all.) ]
One of my friends got really hurt the other month. Not-- Not the one with the cars, but that month where there were shadows everywhere, when shit got really fucked up here. This place put him through something, and I don't know if he will ever be the same person again because of it. [ Fabian sounds like he's struggling a little bit as he explains it - like this really bothers him in a way that goes beyond anger. Instead it's hurt. It's worry.
It's vulnerable enough that he's definitely pretending to look at some books as he says it, rather than at Dean directly. ]
the way he isn't even the first lmao dean's collecting them like pokemon
[ He doesn't get it, either. None of it. It's not like they're collecting artifacts or anything.
Dean watches Fabian carefully, clocking body language, how he isn't meeting Dean's eyes, the tone of his voice when he speaks. Dean might make jokes at the worst possible times, but he also knows when to shut the hell up and listen - especially when it comes to kids. Sam can take his what's in the booox jokes, but kids are a different story. ]
...I remember the shadows. The nightmares. [ He can't forget that, can't wipe them out of his head as much as he wants to. He'd been stuck in it, reliving the worst parts of his life, his childhood, his hell, everything in between.
He clears his throat. ]
You're worried about him. [ It's not really a question ]
sorry dean, you're apparently the local government assigned responsible adult now!!
Maybe it's because it feels like Dean gets it, despite being an adult. A whole lot of older people don't seem to understand what Fabian is feeling in this place, and it makes him want to shut up about them even more, but--
This is different. It's not about him. It's about Gorgug, and.. maybe he can trust Dean with this. Just maybe. ]
If it at least was for some good cause, then-- maybe I could put myself at ease about it, you know? But remembering that he went through all of that for nothing.. It makes me so mad.
THIS IS SO CRUSTY I AM SOOOO SORRY
Not much worse than watching someone you care about go through hell and not being able to do a damn thing about it. [ He scoffs. ] And it’s all for what, some cosmic lesson? Echo's power trip? [ because he sure hasn't seen any proof of any universes being saved, here. ]
You’re right to be mad, hell - I'm mad for you. [ He slides his hands into his pockets. ] And you’re not wrong to want it to mean something.
But the important thing? He's still here. You’re still here. And yeah, it messed him up, maybe it changed him — but that doesn't mean he’s lost, y'know? It means he needs his people, people who aren't gonna let him slip through the cracks. [ He idly thumbs at the corner of his mouth, briefly lost in thought. ] I've been through some crap, too. Crap that changed me, changed everything about who I was. My brother was the one who kept me sane, kept me from falling right off the damn ledge. And when he screwed up...well.
[ They'd split, they'd fought, but they're the Winchesters. They're obsessively, neurotically, and erotically co-dependent on one another (an angels words, not his). They always snap back together. ]
I did the same for him.
All that to say - my point here it isn't about them. It's about us. The people you care about, that you fight for - the ones that fight for you. That’s what matters. And that’s what we gotta hang onto, even when everything else feels like bullshit.
nooo, it's fine!! instead-- thank you for getting back to the thread at all! ❤️
[ Though he isn't saying anything - not at first - Fabian does look at Dean. For what it's worth, he really seems to be listening to what the other is talking about in this moment. Especially since Dean manages to put it in such a way that Fabian can actually understand, unlike what most adults he's used to dealing with tend to do.
It actually gets through to him a little. ]
Do you think that's enough?
[ Sure, apparently he still has some complicated feeling about it - judging by that question, judging by the look in Fabian's eyes, like he's thinking about thirty different things at once.
But he's listening. And that's not something teenagers always do. ]
Because, in this dumb place-- Sometimes just being there for people doesn't feel like it's enough.
😩🥴
I think it's a start. I know sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough, like no matter what you do, the people you care about are still hurting, still carrying scars you can’t fix.
[ Like he himself is. Sam. Even Cas. ]
Me and my brother, my friends? We've all made mistakes and we've all been too late to help at some time or another, but we all keep fighting. Always keep fighting.
[ He pauses, weighing his words. It isn't like he has all the answers — hell, if he did, his life wouldn't have gone to shit the way it did. But Dean does know one thing. ]
And those time I was at my lowest, when I didn’t know if I could keep fighting, when I was ready to give up — Sam was there. My friends were there. [ He has to stop for a second, pause and swallow down a lump in his throat, thinking of all the people that have died because of him, because of Sam. Bobby, Ellen, Charlie. Even Cas died for him - twice. ]
I wasn’t alone. And that's what's important. I wasn't alone, even when I tried to isolate myself. My people, they kept coming to find me. And that made all the difference.
[ There's some complex shit twisted up in there about the Mark of Cain and Dean being a demon for a couple months and trying to kill his brother but that's not what they're talking about and not pertinent. It worked out. Kind of. ]
And your buddy isn't alone, either - cause you give a damn. And when it comes down to it, that's what counts, the knowing someone's got your back. Doesn't mean it's fair, cause this place sucks ass, but it still matters. Even if it doesn't feel like it.
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But he doesn't want to throw all that baggage at Dean. He doesn't deserve it.
Besides, like Fabian has always been taught-- he has to solve his own problems. Even this.
So though he takes in everything the other is saying, he doesn't use it to speak up about his own situation again. Instead, staring at Dean, he remarks: ]
It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot back home. [ That's an entirely different conclusion he can draw from this whole story.. You okay, Dean??? ]
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Do as he says, not as he does, etc. ]
Yeah. Don't we all, though? End of the day, we're all stuck here and we gotta band together, otherwise it's all gonna blow up in our faces. [ Don't you do that, you sneaky little teen.
(no dean is not okay) ]
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Fabian squints a little with his one eye.
He's even leaning a little bit closer towards Dean. He's totally scrutinizing the other in this moment. ]
Are you trying to distract me from asking about you? [ He's onto you, mister!!!! ]
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[ A completely innocent smile, a lift of his shoulders. ]
No more than you're switching gears faster than a Nascar driver. [ bam. ]
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Please, Dean. You can't be out here arguing with teenagers over something like this. Think of your reputation! Your dignity! ]
You're breaking the sacred rules of table flipping!
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[ oh but he can! ]
I'm older, I make the rules. [ but is he more mature... that's the real question. ]
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How do you even know you're older than me?
[ To be fair, Dean obviously is. But given that Fabian is half-elf, he figures he could pass as older than he actually is.
.. granted, he's not exactly realizing Dean might not really be around elves all that often. ]
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[ No, he sure is not. He's had a run in with fae, but they're probably not the same. He doesn't think so, anyway. They sure didn't look like Tolkien elves. ]
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Dude. You're meant to guess!
[ It's no fun if Fabian tells Dean, after all. He wants to see what Dean would say.
(And maybe mess with him just a little bit.) ]