WHO: sami rowd, dami brat & pals WHEN: jan - feb WHERE: places WHAT: a catch-all NOTES\WARNINGS: discussions of death, dismemberment, arson, child endangerment, and someone in here will probably start a fight at some point.
( he's quiet, for a moment. considers that. not the accelerator fighting gods, that sounds about in line with what he knows about the boy. about the rest of it. )
[Ugh, that is not a deal he wants to make. Robin's a kid, as far as he can tell an unpowered one, and even if he's fought gods in the past that doesn't mean he should fight any in the future. Of course, if this is his best chance at being able to keep an eye on him he should take it regardless, and it's not like Robin's the one who's died here.........
( connor was his friend, an ally who helped him on more than one occasion, and damian only shared what was necessary with him, keeping everything else in the dark. it had been intentional. the pessimistic side of him reminds himself that, well, connor is gone now so clearly his hesitance to share wasn't misplaced. but they had been friends, and friends are meant to support one another. )
He's been here since the beginning. But he isn't my father, not necessarily. He's a version of him, one who is significantly younger than what I am accustomed to. He has yet to meet my mother, nor my eldest adopted brother.
( damian's been looking out for him. making sure he doesn't let bruce get too deep into his head, ensuring he has someone there to rely on and knows he has that support. )
The one who recently arrived is significantly older but also has not heard of me. I doubt I exist in his world.
[It's news to Accelerator that Robin has an older sibling. Or a father that he knows. This sounds like a confusing mess, and he knows over nine thousand biologically identical clones.
It's even worse that it's family. And a parent. Accelerator doesn't know his own parents, but he can imagine how hard this would be for a kid.]
Sounds like an existential nightmare.
[That's putting it lightly.]
So neither of them actually know who you are? Have you told them?
I told the younger one shortly after his arrival. It was - relevant, at the time. The elder didn't need to be told; he's familiar with my mother, and given my uniform, it isn't a difficult conclusion to leap to.
( because not only is he robin, but damian is quite clearly his parents' child. he hadn't been going out of his way to hide that. )
Managing one has been difficult enough. The second has been an - unexpected complication, to say the least.
[Well... that's better than the alternative. At least, it is for Robin. Accelerator could not give two shits about his fathers and how hard it must be for them to suddenly learn they have a teenage son. It's more important to him that Robin isn't having to live in some awful unknown limbo regarding his parental figures.]
They're both adults. They should have their shit together. If they don't, that's on them, not you.
You don't understand. But I hadn't expected you to.
( it's difficult to explain the relationship between batman and robin. to tell another who hasn't known batman how important it is for robin to remain beside him. damian remembers when grayson had put on the cowl, and how - different it had been, being the robin to his batman before bruce had returned from the past. damian had been the sharp edge, ready and willing to cut down anyone in their path while grayson played a careful balancing act of trying to remain true to himself while also emulating the man who had worn the cowl previously and demonstrating to damian what it meant to truly be robin.
when there were no longer. . . two sets of batman and robin and damian had gone to his father's side, he had to learn to be bruce's robin, rather than grayson's. how and when to listen and disobey, when to allow batman to push the boundaries of too far and when to pull him back from the edge. and here he is once again, learning how to fill in that role for a batman who has never had a robin before. damian is no grayson, he can't fulfill the role of a boy who reminds bruce all too much of his own tragedy because it wasn't his experience: his parents are both still alive, despite numerous attempts to change that. damian doesn't need a guiding hand to show him how to fight and when, their push-and-pull is much different.
even back home, with a father who has had four robins before him, damian is still figuring out where he fits into the equation. what he brings to robin that the others hadn't already.
something he's trying to figure out how to describe to a child who doesn't get it. )
I was born to fulfill a specific purpose, ( a heir for ra's kingdom, but not in the traditional sense. ) and have spent the past several years fighting against becoming what my grandfather wanted. I had become one of the world's greatest assassins by the time I turned ten. It was my father who showed me there was another way, and my eldest brother who spent a significant amount of time teaching me that I did not have to be what my mother made me.
My father needs someone who can keep him grounded, and I need. . . that. ( purpose. )
Accelerator knows he isn't the one who should be having this conversation with Robin. An actual adult, preferably one of the ones in his life like his dad or older brother, should be standing here doing this. But they aren't (fucking irresponsible), he is, and he certainly isn't going to just drop the subject.
It's a little like with Last Order, Worst, Qliphah. They needed help, preferably from someone that wasn't him, but he was there and so he stepped up.
He sighs.]
It's fine that you've needed them for that. Honestly, your situation isn't all that different from a lot of kids back home. [Including himself, but there are thousands of names he can think up on the spot who've been screwed up just as badly.] A lot of them get dragged down into a violent life where adults use them for their own ends, and they've needed people to help pull them out. The role of a responsible adult is to guide kids towards a good life. Usually that means making sure they're prepared for what the world throws at them, and setting them up so they can pursue whatever kinds of dreams they might have. That's what your dad and brother were doing for you.
[So good on them for that, at least. But he continues.]
But if an adult needs a kid around to keep them grounded, that's really fucked up. Part of being an adult means having your shit together, and knowing which other adults to go to if you don't. They should never be dumping their emotional baggage on a kid, especially not when you've got your own baggage you're working through.
( accelerator still isn't listening. but damian's starting to discern why he isn't hearing what he's saying: he's coming at this from the same angle damian is. he sighs, but it sounds more irritated than anything else. like he's holding himself back from yelling. a hand raises, gloved fingers shoving through black hair that's been getting much too long; alfred is supposed to be cutting his hair. on his own, damian has only managed to take care of it a couple times over the last almost year. )
You and I aren't all that different.
( and he hates admitting it, because damian hates finding others who have suffered in the same way he has. )
But you still aren't understanding. The role I fulfill is one that I want. But not only is it one I have fought to maintain, it's one I will gladly take ownership of because someone needs to do it. If he had been a normal man, in a normal position, I would have readily agreed with you. But he is far from that. Especially the younger one, of whom I have been working with since our arrival here. And being Robin is not just for him. I am Robin, for every child of Gotham who has needed someone to look up to. For every person who has needed support. For those like you, with so much power at your disposal with little in the way of safety nets.
[Accelerator keeps his reaction, turning his gaze from Robin back to the building, keeping his irritation from showing. Easy enough for him, since there's normally a scowl on his face.
He isn't a role model to other children. That's an impossibility. After his trial he knows the majority of the world despises him, and after enacting martial law the students of his city rioted in protest. He doesn't care that his public image is six feet under. You don't need to be some idol people adore in order to do good, and he's beyond caring about such black-and-white views.
He refrains from saying all of that. It stings to hear this kid thinks he needed a safety net. Maybe when he was really young, before his power manifested. But afterwards? Afterwards, he had all the power in the world and he did fuck all with it. He didn't need a safety net at that point, he needed to be less selfish.
He decides to pick another route in this conversation.]
What kinds of things do you do as Robin? Beyond fighting gods.
( is all the role comes down to. robin is there to help. he is there to play support for batman, to be what batman needs in the field: a distraction for their enemies, a light in the darkness, or with grayson - a sharp edge to counter the circus boy playing the part of a hardened man who thrives among the shadows. it's a balancing act. and not one damian has managed to master just yet, even if he does feel significantly more confident in being robin than he does being damian wayne. )
I have also led a team of teenaged heroes through multiple battles, both playing partner and leader when necessary. But my time as Robin has been mostly spent correcting my own errors, from before I had taken over the mantle. Becoming Robin was a gift, and it is not one I take lightly.
[Cool, more child soldiers. Just what he likes to hear. Accelerator's mouth remains a thin line as he listens quietly. There's a lot he could say here, but he isn't interested in starting arguments and an argument isn't going to persuade anyone. Besides, it's the adults and the society putting these kids in these situations that are the problem, not the kids themselves.]
I see. [That's all he says for a few moments.] Is anyone else from your universe here? Or people you're familiar with, like your alternate universe dads?
( he still doesn't like the expression on accelerator's face, but damian can't object to it. because he understands what accelerator is thinking. knows where his mind is going, and acknowledges that he, too, would react the same if he were in someone else's shoes. it's just different, but explaining the whys and hows is near-impossible. he gives an irritated sigh, but raises a hand and starts counting off. )
Nightwing is my eldest brother. Red Hood is the third, but the one here isn't mine. Red Robin is the fourth.
( essentially, most of his siblings are here in some incarnation. )
[God, he's got a whole family here. He'd like to think that means the kid has a support network, but given... all of this, including their monikers rather than names... he's skeptical how supportive they actually are.]
( because he's still angry with drake. because todd is new, and. . . odd. different, in a way that seems like it's better for him even if it's uncomfortable for damian. and grayson - has other matters to attend to. )
They'll figure it out. It's not as if they're too stupid to realize there are two of him waltzing around.
( bruce wayne is a hard man to ignore. even in his old age, he still has a presence about him that draws in others' attention. damian noticed it, from the moment he found him in wayne tower. )
I'm more concerned about how Father will react to seeing another version of himself, than I am regarding their reaction to him.
[He's assuming these brothers are all older, not just Nightwing, otherwise Robin would've been showing the same kind of concern towards them that he does for other kids here. That's Accelerator's assumption, at least, so he isn't particularly concerned about them not knowing. They're adults (probably), they should have their shit together well enough to deal with it.
He feels that way about both of the fathers too, but he can't dismiss it as readily, not since it's weighing on Robin's mind.]
( bruce is an adult, yes, but he's still very much that child who watched his parents die in crime alley. he's vulnerable, and while he's confident in some ways, damian suspects seeing himself but different will cause him to get stuck on a lot of details he hadn't before. things another version of himself did properly, things they did incorrectly, nitpicking every detail possible to obsessively build himself the best possible outcome, despite that being absolutely insane. )
( he isn't wrong. less because of telling his brothers, and more because grayson is significantly better equipped to handle this. when they need someone with the big guns to help, they call in todd. when they need a detective, they call drake. and when there's something that requires a more gentle but firm hand, when they need someone who knows how to handle the emotional rollercoaster that is their entire lives, they call grayson.
damian raises a hand to shove his palm against his face. gives an irritated sigh. )
Connor would have been useful. He's the exact kind of person Father enjoys studying and learning from.
[Connor was always friendly and helpful, and from his own personal experiences Accelerator knows he was good at dealing with difficult personalities, so if that's what Robin thinks then he's inclined to agree.
It sucks, and bringing up Connor causes a twisting in his gut that he wants to ignore and can't.]
It's bullshit that he's gone.
[He misses him. He wasn't human, but he was better than a lot of the people here.]
It's an inconvenience. Do you know how many of my contingency plans I now need to re-analyze?
( because he'd trusted connor to remain available to him. knew he would show up if damian called him, and now he's simply - gone. this is why damian prefers to not involve others in his plans: leaning on the talents of others means leaving himself vulnerable.
his free hand raises, to press against his face, too. damian isn't one who often experiences. . . homesickness, but he certainly is now. he misses his friends. maya, kathy, jon. the titans. his father and grayson both had wanted damian to learn to rely on external forces, considering it important for someone his age. and now that damian had managed it - they're all gone. laura and connor, too. )
[Yeah, relying on Connor would've made total sense. He was smart, trustworthy, competent, and had a lot of useful skills that would have made him ideal for Robin's kind of contingency plans.
More importantly, they were friends.]
I do, too.
[He gets it. Being stuck in a place you have no control over, watching people you care about disappear into the ether. It's awful.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
I have, too.
[That doesn't change this negotiation in the slightest.]
no subject
I'll call you if you call me.
no subject
He sighs heavily, and nods.]
Okay, agreed.
[They have a deal. Unfortunately.]
So... your father is here? [Tell him about that!]
no subject
( connor was his friend, an ally who helped him on more than one occasion, and damian only shared what was necessary with him, keeping everything else in the dark. it had been intentional. the pessimistic side of him reminds himself that, well, connor is gone now so clearly his hesitance to share wasn't misplaced. but they had been friends, and friends are meant to support one another. )
He's been here since the beginning. But he isn't my father, not necessarily. He's a version of him, one who is significantly younger than what I am accustomed to. He has yet to meet my mother, nor my eldest adopted brother.
( damian's been looking out for him. making sure he doesn't let bruce get too deep into his head, ensuring he has someone there to rely on and knows he has that support. )
The one who recently arrived is significantly older but also has not heard of me. I doubt I exist in his world.
no subject
It's even worse that it's family. And a parent. Accelerator doesn't know his own parents, but he can imagine how hard this would be for a kid.]
Sounds like an existential nightmare.
[That's putting it lightly.]
So neither of them actually know who you are? Have you told them?
no subject
( because not only is he robin, but damian is quite clearly his parents' child. he hadn't been going out of his way to hide that. )
Managing one has been difficult enough. The second has been an - unexpected complication, to say the least.
no subject
They're both adults. They should have their shit together. If they don't, that's on them, not you.
cw: child abuse, child endangerment, other.. robiny things.
( it's difficult to explain the relationship between batman and robin. to tell another who hasn't known batman how important it is for robin to remain beside him. damian remembers when grayson had put on the cowl, and how - different it had been, being the robin to his batman before bruce had returned from the past. damian had been the sharp edge, ready and willing to cut down anyone in their path while grayson played a careful balancing act of trying to remain true to himself while also emulating the man who had worn the cowl previously and demonstrating to damian what it meant to truly be robin.
when there were no longer. . . two sets of batman and robin and damian had gone to his father's side, he had to learn to be bruce's robin, rather than grayson's. how and when to listen and disobey, when to allow batman to push the boundaries of too far and when to pull him back from the edge. and here he is once again, learning how to fill in that role for a batman who has never had a robin before. damian is no grayson, he can't fulfill the role of a boy who reminds bruce all too much of his own tragedy because it wasn't his experience: his parents are both still alive, despite numerous attempts to change that. damian doesn't need a guiding hand to show him how to fight and when, their push-and-pull is much different.
even back home, with a father who has had four robins before him, damian is still figuring out where he fits into the equation. what he brings to robin that the others hadn't already.
something he's trying to figure out how to describe to a child who doesn't get it. )
I was born to fulfill a specific purpose, ( a heir for ra's kingdom, but not in the traditional sense. ) and have spent the past several years fighting against becoming what my grandfather wanted. I had become one of the world's greatest assassins by the time I turned ten. It was my father who showed me there was another way, and my eldest brother who spent a significant amount of time teaching me that I did not have to be what my mother made me.
My father needs someone who can keep him grounded, and I need. . . that. ( purpose. )
cw: child abuse, child endangerment, other.. robiny things.
Accelerator knows he isn't the one who should be having this conversation with Robin. An actual adult, preferably one of the ones in his life like his dad or older brother, should be standing here doing this. But they aren't (fucking irresponsible), he is, and he certainly isn't going to just drop the subject.
It's a little like with Last Order, Worst, Qliphah. They needed help, preferably from someone that wasn't him, but he was there and so he stepped up.
He sighs.]
It's fine that you've needed them for that. Honestly, your situation isn't all that different from a lot of kids back home. [Including himself, but there are thousands of names he can think up on the spot who've been screwed up just as badly.] A lot of them get dragged down into a violent life where adults use them for their own ends, and they've needed people to help pull them out. The role of a responsible adult is to guide kids towards a good life. Usually that means making sure they're prepared for what the world throws at them, and setting them up so they can pursue whatever kinds of dreams they might have. That's what your dad and brother were doing for you.
[So good on them for that, at least. But he continues.]
But if an adult needs a kid around to keep them grounded, that's really fucked up. Part of being an adult means having your shit together, and knowing which other adults to go to if you don't. They should never be dumping their emotional baggage on a kid, especially not when you've got your own baggage you're working through.
no subject
You and I aren't all that different.
( and he hates admitting it, because damian hates finding others who have suffered in the same way he has. )
But you still aren't understanding. The role I fulfill is one that I want. But not only is it one I have fought to maintain, it's one I will gladly take ownership of because someone needs to do it. If he had been a normal man, in a normal position, I would have readily agreed with you. But he is far from that. Especially the younger one, of whom I have been working with since our arrival here. And being Robin is not just for him. I am Robin, for every child of Gotham who has needed someone to look up to. For every person who has needed support. For those like you, with so much power at your disposal with little in the way of safety nets.
no subject
He isn't a role model to other children. That's an impossibility. After his trial he knows the majority of the world despises him, and after enacting martial law the students of his city rioted in protest. He doesn't care that his public image is six feet under. You don't need to be some idol people adore in order to do good, and he's beyond caring about such black-and-white views.
He refrains from saying all of that. It stings to hear this kid thinks he needed a safety net. Maybe when he was really young, before his power manifested. But afterwards? Afterwards, he had all the power in the world and he did fuck all with it. He didn't need a safety net at that point, he needed to be less selfish.
He decides to pick another route in this conversation.]
What kinds of things do you do as Robin? Beyond fighting gods.
[Which a kid shouldn't be doing to begin with.]
no subject
( is all the role comes down to. robin is there to help. he is there to play support for batman, to be what batman needs in the field: a distraction for their enemies, a light in the darkness, or with grayson - a sharp edge to counter the circus boy playing the part of a hardened man who thrives among the shadows. it's a balancing act. and not one damian has managed to master just yet, even if he does feel significantly more confident in being robin than he does being damian wayne. )
I have also led a team of teenaged heroes through multiple battles, both playing partner and leader when necessary. But my time as Robin has been mostly spent correcting my own errors, from before I had taken over the mantle. Becoming Robin was a gift, and it is not one I take lightly.
no subject
I see. [That's all he says for a few moments.] Is anyone else from your universe here? Or people you're familiar with, like your alternate universe dads?
no subject
Nightwing is my eldest brother. Red Hood is the third, but the one here isn't mine. Red Robin is the fourth.
( essentially, most of his siblings are here in some incarnation. )
no subject
Do they know about the situation with your dads?
no subject
( because he's still angry with drake. because todd is new, and. . . odd. different, in a way that seems like it's better for him even if it's uncomfortable for damian. and grayson - has other matters to attend to. )
no subject
Do you have plans to tell them?
[Accelerator doesn't know the details of any of their relationships, so he isn't sure if Robin even wants to.]
no subject
( bruce wayne is a hard man to ignore. even in his old age, he still has a presence about him that draws in others' attention. damian noticed it, from the moment he found him in wayne tower. )
I'm more concerned about how Father will react to seeing another version of himself, than I am regarding their reaction to him.
no subject
He feels that way about both of the fathers too, but he can't dismiss it as readily, not since it's weighing on Robin's mind.]
How do you think he'll react?
no subject
( bruce is an adult, yes, but he's still very much that child who watched his parents die in crime alley. he's vulnerable, and while he's confident in some ways, damian suspects seeing himself but different will cause him to get stuck on a lot of details he hadn't before. things another version of himself did properly, things they did incorrectly, nitpicking every detail possible to obsessively build himself the best possible outcome, despite that being absolutely insane. )
He's. . . vulnerable.
no subject
He thinks on this for several moments, raising and dismissing additional questions. Eventually he settles on something.]
I think you need to tell your brothers.
no subject
damian raises a hand to shove his palm against his face. gives an irritated sigh. )
Connor would have been useful. He's the exact kind of person Father enjoys studying and learning from.
no subject
It sucks, and bringing up Connor causes a twisting in his gut that he wants to ignore and can't.]
It's bullshit that he's gone.
[He misses him. He wasn't human, but he was better than a lot of the people here.]
no subject
( because he'd trusted connor to remain available to him. knew he would show up if damian called him, and now he's simply - gone. this is why damian prefers to not involve others in his plans: leaning on the talents of others means leaving himself vulnerable.
his free hand raises, to press against his face, too. damian isn't one who often experiences. . . homesickness, but he certainly is now. he misses his friends. maya, kathy, jon. the titans. his father and grayson both had wanted damian to learn to rely on external forces, considering it important for someone his age. and now that damian had managed it - they're all gone. laura and connor, too. )
I hate it here.
no subject
[Yeah, relying on Connor would've made total sense. He was smart, trustworthy, competent, and had a lot of useful skills that would have made him ideal for Robin's kind of contingency plans.
More importantly, they were friends.]
I do, too.
[He gets it. Being stuck in a place you have no control over, watching people you care about disappear into the ether. It's awful.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
400 years later
s.link has ranked up
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)