∎ ETRAYA MODS ∎ (
etrayamods) wrote in
etrayalogs2025-03-14 11:19 am
Entry tags:
- !mission log,
- arcane: jayce talis,
- arcane: viktor,
- batman wfa: jason todd,
- dc comics: barbara gordon,
- jl gods and monsters: hernan guerra,
- jl gods and monsters: kirk langstrom,
- mcu: loki,
- person of interest: john reese,
- person of interest: sameen shaw,
- stranger things: chrissy cunningham,
- ✘ arcane: caitlyn kiramman,
- ✘ arcane: vander,
- ✘ baldurs gate: shadowheart,
- ✘ fe3h: yuri leclerc,
- ✘ genshin impact: kaeya alberich,
- ✘ ice age: manny,
- ✘ little mushroom: an zhe,
- ✘ mad max: max rockatansky,
- ✘ marvel comics: felicia hardy,
- ✘ marvel comics: jean grey,
- ✘ mcu: peter parker,
- ✘ nier: lars,
- ✘ silent hill 3: heather mason,
- ✘ the untamed: xue yang,
- ✘ word of honor: wen kexing,
- ✘ xmcu: laura
MISSION 008
WHO: Everyone!
WHEN: March 14th - April 11th
WHERE: Aphaia
WHAT: Mission 008
NOTES\WARNINGS: Survival horror elements, violence, (mild) body horror, potential death.
WHEN: March 14th - April 11th
WHERE: Aphaia
WHAT: Mission 008
NOTES\WARNINGS: Survival horror elements, violence, (mild) body horror, potential death.
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Don't, Carver tells himself. Just don't.
He looks away abruptly, focusing his gaze on the fallen. On the enemy bleeding and moaning on the ground. Alive, though. Each and every one of them. ]
It's a shit job.
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[ It's an immediate reply, he doesn't even think about it. Of course it's not a shit job. This is what he wants to do. This is what he's spent his whole life trying to do. Protect people. Save them. Instead he spent so many years putting them in the ground. Now Harold has given him this chance. ]
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[ He can't look at the boy. He can't. And that's an awful goddamn tell in a place like this, the worst kind of operational sin, and he still can't make himself stop from tensing up. From clenching his hands as if to grasp a weapon. ]
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It feels anticlimactic sometimes. It's just one or two people and there's so many out there. There was this one girl we saved, her boyfriend was ex military, and they discovered someone was giving impossible loans to veterans and then taking everything back from them. Made thirty million taking advantage of veterans. We got the money back, Finch put it in charities. Or a guy who was part of a thief gang trying to make money to give to the wife of a fellow soldier that died in his place, trying to make sure his friend's daughter had a good future.
[ There are so many numbers, but he thinks those two in particular with resonate with Carver. He'll understand them better, see the good in them more than he would the spoiled daughter of the diplomat who learned what to do with her life. ]
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Hold still, the commander orders softly. And stand up straight. You know better than that. You know fucking better.
His fingers twitch. He stands up straight. ]
Good for them, then.
[ It comes out flatter than he means. At least somebody gets a happy ending, somewhere out there. ]
We done here or what?
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That's it. Now you know what working for Finch is like.
[ John doesn't let his emotions into his voice, just keeps calm, smooth. Doesn't judge, doesn't antagonize. Maybe one day, if he plays his cards right, Carver will see. He's not going to give up at every little setback. ]
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He hates this awkwardness, the feeling that he's done something unreasonable that everyone else is nonetheless giving him a pass on. An allowance for -
What, exactly?
Getting lost in the woods, Carver realizes suddenly. Because that's what this is, isn't it? All these moments where he can't wear a civilized shape anymore, where he can't see things the way everyone else does and so he fails the test. Time and time again, he gets it wrong and yet they're all so calm in their disappointment. So goddamn understanding it makes him want to scream. ]
Yes, sir, [ he agrees, in his nothing voice. It's what you say when you fail. ]
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I'm no "sir".
[ He's been called "sir" before, but it was a long time ago, another life practically. No matter how bad things got in the Army it turned out that was nothing compared to the CIA. Kara was right when she said no one would understand what he's done. Except Carver. Carver would. Maybe that's part of why John wants him to understand. ]
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[ That's a simple fact. Harold doesn't like it and he's said as much, but that doesn't make it any less true. Carver focuses his gaze on the horizon, blurred and unreal as it is here. He wonders if he can just pull the goddamn headset off and end this, or if that'd fuck up the game.
He can't fail twice. Pope would be so goddamn disappointed in him. ]
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[ He doesn't really think Shaw is in it just for the action or the pay. She wouldn't have stuck around for all those years longer if that was the case. She would have found something else to do in the first place. And for Harold... John is certain the numbers mean as much to Harold as they do to him. People mean more to Harold than they do to John. He's been so insistent from day one that John could do good, has asked him to do good, to be better. ]
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[ Whatever their reasons, a hierarchy exists. It shapes the world and this thing Harold and John built, that Shaw built with them. Pretending otherwise is foolish but Carver's done that before. He's lied through his teeth for officers because that was what they wanted, that was what it meant to be a good soldier.
He holds very still, gaze on the horizon. This is done, isn't it? This moment? Arguing won't change it. ]
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I'll see you around. Take care of yourself out there.
[ If Carver wants to think there's a rank, he can say that much. Maybe Carver will listen to him. ]
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