๐ฎ๐๐๐๐๐๐ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
demainvient) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
etrayalogs2025-07-08 02:17 pm
demainvient) wrote in etrayalogs2025-07-08 02:17 pm
demainvient) wrote in etrayalogs2025-07-08 02:17 pm
no subject
It's another weird little jolt, hearing Verso talk about Lune like he knows her. But he does know her, doesn't he? Spent all that time with her, just like he had with Sciel and Maelle. Lumiere is so small these days that it's unusual not to know all the same people your friends know, and Gustave's work took him all over the city, helping out. He'd gotten to know just about everyone, or so it had seemed.
He pushes past it. He hadn't come here to dwell on all the things that make him uncomfortable about Verso; he'd come to make amends. Because they're on the same team. Because they need to be able to work together.
And, maybe a little, for the version of himself from a day ago, who only knew that Verso was an Expeditioner, and helpful, and older than he looks. The version who was glad Verso is here. The version who liked him, even as he found him a little difficult to pin down.
Verso lifts his hands, a placating, open gesture, and Gustave wonders what would happen if he said no. No, how can he be trusted? No, what happens if he has to make a choice between his father and his team? No, there's too much space between them now, a ravine that cracked open, deep and impassable as any from the Fracture?
No, he thought he could trust him, and learning Verso lied, that he held back the truth, hurt more than he could ever have anticipated?
Gustave wets his lip, finds a way to nod his head. "Yeah. Yeah, of course I'm fine with it."
... He's got to be more convincing. He tries a small smile, which mostly makes its way to his eyes, even if it's a little wry. "You can offer things none of the rest of us can. Maelle and Sciel trust you, they're used to working with you. You've earned your place as a part of the team, whether I was there to see it or not. You deserve that spot, Verso. I want you there."
He breathes out a little, hands opening as he tips his head to one side, considering. "I think you and I... maybe we just need to get to know each other. Maybe, in a different life... a different path... I'd still have been there when you joined up, and we'd be just as close as you and the others. If you're willing, I think we deserve to see what we can be, you and me, together. Instead of just being these... stories to each other, that people we care about have told us."
He glances back at Verso, expression open and earnest. "What do you think?"
no subject
He flicks his index finger toward the ceiling, making small little circles in the air. His eyes close. If they all were together, would they need him? He wants to stay with them, to watch over them, but he continues to wonder if that's his own selfishness. What is his place? How can he be useful?
His eyes open.
Verso can't help the expression that dances over his face at Gustave saying that he's fine with it. His head tilts as he isn't able to hide the frown. A slower, meaningful blink as he looks away from him. Letting him collect himself to try again with what he is saying.
He drifts his gaze back to him, sees the small smile. You want me there? Of course, he doesn't say that aloud. They're trying to mend feelings and misunderstandings. Gustave is here to talk and he should continue to respect that versus start an unnecessary fight over words.
Only it isn't just misunderstandings.
His shoulders lower, feeling the weight on them, but he tries to make the gesture seem more like he's relaxing more against the piano -- hearing something that's a relief -- rather than something that builds more weight upon his chest.
"I think that sounds more than fair." Fairer than deserved. He breathes a little laugh through his nose. "So, let's start again. Verso. The only son of Renoir." He gently rests a hand against his only chest. Running his thumb's nail against his index finger, he wonders if he should mention how his relationship with Renoir has changed.
His head gives a little shake.
"Immortal from Expedition Zero. Over one-hundred years old." His shoulders lift and lower. "A simple, straight-forward description, I'd say." Another little smile. He did think of saying how he isn't quite as immortal as he once was. However, he doesn't want Maelle to know; he's playing stupid, playing dumb, if he takes a hit and dies from it -- at least they'll be safe. He'll claim ignorance after.
no subject
Maybe, maybe.
But Verso gives that charming little laugh, brief and self-effacing, and introduces himself all over again, and he is charming, if also an unknown element. "I find it hard to believe there's anything simple or straight-forward about you."
It's amused, not an accusation, and Gustave sits up to take his turn, gesturing toward his own chest. "Gustave. An engineer before I was an expeditioner. Two sisters, one of which you know; three apprentices back in Lumiรจre."
He shakes his head right back, eyebrows lifting, wry. "32 years old, and not immortal, it turns out. Not that I was expecting to be."
no subject
Verso glances away shortly after the introduction. "Well, it is nice to meet you." There is a wall of words that he could say, but he decides those are the best ones to choose from what could be said.
"Anyway, you've probably seen enough of me today." He breathes out a little laugh through his nose. Drumming his fingers on the surface of the cover, his smile flickers across his face.
"You're right to your emotions and outrage, you know?" A slight beat. "End up burning yourself out fast if you don't let yourself feel." His smile remains as he gives his casual advice.
Verso thinks he should give another apology, but decides that he's said too many already. Eventually they'll sound like nothing but placating statements. He decides to let that one go and instead say something truthful. "There's still some things I can't say yet but it's not being hidden from you. It's just a conversation not yet had, all right?"
no subject
He huffs a small breath of laughter as he sets his hands on his knees. "Yeah. Good advice for both of us, I think."
What reaction might Verso be hiding under that warm, oh so charming smile? Anger, resentment? That same awkward sense of having been replaced, of no longer being needed, that Gustave himself feels?
If there's a fight to come, who would really be a more useful member of the team? From a purely practical standpoint, the answer is clear. Maybe not even just a practical one.
He's standing as Verso goes on, and pauses there, half-turned, listening. A conversation not yet had. It only sparks more questions: why not? is it something Verso feels he can't handle yet, the way everyone seems to think he can't handle things yet?
Gustave considers him for a moment, thoughtful. "Okay, fair enough. But just so I know if I need to brace myself down the line, is it gonna be something else I won't enjoy hearing? If you can tell me, I guess. Otherwise I'll, well... wait and be surprised, I suppose."
no subject
He has already decided to burn out for the people that are around him. Be that the 33s or anyone else. He's not seeking forgiveness; he's not looking for validation. He simply feels that the sum of his life should be used for those around him. It's that simple and that complex.
Whatever he feels, he doesn't want that to become a burden for others. Not that it always works out that way, but he'd rather his emotions not be a chain that drags others down. So, he'll figure out a way to apologize for the brief weight they had to carry because of him.
He watches Gustave get up to leave. He tilts his head slightly in a farewell. But he does pause when the man pauses. His head tilts the opposite way.
"I can't imagine it'll be an enjoyable conversation." He scratches his beard in thought. That much he can, at least, let him know. "But I don't think you need to worry for another shoe to drop, though. I did, after all, help the Expedition kill the Paintress and Renoir."
A slow blink and he tilts his chin up. "In any case, I don't have any regrets about what happened in the Monolith."