etrayalogs | MISSION 011 Sidelogs

Entry tags:

MISSION 011 Sidelogs

WHO: Individual sign ups for mission 011
WHEN: September 19th - October 3rd
WHERE: Etraya
WHAT: Mod-driven threads!
NOTES\WARNINGS: Psychological horror, hallucinations, paranoia, body horror, violence, death imagery, loss of autonomy, existential horror. Mother thread will have parental abuse to a child (physical, emotional, and verbal) as well as neglect. PATHOS thread will have severe dissociation and assisted suicide.

Please indicate in the subject line if you're specifically looking for a mod response to a tag. A simple o7 will do! Otherwise I will use my judgment about where to pop in.

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Can you tell us anything about this person?

[ If the person is stuck in the game but not an Etrayan, that means there are other games. Regardless, contact between Etrayans and those outside is clearly possible, so if they do happen to find this person, they need to know who it is they've found. Otherwise, they might pass by without knowing, and then Scylla wouldn't receive the information.

The good will dies when he continues to speak, and Clea's eyes narrow even further. While she's previously been content standing beside or behind Setsu, more or less (mostly less) deferring to their conditional trust, now she steps in front of her companion and places herself between them. ]

That isn't what you said before. Earlier, you said 'I didn't intend for you guys to get stuck down here forever' and 'I'll take you back either way.'

[ If he's going to directly contradict himself, maybe he should wait more than five minutes between the statements. ]

What I want to happen is for you to be straight with us, but I understand that's not happening. Absent that, my desire is to ensure no imminent harm comes to us.

[ Beyond that, she... Clea's energy flags. She doesn't know. What kind of life is this? It isn't one she wants. She wants limbs that ache after a long day of dancing, a mouth to taste delights, hands that can feel the joy of clay and paint. ]

I want my body.

[ Scylla and Clea are now tied for the same place on Setsu's ranked list of "difficult people." They can't physically sigh, but in their 64-bit heart, they do.

He's not giving them room for sympathy, least of all with that detail he just dropped. Well, he said he didn't intend to leave them here, not that he intended to return them to Etraya. But...they do feel bad, knowing that the person he's after is trapped in this game, too. People can disappear at any time; Setsu learned that early. The one, solitary existence he's searching for might not be findable in the infinite universes that exist in each world. And the one, solitary universe Setsu cares about might not be savable either. But still, that's the only thing that they want to save.

Setsu gets it, if that's the case, but there's no need to share any of that—with Scylla, Clea, or anyone else. And Setsu assumes that Scylla won't share anything more about his target...for the same reason that Setsu is keeping their (figurative) mouth shut.

When Clea steps in front of them, Setsu steps to the left of here, so they can still be seen. It's a pretty protective gesture from Clea, all things considered, though Setsu is pretty sure it's that she's just tired of speaking from behind a shield.

Setsu folds their arms across their chest, and even through the speaker, their tone sounds annoyed and exasperated. ]

Scylla, that was unnecessary. [ Sadly, the heat is immediately back on him. ] The two of us both want Clea to return. There's no need to debate that. Let Clea's consciousness return to her own body.

[ Setsu says that like it's obvious, and the display on their screen is the same, slanted "annoyed" eyes. ]

I'm fine in this body. So, if it's just one or the other, then there's nothing more to discuss.

[ Honestly, agreeing to something like that is a little scary. But, you know, they never even liked the body they were born with, did they? A robotic body isn't that bad... And besides that, the way things are, they'd just continue to live, forever, struggling to find the answers to save that world, again and again... Nothing is ever solved by repeating the same routine. So, Setsu thinks, they'll take their chances here. ]

[ Scylla's face tightens in aggravation and he straightens up. When he's not casually slumping in conversation, it becomes obvious how tall he is, which is to say, very. He has a greater presence that way, suddenly becoming the only person or entity that's ever managed to sneak into one of Echo's private dimensions. ]

I said stop making assumptions. It wasn't a threat -- I will get you out of here, but there's different ways that could happen. You want to go back to your body, fine, [ he says curtly, looking at Clea. ] I can do that.

[ She'll remember all this, so that satisfies his agenda and what he was looking to accomplish.

To Setsu: ] And you? Most people would be pretty weirded out having two of themselves in one place. Right now, Aurora doesn't know you exist, so she isn't monitoring you.

[ In other words, they could feasibly leave. ]

[ Ah. There it is. Clea had known it was there. The arrogance that comes with power. How had she known? She's wielded it herself. She understands how satisfying it can be, how one's patience wears thin when one is questioned by those one considers beneath them. ]

You can say it all you like.

[ Because she also knows another satisfaction: Not giving in. If he could compel obedience, he would, and she sees no reason to give it to him. She will make all the assumptions she wants if she thinks it is going to help her world and her family, his opinion on her be damned. Nor does she care that he's clearly annoyed: Does he think she's not?

She's the one that's going to die when she's placed in a human body back in Etraya. Perhaps. Not if she kills the other Clea first...she doesn't know she exists. An attack of surprise. Preemptive. Suffocating her in her bed, perhaps.

Clea looks over at Setsu, who clearly would rather stand on their own. ]

If you had a choice, would you live in Etraya with that body? Or would you prefer to live somewhere else with your real body?

[ Scylla can be quiet for a moment. This question is important and has nothing to do with him. ]

[ When he straightens, Setsu steps forward—not in front of Clea again, but beside her. They sort of forgot what it was like to have men do this grandstanding thing, even though it's so common in the military... They can't say they missed that. It kind of makes them forget their weird thoughts for the moment; now they're just annoyed.

But, still, he's not an enemy, so much like a fellow soldier, Setsu pretends they don't notice what he's doing. They listen to him, then to Clea, and in the end, Clea's the one they turn their head to face. They bow their head in thought. ]

Honestly, neither... I think this could be a good opportunity, with two of me working on this. Etraya isn't that big. The "other me" can handle it on their own. If "this me" can leave and investigate outside of it, without Echo's influence, then we might learn something that will let us figure out how to end this.

[ Now that they say that, they actually feel a little better about it. It's oddly relieving—scary in a familiar way.

This isn't just about Setsu, though. Their voice turns firmer as they continue. ]

However... Clea, I don't want you to have to deal with your other self alone. Even if I leave, the other me will still back you up. Okay? Regardless of what our bodies are like, I want to look out for both of us.

[ Yes, yes, he's a terrible grandstanding man and not a gender-ambiguous demi-god-like-being who has much better things to do than explain himself repeatedly. He could compel obedience, for the record, but just like telepathy he tends to find that tacky.

And immoral, of course, but really, he just doesn't need to descend to that level. It's crass.

He folds his arms and mutely lets them hash it out. He could offer some reassurances, but Scylla is annoyed enough that Clea will just have to find out the hard way. Making her a separate body is too great an expenditure of power for him to do casually, so he's planning on something else. ]

[ An odd response, but one that Clea accepts. It is Setsu's decision. If she prefers this form, Clea may not understand, but understanding is not necessary. She herself has unorthodox preferences. She can respect the decision even if she would make a different one, and she can appreciate the tactical and strategic value it brings. ]

We would need to ensure you can communicate with those of us in Etraya and that you were somewhere that could allow for maintenance on your current body.

[ Setsu had mentioned that as a concern before they'd both understood what was happening. If Setsu stays in this body but ends up on a world that can't take care of it, they'd be in trouble, and that might render their strategic usefulness moot.

Clea's eyes slant when Setsu offers her other self's assistance, but it isn't a sad or thinking slant. It rather more gives off the impression the robot is plotting. ]

That will make it easier to kill her.

That's true... If I can at least reach the barrier outside Etraya, it shouldn't be a problem to connect with Gorgug... [ Who could potentially perform maintenance. ] I guess it depends on where I go. It's kind of hard to plan this out...but I'll figure it out as I go.

[ Despite only respecting Scylla as much as they respect any other resident of Etraya, Setsu isn't unaware of the fact that he's the one holding the keys in this situation and he doesn't want to wait around. Especially when his patience already seems to be running out...

—and then Clea suggests murder. ]

Huh? [ Setsu's eyes flash to a pair of shocked, hollow rings before slanting in concern. ] Wait, I thought you wanted your organic body back? You can't kill the other you and preserve the body. There should be a way to transfer your consciousness back...

[ Probably? This whole thing is way outside of Setsu's field of knowledge. They just don't want the Clea they know to die... ]

You will place Setsu where they desire.

[ This is directed toward Scylla. If Setsu is to keep this form, then they must be somewhere that their body can be maintained. Something about this does not sit well with Clea, even though she barely understands much of it. She does understand lying and subterfuge: had lived her life with a liar underfoot. Clea has developed a sense for when someone is hiding things from her, and the way Scylla speaks makes a gut she does not have turn in suspicion.

Clea looks back at Setsu. ]

I do. Either he will make me another one, or I will need to take hers. She'll hardly relinquish it voluntarily.

[ She wouldn't, herself, and the other Clea is her. Or rather, she is the other Clea, simply less powerful. Not as real. Not until she takes her body back for her own. They had pretended to be a different Clea before. Nobody will know the difference. ]

I need to kill her before she kills me.

[ The solution is simple and clear. Erase Clea. ]

[ Scylla is duplicitous in that annoying slippery way people have when they've decided in advance who they'd be willing to hurt for their goals and how far they'd take them. He prefers to be honest, he prefers to be kind, but that's completely secondary to what he needs to do, and his assessment of what's needed slides from moment to moment, labile and responsive to circumstance. He generally does like people.

He does not like Clea. He does not appreciate being ordered around and ignored repeatedly, and the murder plotting is tiresome and honestly bordering on histrionic. Reality is ripping apart and this is what she's fixating on? Does she even realize how much Echo is doing stabilizing their existence, and what the alternatives are?

Of course not. ]

Okay, let's nip this in the bud, [ he says stridently, walking forward, suddenly cool and focused. ] You're not going to kill each other, and you don't get to tell me what to do.

[ Scylla reaches out a hand to Clea inhabiting the companion bot and it takes only a moment. Physical contact isn't necessary, truthfully the dramatic gesture isn't even necessary, but he still has a human mind and he likes the ritualistic aspects. His hand closes in the air on nothing and draws back with an opalescent crystal in it, something shimmering and indistinct escaping from between his fingers, and the companion bot Clea had been inhabiting slumps to the ground in a limp clatter.

Because he does usually like people and he isn't a complete asshole, he turns to Setsu immediately to explain. ]

I'm just going to combine them -- merge their memories. It respects her wishes and prevents any self murder. And frankly, [ he adds dryly, hand twisting and the shimmering opal vanishing, ] it sounds like they deserve one another.

[ This body's reaction time isn't quick enough to catch Clea before her robotic body crumbles to the ground, though their display shows "shock" again as it happens. It's only a deactivated bot now, but even so, seeing her like that is hard...

Scylla's quick explanation, at least, stops Setsu from reeling on him in retaliation.

Their screen flips back to its "concerned" expression. Whatever he did falls firmly in the realm of "something like magic," and they don't really understand it, but they can put the pieces together. Kneeling down, Setsu ejects the cortex chip from Clea's body and folds it in their hand before rising to their feet again. They don't know what he did, but they'll respect Clea's wishes as well: No backups. When enough time has passed that they're confident that the merge is complete, they'll break this chip, too. ]

I guess that's the best possible outcome for her... Not much time has passed, so hopefully, adjusting won't be too difficult. [ At least they're truly the same person; even if one consciousness fights and overtakes the other, it will still be Clea.

And—right, Clea had ordered him to send them wherever they wanted to go... Truthfully, Setsu doesn't fully trust Scylla, but, with no other option but to do so, their next best bet is to at least present themself as useful and cooperative. They don't need to go out of their way to lie about it, either. ]

As for myself... Let's choose a location that will be strategically useful, but not one where this kind of body will stand out too much. Besides the obvious, I would also be pretty useless if I broke down and could neither work nor report back... Since you said yourself that you're not skilled with computers, then I'm guessing that installing something for automatic maintenance isn't possible. [ But they have to present that idea, just in case it is. ] And, as I said before, as long as our goals aren't in conflict with each other, then we can work together. I'd like to find anything I can, to save the world I care about.

[ They might as well say what their goal is, if they're going to make that a condition. Not their world, or even more than one reality. One world, with a future. If they can protect that, then...they can accept all the consequences that come with that choice. Not every version of themself would agree with that, but the "other Setsu" that's here, at least, would. ]

[ It's that easy for Scylla to pull someone's soul out of their form, and that he isn't flexing his abilities all the time is because he is truly trying to retain what he can of his humanity. He has enough of that left to realize how paternalistic he could become if he doesn't keep it in check.

Echo is example enough of that.

In this case it seems like the right thing to do -- the best possible outcome for her, as Setsu said -- and whether Clea has any difficulty adjusting will be up to her. Scylla is more than skilled enough to make the merge seamless, no need for one consciousness to try to fight the other. Meanwhile, Setsu is much easier to deal with. They're practical enough for him to reason with, and he agrees with their goal wholeheartedly, because it more or less matches his: save a specific person or a specific world first. ]

I know just the place. Organic sentient life died out with the degradation of their world, and it's inhabited by the robots they left behind. But I think the old civilization might have found something before they went. The records should still be there.

I stood out a little too much to get anywhere on my own, [ Scylla explains with a note of wry humor. ] You'll fit right in.

[ This isn't busywork; this is a lead he really thought might have potential, he just hadn't been able to follow up on it in the current state he's in. They seem competent and their mindset matches his on priorities -- Scylla is getting desperate enough not to hold anything back. ]

[ They fold their arms, head bowing slightly in thought. An entire planet inhabited by robots... They wonder if it's something like Kanaan 579. If so, they can begin to think of how to handle getting around in that kind of world. At the very least, although it's a solo mission, they won't be completely alone there, and the technology level should be high enough to ensure they're continued well-being... Short of making enemies there and being dismantled, they guess.

With his last comment, they lift their head, dot eyes rising and falling as if scanning him over. ]

Yeah, I can see that. [ And back to business. ] But I agree. Compared to most people, I can work with that kind of world. If you've been there before, then any other information you've gathered about its culture will help me acclimate to it more quickly. We'll also need to decide how and when we'll relay updates to one another. As far as I'm aware, this body can't send out any signals on its own.

[ It's still hard to truly plan anything, but they've done nothing but adapt with limited information for a long time now. They'll adapt here, too, and figure out how to achieve the goals the two of them have set out. For the sake of their friend's future. ]

[ Scylla is nothing close to a trained operative in anything, but he is focused and pragmatic by nature and he sees the sense in sharing some details with Setsu before they leave. He can do a quick debrief. ]

They've entombed the remaining living organic sentients in long-term cryosleep and made them part of a hive mind called the Continuum, [ he answers, almost brisk. Setsu's social signals clearly indicate to him that putting on more of an empathetic show won't be to his advantage, so he drops it entirely. ]

I couldn't exactly talk to them myself. You might have to interface with the hive mind to get anywhere... not that I'd know how that works. [ He frowns, thinking about their communication problem. ] I'll put something together that will let us stay in contact, but it'll take me a bit since it's crossing dimensions. [ And he doesn't want to just beam into their head because he really isn't that comfortable doing that too often in the first place, much less doing it while also messing around with computers. ]

I can drop it off when I figure it out -- and make sure you haven't been fully sucked into the hive mind, [ he adds helpfully. ]

[ If they get too emotional, they won't be able to move forward. Setsu doesn't spare an emotional response to that, either. Not quite like Kanaan 579, then. Actually, it's something more familiar... They can't say they like that. But for the sake of that world, they'll put those thoughts behind them. ]

I see. I'll do my best to avoid getting sucked in, too...

[ If they had a face, it would be smiling awkwardly now. Instead, there's just a pause as Setsu thinks on this. Their even tone of voice and their guarded manner are all business. ]

Most likely, the hivemind is being maintained in some way. Human consciousnesses, when separated from their bodies, need to be continually maintained or they'll stagnate. I'll see what they're doing with the hivemind, but connecting through the maintenance route might be the best way to interface with it without becoming part of it.

[ Setsu says all this as though it's very normal, very unclassified information. With luck, "maintenance" in this case won't leave them permanently changed, but if it does...then, at worst, once this mission is complete, "this Setsu" can come to an end, too. ]

... Since you have to cross dimensions anyway, when you deliver the device, can you provide me with an update, on one world? [ Probably not, but they shoot their shot before adding: ] Either way, I'll be leave communications to you for now.

[ That's all they can really say. They have no way to crossing dimensions—least of all without the Silver Key—so if they're doing this, they just need to accept the risks and prepare their own precautions. ]

I'd have to know how to find it, [ he answers in a dubious tone, knowing exactly what they're getting at and why they're asking. ] Sorry. It's actually pretty hard to keep track of specific dimensions -- it's not like there's a directory.

[ Finding the exact specific version of the world Setsu is interested in would be as much of a fool's errand as the one Scylla is currently on, except he has no personal interest in it. He'd have to expand his being so significantly in order to achieve it that he's not sure he'd get it back down to this size again, and he likes being this size. Scylla does not want to literally actually be a god. It sounds horrible. ]

You sound like you know what you're doing with the hivemind, so you have a better shot than me.

I need to go drop off this soul -- can you wait here? It shouldn't take long.

[ That sounds reasonable to Setsu. It's impossible for them to know what is and isn't possible with things like magic—and that's what Scylla is using—but even magic works on some form of logic. The fact there are simply too many dimensions out there to locate a single one makes logical sense; it brings to mind the ancient phrase "like finding a needle in a haystack."

Although their eyes fall in disappointment, none of that feeling is directed at Scylla, at least.

And quickly enough, Setsu's face display is back to its default state and looking up at him, though there's an awkward pause before they finally answer: ]

... All right. Thank you, for taking care of her. I'll wait here until you're ready.

[ Their voice comes out uncomfortable and stilted. Not Clea's "consciousness," but her "soul"... Can even souls be duplicated? The chip in their hand suddenly feels heavier. They had been trying not to think about whether one's consciousness is their soul. Now that they are, it feels harder to think, "I'll just end this existence if I need to."

They don't actually want to die...

... That's right. They only have one life now. They won't come back or restart if things go wrong. And Scylla is right: They have the basic understanding for how to handle this mission. They'll have a better grasp on what "the Continuum" is and how it operates once they're on location. Their current objective hasn't changed, in the end. They've always only had one shot, so there was never a chance to be reckless.

No response from Setsu's lack of sympathetic nervous system, but they still feel a little better for grounding themself again...and shelving the worries about their two souls.

And instead begin to think: While Scylla is gone, maybe they can restore the network before they go, so Catherine at least has access to it back in the dimension this building is supposed to be in... ]

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MISSION 011 Sidelogs

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