etrayalogs | MISSION 004 (part 1)

MISSION 004 (part 1)

WHO: Everyone!
WHEN: July 19th-July 27th.
WHERE: Moorecroft Village
WHAT: Enjoy life in your new suburban neighborhood!
NOTES\WARNINGS: Potential death.

⏵ welcome home ⏴
Welcome to Moorecroft Village, where the sun casts a gentle glow through soft white clouds. Pavement paths wind around the village, adorned with wildflowers in every hue. Birds sing a soothing melody, while a few content cats lounge in sunspots or on benches along the streets. Cars hum by, ferrying residents to work, the store, or back home after a busy day.

It looks almost perfect. The ideal little village, occupied by individuals from all over. Orcs, elves, faeries, werewolves, vampires, and dhampirs coexist harmoniously, each contributing to their quaint little town. Despite their varied backgrounds, they appear to embrace this place as their own. They take their baby carriages out during the day for a stroll, chatting with friends and neighbors about current happenings, discussing their most recent mission (a ‘game’ of Whodunit, in which one of theirs, Theo, was tasked with killing one of their own each day and they all had to figure out who had killed them before they could come back to life) and the difficulties therein, new job assignments, weird things the teens in their houses are getting up to... generic, neighborly conversations.

The village is full of life. There are numerous facilities to wander and things to do! The library houses a vast collection of books spanning history from countless other worlds and whimsical children's tales. Teens gather at the ice skating rink, while the movie theater screens films spanning generations. An aquarium full of wonders: glowing rainbow fish, miniature great white sharks, a colorful octopus with patterns running over it that almost look like ivy, and numerous others.

In the daytime, everyone can explore clothing stores, indulge in gourmet cakes from the grocers, and partake in leisurely pursuits without financial concerns; just like on Etraya, money does not exist here.

⏵ help wanted ⏴
Moorecroft surpasses Etraya in its development, offering attractions and activities to engage its inhabitants throughout the day. But with these advancements come additional responsibilities. By day, at least one adult from every household is expected to fulfill their shifts at 'day jobs', lasting anywhere from four to eight hours. Meanwhile, the youth are expected to go to school, absorbing knowledge in various disciplines.

Each job duty requires different skillsets, but whether or not those required skillsets are matched to those who are expected to work them... well. They’ll have plenty of time for training, won’t they? Or perhaps they’ll get dropped right into their job and be expected to figure it out all on their own.

For the younger residents, education is structured into two main institutions: "Sandalwood Lower" for those twelve and under, and "Maplewood Upper" for older students. These schools offer a broad curriculum encompassing Language Arts, Mathematics, Science, Physical Education, Technology, Fine Arts, and a diverse array of Foreign Languages. Electives range widely, from specific sports to Survival Training, Creative Writing, Journalism, and Sociology.

At lunchtime, the school cafeteria presents an array of choices. Options range from standard fare like school pizza to other offerings such as vampire's blood, brains, and hearts—just in case an unexpected guest should drop in. After all, one never knows who might show up in Moorecroft.

⏵ honey do's ⏴
But life extends beyond work and school. A structured routine of what is expected of each household is kept on digital calendars, and installed on the wall in the kitchen of each house. These calendars update daily with smaller tasks, and weekly with larger ones, detailing what is expected of those residing within its walls.

Typical tasks include simple activities such as:

Take the child(ren) for a walk outdoors.
Visit the local park.
Bake a pie for the neighbors.
Tell your spouse(s) how important they are to you.
Share a secret.
Shop with your child(ren).
Mow the lawn.
Don’t forget to attend your child’s school’s PTA meeting!
Help with homework.
Take family photos.
Go on a date.

More complex tasks are found under weekly checklists, and may involve:

Host a neighborhood barbeque competition.
Volunteer at the hospital.
Teach your child a sport.
Start a soccer league.
Create a garage band.
Get a part time job.
Join a club.

Eos will check off each task as it is completed. At the bottom of each calendar, a tally records the completion of tasks, providing a visual measure of productivity and community involvement.

⏵ night watch ⏴
As the sun lowers over the horizon, everything shifts. Every long-term resident understands the consequences of curfew and the threats within. They retreat to their homes, urging those unfamiliar to them who may not understand the rules just yet that they, too, need to return indoors for the night.

Within the confines of their houses, life continues under a fragile veil of normalcy. A peek into some of the homes of long-term residents will find them playing board games with their family units, completing homework or work assignments they were unable to finish during the day, watching a few family-friendly shows on their couches, or enjoying a late dinner. Eventually, they’ll return to their beds and wait for the sound of their alarms.

In Moorecroft, no friendly companion bots roam the streets during the day. In their place, highly advanced robots emerge to enforce curfew once the time comes. They silently make their way through the streets, sweeping away anything that isn’t part of Eos’ design: trash left out on the street, bugs left by suspicious men wearing cowls that have ears on them, graffiti, new decor that Eos decides she doesn’t like. No winds shake the trees, there are no cars on the road, but noises can be heard coming from outside that don't sound... normal by any means. Croaks, whispers, scratches against doors and walls alike.

Those who defy curfew will be asked, once, to return to their homes. If they opt not to listen, they are met with force: physically restrained, subdued, and dragged back to their homes. If they decide to fight, the bots are not above killing them and dropping their limp bodies just inside the front door of their houses. They will revive after 48 hours but not without cost. Each return carries an absence—a missing memory, a lost skill, or a fragment of their very essence, stolen away in the process of their revival.

Even those who manage to evade capture will awaken in their beds with no recollection of their death or what they may have witnessed before dying. They will instead have a vague feeling that something horrifying happened.

⏵ NOTES ⏴

Daily and weekly tasks can be chosen by players! We won't be listing these out for each household, but relying on players to choose what's most fun for them to play with within their households.

As noted on Mission Plotting, we're open to one group successfully staying out past curfew, but would like to keep this to one thread.

We have a separate log for NPC interactions for this mission!

For any questions relating to the contents of this log, mod queries thread on the initial plotting post to assist us in keeping all mission-related information in one place. All other questions can be directed to the FAQ.
⏵FULL NAVIGATION⏴

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Apparently it sure wasn't Riz that Fabian was expecting.

Because if it was, surely he wouldn't have greeted the other in the way he does - which is by running into the room he hears the sound of someone breaking in coming from, his sword already in hand and raised like he's ready to strike.

Thankfully he does take a look at the intruder to see who it is before he does said striking, which means he immediately lowers his sword again and lets out a sound that sounds half-relieved and still half-startled. ]

Sheesh, The Ball, I have a door! [ Granted, if any of Fabian's friends would enter through the window, it'd be Riz, right.

That fact makes this situation a little less surprising. Fabian doesn't have to question why Riz didn't just use the door when he can just dismiss it as a Riz thing. Maybe he thinks this is the cool way to start a sleepover or something.

Though for Riz - especially for Riz, but really, you don't need real detective skills to spot any of this - it's easy to notice that Fabian's house seems a little.. strange. He's been careful to not invite any of the other Bad Kids over, always making sure to hang out with them either at one of their places here or in some public area, despite being the sole Bad Kid here who's got a house to themselves. The reason for it might become rapidly obvious now, when Riz is in side the house and he can see how messy and dirty everything is. Fabian can't hide the mess in some unused room here the way he could in that huge manor back home, so even just the room Riz snuck into is messy all over. Stuff that was never put away, mysterious stains that sometimes seem to have had a vague attempt at getting cleaned, yet a wildly unsuccesful attempt. Fabian himself isn't looking much different. There's a similar stain on the shirt he's currently wearing, and though he's made an attempt to pull his hair back the way he always does, there's hair sticking out from it on all sides, the bun even messier than it usually is.

And he looks tired. Especially here, in the low lighting inside the house rather than out in the open where he's tried to be his usual, energetic self-- Fabian looks so tired.

And yet, despite everything surrounding them, it's like Fabian is still trying to sound like his usual self. Like he can deny everything by just not mentioning it, and instead saying: ]

Did you think I was going to say no to a sleepover or something?

Maybe?

[ He did think that, actually. Fabian has been cagey these days, even cagier than normal, and it hasn't escaped Riz's attention that he hadn't been letting any of them hang out at his place even though it's the only obvious place for them to hang out in. He has the entire place to himself. If not for the whole baby situation, Riz would be jealous; living by himself and being given a job that gives you carte blanche to snoop like a police officer is basically the dream.

But it seems to be less so for Fabian, something he's beginning to realize as his head swivels on an axis, taking in the absolute mess that's been made of his house. He'd known that Fabian and cleaning don't really go well together and that he'd grown up with a maid to clean up all his messes, sure, but...

He thought that Fabian didn't want to. Not that Fabian didn't know how. Nobody really wants to live like this, least of all a guy as fastidious about his appearance as Fabian Aramais Seacaster. ]

Dude.

[ Riz sounds appalled -- but maybe not for the reasons Fabian may think. ]

Is this why you wouldn't let any of us in here? [ He meets Fabian's eyes, brow crinkled in concern. This isn't a good look on Fabian. This is how Riz is supposed to look, not him. He should be -- Riz doesn't know, enjoying eight hours of sleep on gajillion thread count sheets tucked in a fluffy king-sized bed. ] We would've helped, you know. I will be helping, [ he amends firmly. ] After dinner, if you haven't eaten yet. I brought real food too, not just snacks. You want some?

[ Okay. He'd wanted to check in on Fabian, but there's a new order of business: get an actual meal into him, check in on whatever's going on, and maybe try to encourage him to get a good night's sleep while Riz tackles this mess and keeps an ear out for that horrible little AI baby stirring in the middle of the night for no goddamn reason. ]

What?! No, I--

[ His voice practically raised an entire octave between those words, and Fabian looks-- He looks a whole lot of things. Still tired, but there's a whole lot of emotions setting in as well as he stares at his friend. First there's surprise, but then the surprise turns into a stronger shock, and a moment later he looks a weird mix of appalled and horrified.

He moves his hands awkwardly, like he isn't sure what to do with them, and then just lets his sword drop to the floor, clattering against the floorboards. ]

There's nothing! There's nothing, The Ball! There's-- This just happened!

[ Fabian gestures around them at that last part, as if 'this' is supposed to mean the general state of this house.

Which definitely does not look like even a hurricane would be capable of causing this only 'just now.' Nor would it explain the way Fabian himself looks in this moment. ]

I'm fine, okay? [ There's something almost offended in his tone, but it's not so strong as the sheer panic that's setting in. It's audible in his tone, visible in his body language.

Fabian is freaking the fuck out. ]

I'm fine! Everything is fine! You can just-- go, and I'll make it all fine! You didn't see anything..! [ It's hard to tell if the person he's trying to convince with his words is Riz, or whether it's Fabian himself. ]

Past curfew. Couldn't leave if I wanted to.

[ Did he time it specifically for that reason? Yes. Yes, he did. And now he sees that it was the wisest choice he could've made; he doesn't think that without that looming threat that Fabian would actually kick him out, but he'd probably do his damnedest at getting rid of him, god knows why. They're best friends. That means you take the good with the bad, and you lend a hand when your best friend happens to be two years older and therefore assigned a goddamn baby.

But this goes well beyond just Fabian being overwhelmed by household chores. Things have been weird for a while now, and right now? It looks like he's just spinning out. He can recognize that look in Fabian's eyes, the barely withheld panic in them, the fear that he's been caught out lacking, doing what he wasn't supposed to be doing, that he's out of control. And Riz can identify that for the simple reason that he knows that's precisely how he looked when Fabian walked into him and his storm of notes.

He walks over to Fabian and, too short to properly clasp his shoulder as he'd like to, settles for placing one hand on his upper arm instead, a little frown tugging at the side of his mouth. He's not great at this emotional stuff. He knows he's not. But he's got two great parents to think back to, and he's spent entirely too long in Jawbone and Ragh's aggressively positive presence. He can do this. ]

Dude, it's -- you know it's okay if you're not fine, right? [ Sure, Fabian had gone through a whole awakening over Sophomore Year. But that didn't fix things. Fabian's deep panic at the idea of not being a pirate like his father, of not being a good leader, the hero, of how he looks and how he acts -- everyone knows it. You don't just lose that overnight. Sometimes it just turns into something else. ] You're not, like, letting any of us down, or anything like that. Just let me help.

[ He looks around. It's a disaster zone. Fabian's a disaster zone. ]

Maybe after some food, and a change of clothes? I can keep an eye on the... baby.

You don't get it.

[ It sounds like the words are ripped straight out of him, somehow. Fabian's tone is so off, maybe only reminiscent of the last time he had a terrible, terrible breakdown and almost didn't get to pull back from it at all. It's like he doesn't even want to be saying these words, but they tumble right out of his mouth all the same.

The look in his eyes matches that sentiment. It's so upset. So desperate. Riz is right about something here-- Fabian is, clearly, not fine.

So not fine that he can't even keep up the act of pretending to be fine, no matter how unconvincing it already was. ]

I.. [ He opens his mouth, then closes it. Like he doesn't know how to convey this to Riz, or how to even put it in words for anyone, himself included. ] It's not okay if I'm not fine. I have to be fine.

[ For so many reasons. Because even with some of the things he's unlearned, Fabian still needs to feel like he's strong in some way. Because he can't afford to be not okay when they're in a place he can't trust. Because he has to prove something. Because he has to be okay with the situation back home, so he has to be okay with this here too.

His tone is almost like he's begging Riz to understand.

At least it's not an aggressive sentiment - at least, in the sense that he doesn't sharply pull away from the other's physical contact or anything.

He just lets it happen, despite his pleading.

Despite the fact that his eye is getting oddly shiny, like it's starting to fill itself with tears that aren't falling just yet. ]

I have to be fine! [ He repeats. ] I have to prove I can do this!

[ The last time Fabian had dissolved like this, Riz hadn't said a word.

Everyone else had. Everyone else was so loud, and so busy, and so curious (and a little bit inappropriate), but Riz hadn't known what to do or say, had been completely lost for what the right thing to say was, and so he didn't say a damn thing. All he did was stand by and watch his dearest friend dissolve, cave into himself, weaken. He'd thought that what he had to contribute to that whole situation wasn't what he could say, but what he could do -- watch after him, make sure nothing else bad happened.

Well, he knows now how that panned out. He'd failed in his duty, endangered Ragh's Mom, and Fabian had gone off and gotten horribly sick, even worse off than he'd been before, battered and broken. He'd thought to himself back then that if this were ever going to happen again, then he wouldn't make that same mistake of staying silent. That older, wiser version of himself would have something to say.

Only... he doesn't. He wishes anyone else were here - a though he'd never voice aloud to Fabian, lest he interpret it as Riz just not wanting to deal with his shit, instead of wanting someone who actually knows the right thing to say to swoop in - but they're not. It's just him and Fabian. This is, essentially, what he came here for. Because he knew that Fabian wasn't well.

He just didn't know how unwell. ]

Prove to who, Fabian?

[ He doesn't move his hand from Fabian's forearm, as though that alone can somehow convey his care and worry. ]

You're right. I don't understand. But if you explain it to me, you can help me understand.

[ Maybe he should be giving him a hug, like Kristen would, or telling him it's all going to be okay, or give him some sort of pep talk, or observe something that can cut to the heart of the matter with some incisive, intelligent remark. But that's just not the kind of person he is.

He deals with facts, logic, reason. So if he doesn't know what's happening, all he can do is ask. He already has a file on Fabian, unbeknownst to his friend -- the oddity of his desperation for them all to stick together, live together, the strangeness that came over him with the Sirens, that gleam in his eye as he frantically tries to be the glue of a group that never needed him to be the glue.

Something terrible's happened in between now and when Fabian is from. He just needs to figure out what it is. ]

[ If you explain to me, Riz says. Like it's that easy, when - of course - it's not. If this was just something Fabian could explain, he would have done so a long time ago. But he can't. Exactly because he has to be fine, and if he starts explaining that, then it means he's no longer fine. Not to mention that all of his friends are too busy anyway, and he doesn't want to burden them, and even though that technically doesn't apply to this Riz yet, it's not like Fabian wants to screw up the future by letting Riz know about all of this now. He doesn't even know what the consequences of that would be.

So Fabian just.. stands there. He doesn't look angry. He just looks.. kind of helpless. Despite the fact that he's so much taller than Riz and a few years older, he looks a whole lot like a lost child in this moment. One of those lost children you find on the street, and when you try to get them to explain who their parents are or where their house is to help them back home, they absolutely can't tell you.

A part of him feels like crying, and that just feels worse. He can't just start sobbing in front of his friends, and he's blinking rapidly to try and get rid of the water that's gathering in his eye.

.. will talking make it stop? Maybe? He doesn't want to talk for all the reasons above, but he needs something else to focus on for a moment, or he will really start to cry. And he doesn't want to. He has never wanted to cry less than right now. ]

I have to be fine while mama is gone.

[ And, sure. Technically this place is unconnected to that. But it felt similar. A house all to himself. A house he doesn't know how to keep clean, where he doesn't know how to cook, where he doesn't know how to do anything. The second time he's been wildly out of his depth in a relatively short time.

Alone and helpless. Everything he shouldn't be. ]

I'm a Seacaster. [ His own man, sure. Maybe not fully in his father's shadow anymore, but that doesn't change the fact he's a Seacaster. If there's anything he's learned ever since a young age, it's holding your own. ] I have to be able to handle all of this on my own.

No you don't, [ Riz says promptly, before he can even think about what he's saying. He knows that he should take a step back and consider things, but it just feels like the most obvious thing in the world: nobody should have to handle life all on their own. Let alone Fabian who has always been, even if it was expressed in questionable ways, surrounded by love in one way or another, be it from his horrible father or his terrifying maid.

So his Mom leaving had done all this. It's one thing Riz hadn't been able to anticipate, or at least hadn't been able to anticipate to this extent. Sure, Fabian had seemed a little off when he mentioned it the first time, but Riz had chalked it up to some residual hurt feelings, not this sort of... colossal breakdown. He'd figured that Hallariel had spent most of Fabian's life drunk in some weird elven haze, and that there wasn't much of her presence in his life to miss. In hindsight, how had he missed it? Fabian's eagerness for them to live together, for Riz not to get his own office even after fucking up his space, doing everything as a team -- it wasn't because of Riz. It had been because he hadn't wanted to be alone.

That makes a lot more sense. ]

You don't have to do it alone. You don't have to do any of this alone, as long as I'm around and -- and I actually know about it. I'd break out of that fucking house they want me in every night if you wanted me to. [ He runs a hand through his hair, cheeks puffing out as he exhales. He's speaking slowly, haltingly, deliberately. It's never been easy for him to get the words out properly. ] I might not be a Seacaster, but I couldn't do all this by myself either.

[ There's no trace of shame when he says that. It's a reality he'd accepted long ago. He needs other people. He needs them badly, even when he pretends as though he doesn't. ]

Even your Dad can't do it on his own. What's the first thing he did when he got to Hell, huh?

[ The man had been dead for a couple months, and already had an entire crew. And then he had the gall to tell Fabian that Seacasters had to be lone wolves? What a fucking hypocrite. He really can't stand that guy. ]

[ The words - in some ways - only make Fabian's expression look even more complicated. Because he knows Riz is right. He knows that his friends would do whatever they could if he just told them, but.. that was the entire thing, right? He couldn't tell them. He couldn't tell them for his own sake - because it would break some sort of pride Fabian has, some sort of sense that he has to be able to do these things, his mother wouldn't leave him alone if she didn't believe he could do this - or for their sakes, considering they have so much else to worry about. Especially back home, but.. even in this place, considering everything they're dealing with.

It's a difficult, complicated thing. It's like the feeling coils up inside of his gut, sitting there uneasily. Fabian doesn't even know what to say, or how to address it.

.. which might make it a good thing that Riz moves on to say more. To say something that Fabian does know how to respond to, even if he first has to rub at his eye in an attempt to keep any tears from falling. ]

That is different. Papa-- He sees those people as his crew. He sees them as beneath him.

[ Something Bill had made very clear to him for pretty much all his life. (Fabian can only imagine the sort of reaction he'd have to being suggested that he has friends. Probably another unhinged monologue.) And Fabian, never having been in the position to meet any other kids his own age or become friends with them, only had that idea drilled into him that entire time.

And yet-- When push came to shove, when he finally was around his peers.. He just couldn't do the thing his father asked of him. ]

I don't want servants.

[ Ironic thing to say for Fabian "Rich Kid" Seacaster, but he doesn't mean it in that sort of way. It's more just.. that that's the only form of help that's ever been laid out to him as acceptable, and he refuses to think of his friends in that sort of way. It's why it was always fine if he was struggling as long as his friends were okay.

He looks a weird combination of sad - his eye is still very watery, despite his attempts at stopping that - and shy as he adds: ]

I would never see you guys like that.

We know that.

[ They didn't at first. There had been an air around Fabian, that Freshman Year, that he was the Captain of this ship and everyone else was beneath him -- a truth that Riz had eagerly accepted at the time. But it had become rapidly clear what made him think that way and how fucking miserable it actually was. It wasn't just a case of Fabian just wanting friends. The idea of being in charge and above them seemed to make him actively miserable, no matter how much bluster he hid it behind. ]

But the thing is, Fabian... having help from your crew, or servants, or whatever doesn't mean that you're doing it on your own. It just means you're rich. The fact that you'd rely on us instead doesn't make you weaker. It just means that enough people give a shit about you that they'd help without having to get paid for it.

[ Riz isn't a believer of the old adage that money can't buy you happiness. It's the sort of thing people say to make themselves feel better, as though having a roof that doesn't leak, or food on the table, or the ability to afford a doctor wouldn't make you happier in the long run. But what he's learned from Adaine and Fabain is that having extravagant amounts of cash just seems to make you miserable. His brow creases. ]

C'mon, man. You know how relieved I was when you agreed to living together? I don't wanna do this alone either. I can't.

[ It's hard for him to admit that sort of thing, the words wrenched out of his mouth as he gives a little bit of himself away too. To make it even, he thinks. Fabian just looks so sad, so lost, and he knows that Fabian's insides will be curdling with horror the moment he has a moment alone to consider their conversation. Even so, he's being honest; he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself in a way that Fabian can't, but emotionally speaking, Riz Gukgak in an empty home for prolonged periods of time is... bad. There's a reason why he had a babysitter into his teenaged years. ]

[ It just means that enough people give a shit about you that they'd help without having to get paid for it.

It's the first thing that hits Fabian. Because - sure, Cathilda has always been incredibly nice to him, and he's relied on her so much, but in the end she was technically in his father's employ. And since it's not like he's had friends before that, and that fact coupled with Bill Seacaster's teachings sure made him feel like he was forever going to have to pull himself up by his own bootstraps. To not expect help. To only rely on himself.

But.. Riz is right. The Bad Kids want to help him, and not just because they're in the same party. It helps, and it's what caused it in the beginning, but.. Fabian knows it's more than that. He knows, because he feels the same.

And then Riz just has to push it even a little further with the next part of what he says.

It makes the tears outright fall this time. Fabian swallows, like he doesn't want to make any sound to indicate he's crying, and wipes at his face with his hands - but it's pretty obvious that last part just made him cry. If not just because it might be the final straw on top of all the stress he's already had. ]

You--

[ His voice sounds like he's crying too, which Fabian only realizes after he already starts on that sentence. Almost startled by his own voice, he pauses, then tries again: ]

You also want to stick together?

[ It feels like kind of pathetic question, but-- considering all the stuff that has been piling up with Fabian for more than half a year now, it feels like a valid one to him. ]

[ Fabian cries, like, all the time.

For someone like Riz, this has always been something of a foreign concept. He can't remember the last time he cried. He got a little choked up when he was reunited with his Dad, maybe, but he'd stifled it before a single tear escaped him. The last couple of years have been emotional and hard, sure, but crying just isn't... a thing he does. Much like the other ways in which he sticks out like a sore thumb, there's a notion within him that he's just incapable of feeling certain kinds of things.

Fabian feels everything, all the time. It's part of why they balance each other out, as though he can have Fabian feel all the shit he can't, whether by nature or by design. But he's canny enough to know that this is different from when he's just touched about something, or a movie's made him emotional or even what happened back on Leviathan, when he was plainly in shock. This isn't the shock of one bad thing. It's several bad things stacked on top of each other, leaving him weary. Scared, a little, Riz thinks.

It kind of makes Riz want to throw up. But he's got a sterner intestinal tract than he did in Freshman Year, so he doesn't. It's still a close call for a second, though. ]

Of course I do! [ Riz says with such emphasis that his voice cracks a little, squeaking up an octave at the end. ] Captain Fabian and The Ball, remember? Us against the world! [ Not the whole world. It's fine. He doesn't need to correct himself. Fabian knows what he means.

A little sheepish at the blatant display of emotion, he shrugs. ] Life's better with you around. And you don't need to be cracking jokes or trying to make everyone happy the whole time, either. You just gotta... hang out.

[ He's noticed, the way Fabian does that -- and then his composure breaks, something changes, he loses his temper, he goes into a snit. Riz would be a piss poor detective if he didn't know that already.

Hopefully, awkwardly, he opens his arms. This seems like a hugging time. If it's not, then consent is important, of course, but his self-esteem may never recover. ]

[ There definitely is another call out in what Riz is saying here - because of course Riz would have noticed, even if Fabian doesn't think that anyone would have, but if there was anyone then it would be Riz and the way he's always overanalyzing everything, apparently even investigating freaking social encounters - but Fabian doesn't think too hard about it. Not while his chest already feels like it's got too much emotion inside of it, swelling so much that it can't even be contained.

So rather than saying anything, he just.. moves to grab Riz.

You see - Riz hugs need a little bit more calculation going on than hugs with most people, given the height difference. And since Fabian would feel a little bit too pathetic dropping to his knees in this moment, it's easier to just pick his friend up and pull Riz against himself that way. It doesn't seem like it's too much of a problem for Fabian's strength to hold up his shorter friend like that anyway - he just manages to hug him like this as if it's nothing, and he buries his face into Riz's shoulder.

.. sorry, bro. Your shirt is going to be super wet later. Then again, you have like twenty of those in your closet, so it's probably all good.

It's even more obvious that he's crying like this, since it's impossible to not feel the way Fabian's body lightly jerks with each sob while he's carrying Riz and clutching the other to his chest like a goblin-shaped teddy bear. ]

Sorry. [ He finally manages after a few moments of just that, the words muffled against Riz, since he's not pulling back from the hug just yet. ] I thought you-- I thought you didn't have time for me, man.

Oh --

[ He wasn't really expecting that, but then again, he could hardly expect Fabian to kneel down to his level. That would all be a bit much for him, Riz realizes, as vulnerable as he is, a wire stripped of all its insulation, unable to conceal what's within. He lets himself be picked up without batting an eye, instead wrapping his arms around Fabian's neck to try to make sure he doesn't have to hold too much of his weight on his own.

This is easier than awkwardly trying to grasp at Fabian's torso anyway, able to properly wrap his arms around him and rubbing his back in smooth, steady motions as Fabian outright sobs, the tips of his claws just barely catching on the fabric of Fabian's shirt. It's the same thing he remembers his Mom doing for him, the same thing he remembers his Dad doing for him when he was really little -- the same as he's almost certain Cathilda did for Fabian, seeing how carefully she'd doted on him back home, more mother than Hallariel ever seemed to be. Somehow, he doubts that Bill Seacaster did much in the way of comforting either.

God. Poor Fabian. How long has he been feeling this way? It's not to do with Moorecroft, not really. This has been festering inside him since long before he'd even met the rest of the Bad Kids, he's sure. ]

Hey, it's okay, [ he says quietly, resting his chin on Fabian's shoulder. This, at least, he knows how to do. ] It's okay.

[ Maybe it's not okay. But having someone hug you and tell you that it is anyway is always kind of nice. But when Fabian finally manages to muster up the energy to speak again, voice thick and water-logged, wobbly with tears, he can't help but blink in utter surprise. ]

What? [ Where the hell did he get that idea from? ] I know I get really in the zone sometimes, but that's not -- that's a me thing, not a you thing. I'm always gonna have time for you, man! That's never gonna change. I promise.

[ Maybe it's not a promise he should be making. But Riz Gukgak, here and now, can't imagine a world in which he wouldn't be able to make the time. Mysteries are mysteries, sure, but some things are important. ]

[ There is something about this that feels comforting, really. As comforting as anything could be in this situation. Despite the awkward method of hugging, the hugging itself is really nice, especially with the soothing little gestures and words.

(It does make Fabian think of Cathilda, exactly as Riz himself is imagining. She's done this exact thing for him before. She was always the one there to do it for him, his parents too often glancing over his hurt, not even realizing it was there in the first place, and Fabian longing to be a good, strong son far too much to speak up about said hurt.)

He shakes his head a little bit - something Riz may feel more than see, given how tightly the goblin is pressed against him - and Fabian moves Riz back a little. He doesn't fully lose the physical contact between them, but he's just moving them to sit down on the couch nearby - a messy couch, sure, but it's a little bit more of a comfortable place to sit together and talk than to awkwardly stand there like that.

Fabian sets Riz down on his lap because of it just feels the most natural with the way the other was clinging to his top half in the hug, but-- it's fine, bro. You can climb off there and next to him, if it's more comfortable. ]

It is going to change, but-- [ He starts to explain, tries, attempting to figure out along the way what he can or can't say when Riz has expressed the wish before to not know everything about the future for a variety of reasons. ] But it is not your fault.

[ Fabian means that. He doesn't think it's Riz's fault. It's not even his mother's fault, or his father's fault, or any of the other Bad Kids, it's just--

It's just a mess of various circumstances.

(Maybe it's his own fault.) ]

You're just going to get so busy. [ Fabian remembers. Even if this Riz won't remember, Fabian remembers his best friend running from club to club. He remembers taking a glance at Riz's schedule and feeling like he was about to faint, thinking there's no way anyone could possibly keep up with that. Even with Riz's terrible sleep habits, surely even he couldn't pull that off, right? ] And it felt like--

[ He swallows. ]

Like it would be better if I was not yet another burden on your plate.

[ Riz is all for hugs, but sitting on a bro's lap like this is a little weird -- and so he carefully peels himself off to land on the couch cushion beside Fabian. He stays close, their thighs closely pressed together, his head practically touching Fabian's arm (Fabian could still use it, he thinks, and so could he; seeing Fabian like this is kind of scary), brain ticking away as Fabian explains himself.

It clicks almost immediately. ]

So my Mom did quit.

[ He'd known she was planning on it. In fact, he's been encouraging her to -- he just hadn't realized that she would actually do it. She'd laboured away for long enough to support them, Riz had argued, and they'd come into all of that dragon's gold that they hadn't yet known he'd have to throw away. It was time for her to stop living for him, and to start living for herself.

So she quit. And it fucked them over financially. And now he's busy. Trying to get a scholarship, or working, or hustling to help get his Mom's education in order, or doing all of the above while trying to balance it with missions and school. ]

And so I got... busy.

[ Right. Hallariel and Gilear gone, Papa dearest in Hell, his best friend running around like a chicken with its head cut off. It's coming together a little more easily now, though a part of him wants to reach out and throttle his future self; how busy could he possibly get to not notice all of this? Some best friend he is. ]

But Fabian, it's not -- you're never a burden. [ He frowns, mouth pinched as he struggles to find the right words. ] You'd never be a burden. Hanging out with you is the easy part. It's everything else that sucks.

[ Presumably. He's speaking for you, future Riz, because if you can't even make time for your friends, then things are probably really fucking awful. ]

And if we really didn't have time to hang out... I think future-me probably missed you a lot too.

[ The upside of this conversation is that it's Riz. Even if Fabian didn't particularly want to tell anyone, at least Riz is the kind of person who's smart enough to be able to piece things together by himself without Fabian having to say absolutely everything. He said relatively little, yet it's like Riz somehow got the entire picture of what must be going on all the same.

The downside of this conversation is that.. well, that it's happening at all. Even if the physical contact right now is kind of nice, and even though Riz is saying nice things that do make some place inside of Fabian feel all squishy and warm, it's hard to put words to these things. It has always been for a guy like Fabian. It makes him wince a little when Riz repeats the word burden back to him - exactly the thing he said a moment ago, yes, but it feels wrong to hear it out loud like this.

Fabian knows people love him, after all. His parents, Cathilda, his friends-- He knows they don't dislike him, nor do they dislike being around him.

But there's still something there that he doesn't have words for. That he's never had words for. Not even now. ]

I know, but..

[ .. but what?

For a moment he's awkwardly quiet as the two of them sit there side by side, leaning against each other. ]

It's.. easier. [ Fabian slowly tries. ] It's easier when I'm not a problem.

[ Learning to not ask for attention from his parents when they were busy when he was younger. Training endlessly to try and get compliments and attention. Not saying a word about it when his eye was cut out, or about what he saw in the Nightmare Forest. Everything in the wake of Leviathan was the first time he had shown there was a problem with him, and that had been a Bad Thing, everyone's reactions there only confirming to him that he can't afford to be a problem.

That's what he means when he says burden. ]

.. you figured it out yourself, right? You'll have a lot of problems to try and deal with. In this place too. [ Sure, it's not school and Riz's thousand clubs and Kristen and Fig being on the verge of getting expelled, but Fabian knows just how much stress this dumb place gives them too. ] Helping me isn't the easy part. You didn't like that whole thing with the sirens either. It's just one more thing on top of everything that sucks already. So-- It's fine. I'm fine.

[ Even if this is being said while they're sitting in an overly messy room, on a couch that has likely put a stain of some Mysterious Sticky Substance on Riz's pants, with Fabian looking like an exhausted mess.

It's fine. ]

That's not... [ Riz grimaces, scratching fretfully at the back of his head, filled with enough anxious energy that it makes him want to stand up and pace around the room, set up a clueboard in the middle of Fabian's living room and figure out what the right combination of words he has to say to make him get it. He's not saying it right. He doesn't know how to take what he holds in his heart and figure out how to make it material. He always does this, talks and talks and talks in hopes that somewhere down the line, he'll stumble down the right thing to say.

It's not Fabian's fault. Fabian's hurting. He's hurting over a whole lot of things and Riz is, in some capacity, responsible for that -- his future self is, sure, but that's still him. How does he say it? Should he make a clueboard and point out every good thing Fabian brings to the table? Except then those are just things, and the only thing Riz wants - the only thing he'd wanted from the day he'd met, honestly - is just to be around him.

He doesn't know why. He just does. He's quiet for a little too long, he knows, enough for Fabian's mind to start going down darker pathways.

He turns to Fabian, claws sinking into the meat of his forearm, as gentle as a cat furling its paws into you as it kneads in your lap. His eyes are wide, intent, intense, unblinking. ] I'm not saying it right. What I'm saying is that you, Fabian Aramais Seacaster, are not a problem. And anyone who tells you that you are is an idiot, and I'll -- I dunno, I'll bite their eyes out.

[ He'll do it, Hallariel. Watch him. ]

The sirens were the problem. This place is the problem. Back home, it's -- money, and school and shit, those are problems. You're just a person who has problems.

[ He deflates a little. ]

I dunno what I'd do with myself if you weren't here, man. Even if you were a problem, you're also, like... [ His mouth curls to one side, trying to sort it out, trying to figure out how to phrase what's meaningful to him. Affording college, solving mysteries, being trapped in this place, they're all mysteries. And Riz loves a mystery. But more than that, what he wants is... ] The solution.

[ Does that sound crazy? It probably sounds crazy. He's mixing his metaphors here. ]

[ It's likely telling about how far Fabian has sunken into his own thoughts that there's not even a single bit of whining about the way Riz's claws sink into his arms like that. There's no sound about it, no single ouch, no complaint, no attempt to shake it off. Fabian just allows it to happen.

But he does look at Riz. And he does listen to the other, even if Fabian's eye has some sort of weird, far-off look in it. Unfocused, almost.

The more his friend says, though, the more the focus seems to return to the eye. ]

.. you mean that? [ He finally manages to say. His voice is more quiet than the usual, and the surprise in his tone betrays the fact that Fabian really didn't expect Riz - or anyone - to tell him this. You can only be told so many times that life is about picking yourself up by the bootstraps (yes, even as a nepo baby, considering there are other ways to have to pick yourself up than just with money when you're an adventurer) before you start internalizing your problems. Like they are part of you. Like they make you a problem.

Maybe this is the first time someone has really bothered to decouple Fabian as a person from said problems. Or at least - in a way Fabian can understand, when it comes with such sweet friendly affection being thrown his way at the same time.

For a moment he just stares like that, seemingly having to process this, before Fabian's natural embarrassment sets in hard enough for him to realize that sounded kind of pathetic. That it's not the way he's meant to sound. He ducks his head a little, the tips of his ears suddenly very dark and glowing hot. ]

I mean-- [ He's trying to summon up his usual bravado, but considering everything he's been through for the past while, it's a little harder. Even more so when he's staring at Riz, and thinking about the stuff the other just told him, and it only makes him falter in the attempt even more. ]

I'm.. um. I'm also glad you came. [ Forced himself in through the window, but, you know. You get used to the little Riz things. ] You're right. I should have asked you for help earlier. And I, uh..

[ S-Stop, this is so embarrassing to admit!! He looks embarrassed, even if he means what he's saying!! ]

I feel better when you're around.

Of course I do, you dummy, [ Riz says, lightly punching Fabian's arm, brows still creased in concern even as his mouth curls into a fond smile. Even if he felt like an idiot trying to explain what he meant, it seems like Fabian's understood perfectly -- but of course he did. Despite their rocky beginnings, nobody can speak Riz quite like Fabian can, if not only by virtue of enough forced proximity to learn the ins and outs of his mind, especially over the past few months. He doesn't like the fact that Fabian sounds surprised by all that - how, when Riz had doggedly pursued their friendship from day one? he's never made a secret of how much he likes the guy - but they can work on that.

Sometimes it's not enough just to know something. You have to hear it too. ]

I'm glad I snuck in here too. It's a good thing you like having me around, 'cause you're not ever gonna be able to get rid of me. No way was I gonna let you just stay here by yourself this whole time. [ Is that a threat? It sounds a little like a threat. ]

You know... Gorgug came over the other day, saying that he felt like we don't, like -- talk enough? About the stuff that's going on. Not in a mean way, just, he wants to be a good friend, you know? And I figured we did, because all of us talk every day.

[ He probably shouldn't have dismissed it out of hand. He leans back against the couch, allowing Fabian some freedom from his unwavering gaze. ]

But maybe he had a point. It's not so bad to say this stuff out loud sometimes too.

[ It's not usually how Riz works. He shows his love through work, like his father did, and like his father's father did. Hearing his Dad say that had been endlessly affirming in ways he couldn't put into words. But maybe... maybe that's not always the best way. It's how his Dad showed his love, sure, and Riz is so incredibly proud of him for that, but he was gone a lot, even before he died. He was gone a lot. And before he had the time to spend with Riz, he was gone.

So maybe it doesn't just have to be the work. It can be the work, and. Riz doesn't shy away from saying how he feels out of embarrassment or self-consciousness or anything like that; he can do with just saying the damn thing a little more often. If he'd known saying it would get Fabian to return the sentiment, he probably would have been saying it a lot sooner. It makes him feel all mushy inside to hear him say that. ]

Think you can manage some food now?

[ ...he's a little worried about the delivery service graveyard in this place. Time to get his bro some real food. ]

[ There's definitely something going on here when it comes to love languages being represented - in the sense that the kind that's actually shared through words isn't super present here. Just as Riz tends to show it through his work, Fabian tends to show it more through gifts. Generosity is just an easier thing to lean into than actually talking about his feelings is, if not just because he does suffer from a great amount of self-consciousness when it comes to this thing. Even if Fabian has been getting a whole lot better than he was when he first started school, it's still not always that easy.

Though it's.. kind of nice when he does manage it. Yes, he still feels faintly embarrassed, even as Riz is moving away from the specific topic, but he also feels better than he has in days.

There's just something nice in knowing he doesn't have to tackle all this by himself. And there's.. well, with the state of the house and the state of Fabian?

There's a lot to tackle.

So-- ]

Yes. I think so. [ Fabian sucks in a breath, trying to sound a little less emotional and a little bit more like his usual self again. There's only so long he can wallow in his feelings before he starts feeling truly pathetic about it, really. ] Though, uh..

[ ...

Problem #1, really. ]

I am not entirely sure what food I have in the house. [ Sure, there is food present. Fabian did at least take care of that.

But whether it's the right stuff to put together even any decent meal at all is another story entirely, really. ]

I brought some with me! Some food that my fake-parents whipped up -- [ and that Riz had stolen two servings of without asking for permission, like an asshole ] -- and a ton of snacks. I was prepared!

[ Riz knows this isn't over. He knows that one nice chat and manly cry can't overcome everything that Fabian had been grappling with. But talking about it more probably isn't going to help at this point, and maybe they can still salvage the night. Eat some good food, maybe watch a movie, spend some time where Fabian doesn't have to be thinking about his emotions (ugh) or having to take care of a robotic infant (double ugh), and that might help. Asking Ororo to make a little extra and bringing Fabian a serving on the sly every night might help too, but that's a job for Future Riz. ]

I figured we wouldn't wanna waste time cooking anyway. [ You can save face, Fabian. It's okay. ]

[ Thanks, bro. Riz is really good at making things normal right now - which is probably saying a lot, given that it's Riz.

But if there's anything Riz also is, it's a good friend, and he sure is proving that in the moment. All of this is exactly what Fabian needs. Someone who is willing to lend him a hand with getting stuff back under control here, and also is just willing to spend some normal time together with him. Like everything isn't wrong and he doesn't feel like a total fuckup. Just a moment to calm down a little bit, and not feel alone.

Though he can't help but ask, at the mention of the food: ]

.. your fake parents make you food? [ There's something a little meek still about the way he's saying it, though at least it doesn't sound quite as kicked-puppy-like as Fabian did only a few moments ago. ]

Way more than my Mom ever did, [ Riz says, patting Fabian's forearm in a friendly sort of way before leading him to the kitchen, briefcase at his side. He brings out an entire feast, putting all the little take-out containers he'd monopolized for the purpose on the counter, alongside everything any self-respecting teen would bring to a sleepover; soda, chips, popcorn, and a big bag of candies that are never quite as good as you think they are. ] I think they take the whole playing house thing, like, super seriously. I told them I could deal with it on my own, but hey, whatever makes them feel good, I guess.

[ He doesn't think they do it for him, really. They barely know him. Aside from Ororo, they've barely even spoken. He thinks that it makes them feel good to make him food because they're accomplishing the mission, or maybe because they see him as the sort of kid who can't fend for himself, as though he hasn't been making his own meals for as long as he can remember. It's not a failure on Sklonda's part, but she was never home, always busy; even when she was home for dinner, they'd frequently huddle over a shared TV Dinner (orc-sized, for maximum savings) rather than eat something his Mom actually put together with her own two hands.

He's also saying it for Fabian too, a little. He knows damn well that the Seacasters are too rich to touch a single pan with their own two hands, and he doesn't feel inclined to rub the differences in their upbringings in Fabian's face, much like Fabian never purposefully rubs his money in Riz's face. It's just one of those things. ]

Well, that's--

[ Fabian frowns.

It's like the other doesn't fully know what to say to that. Partially because - indeed - Fabian has absolutely no idea what it's like to have an actual parent cook for you when they had Cathilda to rely on back home, but also because he can't really tell how Riz feels about it from the way the other talks about it right now. It seems like he doesn't care, but Fabian does wonder if the other is trying to downplay it a little while Fabian's state is still more fragile than even Fabian himself would like it to be. ]

That's good?

[ He picks up one of the containers, pulling off the lid just to see what's inside - just to see what Riz's not-parents would make for him in the first place.

Though after catching a glimpse of it, he looks back over at his friend instead. ]

Is that good? [ B-Bro, how are you feeling about it.. Having people who aren't really your parents act like your parents.. ]

Edited 2024-11-26 19:10 (UTC)

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