tomorrow is here — closed

[demainvient]

WHO: Expedition 33 (Gustave, Maelle, Sciel, and Verso)
WHEN: post-mingle, pre-mission
WHERE: the apartments
WHAT: the remaining members of Expedition 33
NOTES\WARNINGS: spoilers for Acts 1&2 of Clair Obscur: Expedition 33

Comments

[fromfire]

"No, you may not, but I do still feel responsible for not getting there sooner." His fingers interlace a different way -- making a triangle with his index fingers. He stares through the little hole that is made toward the floor, toward the tip of his boot. "I'll be sorry for that for as long as I'm alive."

His eyes drift up as he breaks the triangle his fingers make. "But that isn't for you to soothe or bear the weight of, all right? I just want you to know that much from me." It is as he promised Maelle; he would offer information voluntarily this time around instead of waiting.

"I thought it before that it's odd to tell you how loved you are." He decides to circle back on thoughts that he had before in the casino. "I don't know if that eases anything for you, but you are so very loved by those that met you. I'm sure even those that come to meet you will feel the same."

His tone lacks the usual flirtatious tone that he would make, but sounds more solemn, sincere, warm.

Perhaps, this is all borrowed time, but just like at the water park; he wants to let Gustave think of the future, of himself, of what he meant even though he probably already knew that much.

"But thank you." It's nice that he doesn't have to explain anything about his relationship with Renoir. He feels like that eases something for him; his posture actually relaxing as he lounges against his piano.

"You don't have to imagine or sympathize." His head cants the opposite way as he smiles, soft, sad. "I think it would be rather cruel to ask you to help with anything in this matter. So you don't have to -- I realize your heart may be too big to let it go, but I'm asking you to, for yourself."

[demainvient]

Maybe one day they'll get to a point where Verso will want to tell him about his relationship with Renoir; maybe they never will. Maybe he'll be able to talk to Sciel, or Maelle; maybe he'll make some new acquaintance here he can talk to about it all. It's impossible to say, and all Gustave can offer right now, is this white flag, willingly giving up the thing he'd pressed for earlier.

It means he'll have to trust that Verso won't betray them. Maelle had said he chose us and he hadn't fully believed her, but Verso is still here, just down the hall, not retreating to find Renoir. His lips quirk, press together. "I think we've all found ourselves here still holding onto regrets from our old lives."

Verso regrets not getting to the cliff sooner. Gustave regrets stopping to throw rocks with Maelle. Lune and Sciel might regret having leaped off earlier only to be trapped by the Lampmaster down at the water. And all those are only one instance in a lifetime — in Verso's case, a lifetime that stretches over multiple lifetimes. "I know I have."

In the end, Gustave can't grant Verso absolution for not being there in time, so he only nods, leaning forward again as Verso's shoulders loosen, moving on to something else he's said. "They love you, too."

He knows he was loved, and he knows he was mourned, but it strikes something, deep inside, to hear it from Verso. He lowers his head a little, looking at the floor, before looking back up at Verso again. "I hear you were the one who gave them a way to say goodbye to me. Thank you, for that."

[fromfire]

Verso makes a soft noise of agreement; it seem like they simply will carry those regrets until it's time to let them go. His eyes drift down. He already said his piece about how he will not let go of his regrets; he thinks it would make him into a monster if he did.

He offers a small but real smile. "Still, I hope one day, while you're here, that you can let go of what you regret. There's so much to live and experience now that you have the chance."

A slight pause as he dips his chin down. "But I know that'll take time... it's something that I hope all the same." For all of them.

His shoulders bounce a little as he chuckles. "They like me a lot." It doesn't bother him; his posture tenses for a second as he exhales slowly. He turns one boot to lightly tap against the other.

"I was a great help and asset to them, and that had us grow close," A slight tilting of his head one way then the next. "I care about them and they care about me, but it feels wrong to use the word 'love.' It's a deep like, I'd say." Another little chuckle slips out as he rolls his eyes up toward the ceiling.

His gaze drifts back down to slip back toward Gustave. "You're welcome." It's a beat before he's smiling yet again. "A funny thing to say 'thank you' and 'you're welcome' for, isn't it?"

A beat. "They carried you through the entire journey. You kept them going when they didn't think they could keep going. I think whenever they thought of giving up, they thought of you." Breathing out another sigh, he feels the tension build up in his chest -- all he can do is sigh it out. Another smile follows, "It's good you're here. They really missed you."

[demainvient]

"Mm." He has his own opinions on whether Verso was really just a beneficial ally to a team caught in a net of mourning. He sees the way Maelle looks at him, how comfortable Sciel is with him. Verso hadn't heard the way Maelle defended him, up there on the rooftop, to her own brother. Bonds are forged quickly in the crucible of Expeditions; that's clear not only from his own experience but from the journals they'd found along the way.

But he won't press it. Maelle and Sciel can have that conversation with him on their own, if they want to. He lowers his head a moment, lacing his fingers together, tapping the index finger of his right hand against the metal knuckle of his left. It's strange to hear of himself as a... a symbol, almost. An inspirational memory. Gustave shakes his head, very slightly. "I missed a lot."

It's not a reprimand to himself, just a quiet comment. He missed a lot, and Verso was there for all of it, picking up the slack from Gustave's empty place and helping them in ways Gustave could never have imagined. Is he jealous? Is he grateful? Is it somehow both and so much more, all snarled together in his chest, drenched in guilt and grief? How strange for them both to know each other more from what they've heard from the others than from what they know after meeting here themselves.

But none of that is Verso's fault. Verso isn't the reason he wasn't there to go with them to the mountains, to the Monolith. "I'm glad I get to see them again."

He sucks at his teeth, sits up. "The way I heard it, they never would have gotten to the Paintress without you. Inspiration only goes so far. So it seems like a good thing that we're all here together. A new adventure for Expedition 33."

[fromfire]

Verso lets his gaze drift down at the quiet comment. He mulls over if he should offer some reply or not. His eyes flick back up to Gustave's face and decides ultimately that it's best to leave what is said alone. It's delicate, fragile -- it's best not to touch things that are healing. Poking at a wound won't make it mend itself faster, but interrupt the whole process together.

"Mm." It's his turn to make a soft noise. His chin dips when Gustave says that he's glad to see them once more. He lightly drums his fingers against the surface of the piano's cover once more. A flash of a smile at the praise. "They're giving me a bit too much credit. But I suppose I did know some things that they didn't."

He blinks, looks away, before returning to looking to Gustave.

"I suspect Lune will be arriving soon sensing some disturbance in the balance of the group." His smile widens a little more, shifting to something a little friendlier. "Then, she'll be the true leader of our little Expedition."

His hands lift up, but he doesn't raise his arms high enough to move how he's position against his piano. "But you're fine with it? Me still being part of Expedition 33?" A small inclination of his head. "It feels like that might be asking a lot of you -- and your feelings do matter. Especially in this."

[demainvient]

Lune. He chuckles, nodding, shoulders loose, if not completely relaxed. "Yeah. I'm sure wherever she is, she knows we need her."

It's another weird little jolt, hearing Verso talk about Lune like he knows her. But he does know her, doesn't he? Spent all that time with her, just like he had with Sciel and Maelle. Lumiere is so small these days that it's unusual not to know all the same people your friends know, and Gustave's work took him all over the city, helping out. He'd gotten to know just about everyone, or so it had seemed.

He pushes past it. He hadn't come here to dwell on all the things that make him uncomfortable about Verso; he'd come to make amends. Because they're on the same team. Because they need to be able to work together.

And, maybe a little, for the version of himself from a day ago, who only knew that Verso was an Expeditioner, and helpful, and older than he looks. The version who was glad Verso is here. The version who liked him, even as he found him a little difficult to pin down.

Verso lifts his hands, a placating, open gesture, and Gustave wonders what would happen if he said no. No, how can he be trusted? No, what happens if he has to make a choice between his father and his team? No, there's too much space between them now, a ravine that cracked open, deep and impassable as any from the Fracture?

No, he thought he could trust him, and learning Verso lied, that he held back the truth, hurt more than he could ever have anticipated?

Gustave wets his lip, finds a way to nod his head. "Yeah. Yeah, of course I'm fine with it."

... He's got to be more convincing. He tries a small smile, which mostly makes its way to his eyes, even if it's a little wry. "You can offer things none of the rest of us can. Maelle and Sciel trust you, they're used to working with you. You've earned your place as a part of the team, whether I was there to see it or not. You deserve that spot, Verso. I want you there."

He breathes out a little, hands opening as he tips his head to one side, considering. "I think you and I... maybe we just need to get to know each other. Maybe, in a different life... a different path... I'd still have been there when you joined up, and we'd be just as close as you and the others. If you're willing, I think we deserve to see what we can be, you and me, together. Instead of just being these... stories to each other, that people we care about have told us."

He glances back at Verso, expression open and earnest. "What do you think?"

[fromfire]

"A sixth sense, maybe."

He flicks his index finger toward the ceiling, making small little circles in the air. His eyes close. If they all were together, would they need him? He wants to stay with them, to watch over them, but he continues to wonder if that's his own selfishness. What is his place? How can he be useful?

His eyes open.

Verso can't help the expression that dances over his face at Gustave saying that he's fine with it. His head tilts as he isn't able to hide the frown. A slower, meaningful blink as he looks away from him. Letting him collect himself to try again with what he is saying.

He drifts his gaze back to him, sees the small smile. You want me there? Of course, he doesn't say that aloud. They're trying to mend feelings and misunderstandings. Gustave is here to talk and he should continue to respect that versus start an unnecessary fight over words.

Only it isn't just misunderstandings.

His shoulders lower, feeling the weight on them, but he tries to make the gesture seem more like he's relaxing more against the piano -- hearing something that's a relief -- rather than something that builds more weight upon his chest.

"I think that sounds more than fair." Fairer than deserved. He breathes a little laugh through his nose. "So, let's start again. Verso. The only son of Renoir." He gently rests a hand against his only chest. Running his thumb's nail against his index finger, he wonders if he should mention how his relationship with Renoir has changed.

His head gives a little shake.

"Immortal from Expedition Zero. Over one-hundred years old." His shoulders lift and lower. "A simple, straight-forward description, I'd say." Another little smile. He did think of saying how he isn't quite as immortal as he once was. However, he doesn't want Maelle to know; he's playing stupid, playing dumb, if he takes a hit and dies from it -- at least they'll be safe. He'll claim ignorance after.

[demainvient]

A frown flickers over Verso's face before he shutters it, expression smoothing out once more. Verso doesn't believe him; fair enough. Neither of them really believe each other, which isn't the best possible foundation for new teammates, let along a potential friendship, but things change. Maybe, as they get to know one another, the wariness and uncertainty will fade. Maybe they'll both stop thinking they each know the right thing to do, and start listening to each other instead.

Maybe, maybe.

But Verso gives that charming little laugh, brief and self-effacing, and introduces himself all over again, and he is charming, if also an unknown element. "I find it hard to believe there's anything simple or straight-forward about you."

It's amused, not an accusation, and Gustave sits up to take his turn, gesturing toward his own chest. "Gustave. An engineer before I was an expeditioner. Two sisters, one of which you know; three apprentices back in Lumière."

He shakes his head right back, eyebrows lifting, wry. "32 years old, and not immortal, it turns out. Not that I was expecting to be."

[fromfire]

His shoulders lift in a shrug at the comment that there probably isn't anything simple about him. He tilts his head to the side as he joins in the amusement.

Verso glances away shortly after the introduction. "Well, it is nice to meet you." There is a wall of words that he could say, but he decides those are the best ones to choose from what could be said.

"Anyway, you've probably seen enough of me today." He breathes out a little laugh through his nose. Drumming his fingers on the surface of the cover, his smile flickers across his face.

"You're right to your emotions and outrage, you know?" A slight beat. "End up burning yourself out fast if you don't let yourself feel." His smile remains as he gives his casual advice.

Verso thinks he should give another apology, but decides that he's said too many already. Eventually they'll sound like nothing but placating statements. He decides to let that one go and instead say something truthful. "There's still some things I can't say yet but it's not being hidden from you. It's just a conversation not yet had, all right?"

[demainvient]

As methods of getting rid of him go, it's one of the more polite ones. And Verso's not wrong, really: Gustave has probably seen enough of him today, and vice versa. He can't imagine Verso's all that thrilled to be spending the time with him, either, not when he's the reason — however unwittingly — Verso is now separated from his teammates and friends.

He huffs a small breath of laughter as he sets his hands on his knees. "Yeah. Good advice for both of us, I think."

What reaction might Verso be hiding under that warm, oh so charming smile? Anger, resentment? That same awkward sense of having been replaced, of no longer being needed, that Gustave himself feels?

If there's a fight to come, who would really be a more useful member of the team? From a purely practical standpoint, the answer is clear. Maybe not even just a practical one.

He's standing as Verso goes on, and pauses there, half-turned, listening. A conversation not yet had. It only sparks more questions: why not? is it something Verso feels he can't handle yet, the way everyone seems to think he can't handle things yet?

Gustave considers him for a moment, thoughtful. "Okay, fair enough. But just so I know if I need to brace myself down the line, is it gonna be something else I won't enjoy hearing? If you can tell me, I guess. Otherwise I'll, well... wait and be surprised, I suppose."

[fromfire]

His shoulders gives a little shrug at the comment that it's good advice for them both. But he decides to not follow up with any reply; he just smiles simply and easily.

He has already decided to burn out for the people that are around him. Be that the 33s or anyone else. He's not seeking forgiveness; he's not looking for validation. He simply feels that the sum of his life should be used for those around him. It's that simple and that complex.

Whatever he feels, he doesn't want that to become a burden for others. Not that it always works out that way, but he'd rather his emotions not be a chain that drags others down. So, he'll figure out a way to apologize for the brief weight they had to carry because of him.

He watches Gustave get up to leave. He tilts his head slightly in a farewell. But he does pause when the man pauses. His head tilts the opposite way.

"I can't imagine it'll be an enjoyable conversation." He scratches his beard in thought. That much he can, at least, let him know. "But I don't think you need to worry for another shoe to drop, though. I did, after all, help the Expedition kill the Paintress and Renoir."

A slow blink and he tilts his chin up. "In any case, I don't have any regrets about what happened in the Monolith."